“Awakening” is NOT “It”
Q: I had an awakening experience in April after about a year of serious spiritual
reading, meditation, and pranayama very intensively. I heard Eckhart Tolle Power of the Now audiobook, and read "the impersonal
life" and the lightbulb went off. I knew that stillness would pay off, in the following weeks I grew very frustrated demanding
an answer to WHO AM I? Finally it was like WOW, WOW OH MY GOODNESS! The I that says I is god!!!! I could see that everything
was GOD! I burst into tears of joy mixed with guilt over my lifelong sins knowing that god was the one I sinned against no
matter what the trivial incident. I was in a state of complete ecstacy for days, energy was coursing through my every cell.
Pulsing with a foreign lifeforce. Every night I could not sleep because the energy would start pulsing out of my head and
chest, next I would drift from mental movie to mental movie with glimpses of my body being killed in medeival battles, wondering
in strange lands etc. All the while knowing I was not the body. I started pushing these mental movies aside and just watching
the space in my head, several times my body would seem to disappear, everything would disappear, and I would be in a state
of such divine rapture that I did not want to come back to reality. It almost felt as if that state was the only thing that
was real and this was all a nonsense game.
Daily random thoughts died down by 95% it almost felt like I was here but life seemed
artificial, synchronicities were everywhere, every thought I had would manifest in some way (sometimes just minor indications)
I got spooked that everything was me and maybe I was just crazy! I even had visions of myself in a coma in a hospital room
dreaming this whole life. Scary stuff. Anyways it killed the bliss. I have had experiences with car wrecks etc where I just
knew I was fabricating this life, this has went on since childhood with me and I am really worn out. Now I can keep my mind
quiet, but the bliss is gone! Happiness is nothing like it was.
Charlie: This is a pretty common experience, a similar thing happened here also. These can be
terribly misleading though, because what is pointed to as your true nature is NOT this flashy or blissy experience at all
but rather the seeing is that all the happenings you described are appearing IN what you really are - timeless spacelike awareness.
The only true “awakening” is the stunning realization that there IS no awakening,
nor any person” to awaken.
You say "I" can do this or that." But what exactly IS that "I"? Only a thought with NO substance and NO power to
do or not do a damn thing! It's delusion to assume you are controlling or directing life (and just a bit arrogant, isn't it?)
So what are you? YOU are That in which questions, questioner, passing experiences, the body, "time", the universe
etc all appear.
THAT is Ordinary Space-like Awareness. Nothing special.
Ponder these notes below. Read it all at least three times and take a few days to re-read and look at what is pointed
to. This is beyond mere understanding, and beyond any experience. Ponder. Write again in a few days if there are any
questions or doubts left about what you are and what you are not.
Pease look deeply into your self using these Pointers
are from John Greven (www.onenessjustthat.com.) Do not ignore these! Read and use these to LOOK .... at least three times ... thanks.
What is your next thought going to be?
It is a simple question, but the answer is profound. The answer carries with it ramifications that will undo core
beliefs about who you think you are. With just a little watching, you may discover that the answer to the question is not
known until the thought arises. If this is true, what does that mean for who you think you are?
Because the next thought is not and cannot be known until it is already present, some questions may arise….
If I don't know what the next thought is going to be, who comes up with it?
If I don't know what the next thought is going to be, how can I know what choices are going to be made?
If I don't know what choices are going to be made, who does?
If I don't know what choices are going to be made, am I making them at all?
If I didn't make the choice, where did it come from?
Have I ever made a choice about anything?
If I have never made a choice, is there any responsibility?
~
Do I Exist?
Buddha is purported to have said, "Events happen, deeds are done, but there is no individual doer thereof."
Francis Crick - Nobel Prize recipient in medicine for deciphering the DNA code said, "You, your joys, sorrows, memories,
ambitions, your sense of identity, free will and love are no more then behaviors of a vast assembly of nerve cells."
Any thought is just a movement of energy - it is just mental noise..
The thought that there is a you or that there is no person - is just mental noise.
The thought that self-realization has or has not occurred - is mental noise.
Anything that appears in the manifested reality - whether it appears as a thought, mind, body, other, no-one, –
anything, nothing - is, in the final understanding, just appearance in a non-conceptual awareness.
What the One source is - cannot be perceived or conceived simply because there is no other to perceive the One. Yet,
there is an undeniable presence that the "I" thought refers to. Find what the mind calls "I." Be relentless until the Source
is clear. Everything conceivable and perceivable is appearance - in the presence/awareness - that belongs to no one. That,
I am.
~
don't Exist – Confused?
If the "I" is just an illusion, with no independent existence, then what can you do towards self-realization? Some
"teachers" says there is nothing you can do. If you are a seeker - that is frustrating and just does not seem right. There
certainly seems to be a "me" doing things. Others say, to investigate the "I." Ask the question, "Who am I?" As always,
the problem is trying to understand these seemingly conflicting pointers in the mind. What is this non-existent "I" supposed
to do? Nothing? Even that is something.
These obviously appear to be two very different approaches. But, neither is intended to be the answer. They are,
like everything else, just pointers. Taken literally, it is a hopeless situation. The "teachers" who would say, there is nothing
you can do will pass the salt if asked. Seemingly, someone did something.
Ask someone what day it is and the mind responds. In the same way, ask someone to inquire, "Who am I?" and the mind
responds. The question is whether or not "someone" responded – or - is it all apart of the natural functioning?
Certainly it seems like someone is doing the thinking, passing the salt, and asking "Who am I?", but under investigation
that idea is seen to be false. The realization is that there has never been "anyone" thinking thoughts or doing things. Thoughts,
like everything else, come and go according to the influences upon the brain. Just as a drop of water moves around in the
river without an independent nature, so thoughts arise and subside without anyone choosing or controlling the activity.
The concept that there is nothing you can do to bring the search to an end is true. Yet, doing is happening all the
time isn't it? The body is hungry and eating happens. The body is tired and sleep happens. The search itself is happening.
If it is true that there is no doer, then a lot is still getting done! So, there is no one telling you to inquire, "Who am
I?" There is no one to inquire, "Who am I?" Yet, the inquiry still happens. When it is seen that the "I" that believes it
is doing the inquiry is just a simple thought with a complex web of concepts supporting it, then no one uncovered the false
center of "me."
~
The Source, The One, God
A Humble Mind's Interpretation
Words can never capture that which is
beyond all things, but here we go anyway.
The One knows itself as the only reality. This is unquestionable.
The peace, that is the One, is beyond anything that the mind can comprehend. It is absolute. It is a peace born from
timeless existence and sole presence that is truly at home with itself. It is a peace that just one taste of would satisfy
a human mind for a lifetime. It is a peace so profound that nothing can disrupt it - just as nothing can touch space, nothing
can touch this all-prevailing peace. It is vibrant stillness and screaming silence.
The source knows itself as timeless- without beginning and without end. This knowing is absolute. There is absolute
certainty in the existence of the One. No question can arise in the One, as all is clearly known. Not a knowing of things,
as the human mind collects, (although that is present moment to moment), but a knowing of the single reality, that I Am. The
Love and Peace of the One are the same –seemingly different yet in perfect harmony and balance. Nothing moves, while
everything is vibrant and seemingly alive.
As seeming individuals, we use a word called love. When speaking of the Love that is the One, the human conditional
love is something different. The Love of the One, like the Peace, is absolute and unassailable. It is a Love that is complete
and present in a source that is timeless. The mind would draw the analogy to a Love and Peace that have evolved into perfection
over a timeless existence. Yet, the word perfection is too limiting.
The One knows itself as all pervading yet without location or space to fill. The One knows itself as absolute power
– absolute presence, yet nothing to effect.
The One – as the attempt above describes, is what you are. The One does not exist without what you are and
you are not without the One. One presence. One Consciousness. One awareness. There are no individuals within the One.
~
No Mind
In thinking about the mind, there is often a sense that the mind and brain are two different things. The thought
may be that the mind is somehow an ethereal private world that is cherished or is perhaps a tormentor - while the brain is
often ignored as having anything to do with the mind. As an example, a friend recently made the statement, "I'm going to sell
everything I own and move into my mind - since I live there anyway." The mind gives us a sense of place, whereas the brain
just appears to be an idea in the mind.
We know of course that the brain is storing information and carrying on bodily functions. But this is really more
of a belief than a true knowing because we can't see or feel the brain carrying out its functions. There is no sensation of
the brain sending a signal to blink the eye, no seeing of the brain storing or retrieving information from memory, or even
translating these words. If something is touched with a finger, there is contact with that something, and it is known. But,
trying to make contact with the brain seems impossible. Therefore, the idea of a mind receives the attention – contact
is possible with thoughts and feelings and they become the focus. The mind appears to be active – in the head- while
the brain appears to be silent. Perhaps the two different labels of brain and mind appear to mean something different, but
are, in actuality, referring to the same thing. Perhaps if we got square with the facts things would appear differently.
Is there a mind separate from the brain? Is what we refer to as the mind just the thinking process of the brain?
Perhaps, if we dropped the label of mind and just saw the brain for what it is, a complex network of cells that make up a
limited, habitual, machine type organ, the mind would loose some of its seeming authority. An analogy has been drawn from
the computer function of "garbage in garbage out". The brain is truly no different. In regards to what we refer to as the
mind, all the brain is doing is organizing information, combining information, and bringing ideas and behaviors back out.
The brain is a conditioned organ. It is nothing but a machine. The conditioning that it has received was started millions
of years ago and through a seeming series of events, is what it is, right now, down to the last cell, memory, and thought.
There is no mind.
~
Normal
Space
Normal
space - what a miracle it is.
Sitting between every cell – the space is.
Floating between every blade of grass
it is.
Filling the lungs of every creature, untouched by the simple flow of a breeze
or massive collision of suns –
the space is.
The planets,
suns, and comets... Creation and thoughts -
in all their forms dancing within simple space –
dependent on it -
and yet, not touching it.
A fitting
analogy - but as beautiful as space could seem -
the mind would get tired to just looking at it.
Why? Because it is
not the content
and the mind is designed for content.
Yet -
if you were the space -----
how easily the content could be enjoyed.
Rather than fearing the content
or that something
would be missing, coming, or going -
the momentary appearances of content are effortlessly allowed to be,
seeing without
condition or expectation.
You are
not seeing the space -
you are the space -
the space like -
presence - awareness.
~
When asked which books I recommend, I often say, start with John's book, "Oneness" ... then read mine if you like,
just for fun.
Q: Kinda like I sat too close to the TV for so long that I became a character instead of just
the audience!
C: And the character has no substance whatsoever!
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