No Way MEANS NO Way
Q: Just wondering, it seems that this is a sort of "all or nothing seeing." There can't be a partial
freedom or a half-enlightenment, it seems that it either is or it isn't.
C: It is both – and neither! The appearance of the paradox of life living itself and me
living my life is stunningly simple. Too simple really – the mental gymnastics the mind performs attempting to grasp
the ungraspable are amazing and sure seem to be leading “somewhere other than here and to something better than this-as-it-is"
are really amazing and yet all that effort and struggle leaves you where you started – HERE.
Q: The current flip flopping suggests that sometimes there is freedom, and sometimes there is
bondage in a dream self.
C: That’s confusing what is pointed to, which is that it’s ALL “The One”
dancing with Itself in an endless beginningless play of Being-Consciousness-Peace – yet appearing as Not Being, NOT
awakeness, NO Peace. It's a paradox that cannot be grasped or known, that The One is appearing as Many! But an appearance
is just that! Like there is no watery substance in a mirage, there is NO actual solid substance in this appearance –
ask your neighborhood physicist – or mystic.
Q: I worry that my existence will always be this sort of "half way thing," without the true freedom
that you speak of ever being realized.
C: Okay, now here comes the bombshell: There is NO “freedom I (or anyone else) speak OF.
There is NO “IS” freedom! Yet these books and websites sure talk about this freedom a lot. So it might be worth
looking into the question “who wants freedom"? – And "who ASSUMES ‘I am NOT free and must strive to attain
Q: Does investigating the "me" or doing any spiritual practice have
any merit at all?
C: NO. That is the only “merit” – discovering finally that nothing works. NO
path can lead you to what already IS. Who doesn’t have clarity on that? Who seeks? Who practices, chants, meditates
etc?” WHO? “You"? Do you really do it or is something you don’t know DRIVING that seeking and failing to
find? So seek your true nature with all the effort and struggle you can muster. Then (if there is a kind of ‘Grace’)
it may dawn on ya that it’s an impossible Sisyphean task and that it is always and forever doomed to fail! Hitting bottom
the ego may experience its powerless. But as always, there are for sure NO guarantees!
Q: I currently have a sort of spiritual routine that seems to offer some very powerful glimpses
of peace, freedom, and wholeness when the practices are followed, and then in day to day life there is a tendency to become
identified as a contracted 'me-person', which increases the desire to 'get back to' the freedom that seems so distant. This
whole thing seems utterly ridiculous in one sense, yet it has a very powerful hold.
C: So these glimpses you describe are merely passing experiences, and your description is evidence
that this stuff ultimately cannot work!
Q: Sometimes there is a yearning to just be a normal guy, and just go partying and seek pleasure
and forget about the whole enlightenment thing. This seems equally stupid and fruitless, as the glimpses of oneness are always
more tempting than my "old way of life."
C: You will do whatever The One drives you to do! The claim of the existence of a "you" and
that “you” do this doing is what is pointed out as the ego-phantom in your soap opera you call life! It's
all a STORY taken to be true in innocence and ignorance as we ignore this Present Aware Being and take on the idea "I am me
and that out there is NOT me." That's the whole story of being a person suffering and trying to escape what is.
Yet it seems that this dream must go on - until it doesn’t. Time seems real until it
doesn’t. You as a personal doer with choice and volition will take yourself to be real until it fades – or explodes
– in frustration!
As Jeff Foster put it in “Revelations Of Oneness: “The revelation of Oneness had been
happening all around me, in each and every moment, but in my search for an identity I had missed it completely. But in hindsight,
how perfectly it had all unfolded. A lifetime of seeking and suffering had been necessary in order to wake up from the dream
of seeking and suffering”.
But before that evokes a false sense of hope for a better future, stop and ponder, who is this
that is seeking and suffering? If you were doing kit wouldn’t’ you STOP? Haven’t you noticed that you are
DRIVEN to seek? What is driving that drivenness?
It seems that our search is always for an identity: A great big huge identity called God or Totality,
or a lesser identity like say rock star happy person or even The President. But the terrible news is that absolutely NO identity
can be satisfying because ALL identities are fundamentally FALSE. What is REAL? What is Eternal? What cannot change that permits
and embraces the ever changing universe? Look into that.
Q: Please help, as I have spent countless hours just listening to teachers talk about something
so obvious and simple, and yet the pointers only seem to offer temporary respite with no real transformation.
C: I would be happy to help IF I believed there was anyone in that bodymind that needed help!
That said, feel free to call or write again and we can explore further, and maybe there will be an ego-suicidal dive into
Nothing... Who knows? Anything is possible for The One You Are!