20 Sept 2008
I AM Is Love
Q: Something kinda interesting and exciting passed by the window of experience this morning
& I thought it would be fun to share it with you: Sometime this morning around 4:30 AM I awoke to a very full and wonderful
awareness that no matter what might happen to "me" it truly does not matter because there is no "me" to be happened to.
Body/minds come and go like the leaves on a tree but is of no consequence. It was a clear realization of "no me"
and at the same time I AM and it was a joy. This body/mind stayed awake & "awake" for a little while and then drifted
back into sleep. I can't describe how beautiful this experience was. Somewhat like the first time this at least partially occurred
during one of our phone conversations several months ago. If anything this seemed to be even a deeper clearing of the
garbage and misidentification.
C: Okay …
Q: Out and about today busy with this and that but underneath all activity flowed the wonderful
freedom of no "me." Hits of this awakening seem to occur "out of the blue" fairly frequently and always without
any expectation or effort but this morning the air of realization was exceptionally free and complete. I Am is Love.
C: Indeed – I AM IS Love. But NOT some kind compassionate
loving all that appears and judging all to be wonderful – BUT the reality-loving-aliveness IS a timeless Being-Awareness
PRIOR to appearances, a totally NON-conceivable NON-experiencable NON- knowable LOVE that loves both Love and Hatred absolutely
in equal Non-Measure J.
...and yes while seeming a wonder of this life that
both IS and IS not this is simply another meaningless appearance happening in this Presence of Awareness prior to waking-dreaming-sleeping
... that Being-aliveness that You truly ARE ...
You might recall that at first when this investigation into the I AM of "identity" (the false
sense of separateness), initially this I AM often appears as a painful energetic contraction, often giving experiences of
a sense of frustration, grief or even depression and despair. When that "I AM" arrived as a sense of I and other-than-I at
around the age of 2-1/2, there came a subtle and unwelcome sense that “Paradise
is lost” and the seeking to return to our true home began. The child had been simply Being, being nothing and everything,
being lived by life without any sense of a separate “me-entity”. Now it becomes miserable and seeks release from
the imprisonment of the apparent cage of limitation for the personal entity.
The seeking starts up as soon as this “separateness” apparently happens, and takes
all manner of forms, from seeking through affection of the parents and trying to gain approval, to adolescent addictions to
"love", sex, drugs, and alcohol, to addictions to gaining wealth or fame, and for many in religion and/or therapy and fix-me
seminars, to in a few cases Nonduality in its variety of expressions. When the I AM is finally seen to be only a concept with
NO independent power to choose, plan, and make its life work, then the contraction of energy begins to crumple and finally,
lose its power to make the organism suffer any longer.
All of that said – well – I love the bottom line you shared: As you say beautifully,
this seeing is “a clear realization of "no me" and at the same time I AM and it was a joy”. YES! How cool
is THIS! Being-As-You-ARE. Welcome Home!