The Eternal State ~ Advaita Nonduality

19 sept 2008 - who is this i that is 'afraid'?

the heart is where your home is | writings | basics | pointers | archives 2009 | dialogues

18 Sept. 2008

WHO Claims “I Am Afraid?

Q: The latest video re fear on your “audio-video” page of your website is very interesting to me. I have a ton of fear at the moment (actually have had it my whole life, developing into “anxiety disorder” about 11 yrs ago) and its getting worse. 

C: Let me say right away, Nonduality is NOT a substitute for any body or mind-brain disorders. The proper place to deal with that issue is with a qualified medical professional. If you are not currently getting that kind of assistance, please do so as soon as you can.

Q: I watch the silliness of the mind and I view the whole thing as “allowing a thorn to remove a thorn” or “the mind destroying itself”. Are these descriptions apt?

C: All descriptions are just that – descriptions of some happening or some concept. What we point out here is that NO description is “apt” OR “not apt”.

Q: In addition, you talk about “breathing into the fear” and “letting it come”, and you also elude to your battles with intense fear before your “awakening” in other audio/videos - could you elaborate on these 2 things more for me please.

C: Prior to my meeting John Wheeler I was sometimes afraid of a future that never came and I realized finally that all "my fears” were only and always about a “me” that was believed to be real and solid, as an entity, and the basic lament of that egoic entity is “what will happen to “me” if this or that terrible future happens.” When this “me” sense was investigated it was found to be substantially nonexistent, merely a chimera or appearance pf thought energy taken a solid in ignorance. That points to the clear seeing that in fact “me does not exist” and yet, I AM – whole, complete, and existing here and now as Being, Consciousness, Aliveness Itself.

Prior to meeting John Wheeler, I took a course developed by an Indian sage, one Sri Sri Ravi Shankar (no relation to the famous Sitar player), called The Art Of Living. In this course I learned a series of physical yogic practices, manly centered on the breath, that made a huge difference in the body-mind apparatus with the name charlie. Some habitual fears “imbedded” in brain and body cells from race car crashes and a few other "near death" happenings (one of which was nearly drowning in a wild ocean surf and getting a breath at the very last instant when the breath could be held no longer.)

Given the experience this organism had I recommend that course without reservation, particularly for those with chronic anxiety or fear, but ONLY with the concurrence of your health professional. Check it out at and then check with your doctor about whether it may be of benefit for you.

Q: Thank you! To be honest, I don’t know how much more fear and silliness this mind can put up with before it explodes or something. Your help is much appreciated.

C: No worries. Just follow the pointers as best you can and do make sure you are getting good support from appropriate sources, and please ponder the pointers that follow below, to nail down the FACTS (NOT Assumptions!) of what you are and what you are not. You may also find asking yourself, who Am I? Who is claiming “I” am afraid or anxious? As Sri Ramana Maharshi put this, “The thought ‘who am I’ will destroy all other thoughts and in the end that thought will itself be destroyed, like a stick used to stir a burning fire is itself destroyed in the end …”

Ponder Deeply:

Resolve Your Authentic Identity First

If there is a sense of longing for love, happiness or peace, a feeling of needing to locate a truth, a sense of something still missing or something wrong:

You must resolve the core issue of your REAL “self-identity” right from the start. Knowing what you are - and also knowing what you are not - is essential to realizing the natural state of your true Being. One pointer is to challenge all you “know” and see directly you are NOT what you know you are, NOT anything you can name or see or realize. Knowing what you are not - not that thought, not this feeling, not that perception, not this knower, not that “mind”, not that seer, not that hearer, not ANY thing; not that body not any words not any such this or that – is certainly one approach - but this way of looking alone will not necessarily give the final push into the already realized Eternal State.

One can spend a whole lifetime on self-inquiry, yoga, study of scriptures, meditation, worship, breathing practices, or any other path of “becoming” – which depends in itself on a falsely assumed “time” or “someday” - and end up with nothing more than extreme frustration - unless the core issue of authentic identity is resolved out of the gate.

Do you know what you really are?

Get THAT handled first. What are you? Undeniable Being. YOU ARE. Any doubt about that? Awareness IS. IN that Awareness there IS Consciousness, direct incontrovertible KNOWING, translated by language (“mind” as I AM.

Any question that Awareness IS and there IS Consciousness arising here and now?

You – the Authentic You – Are that Awareness and nothing else. Everything that appears, appears IN (or ON) this empty screen of Pure Awareness. You are That. Get that beyond doubt. Even doubts arise in or on that Awareness. Understand – You Are That. Nothing but That.

Full stop.

Pause thought in this instant and here you are, not as a thought, just ordinary wakefulness which is in fact no thing – you are no thing and yet, YOU ARE. Existing as Consciousness, and prior to Consciousness abiding eternally as Being-Aware-Of-Itself and THAT is peace, the Bliss of Simply Being. This is the Bliss That Is – and yet belongs to no-one.

Tat Tvam Asi. THAT, Thou Art. Sat-Chit-Ananda. Awareness-Awakeness-Lovingness.

Stormy Weather

In this Awareness-Consciousness there appears moving Energy-Aliveness, appearing as all manner of experiencing, all of which is like stormy or calm weather, windy or calm, rainy or sunny, weather appears in the empty sky yet the sky itself remains empty, free, untouchable and invincible. Like that YOU as Being-Awareness are that empty sky of apparent Consciousness, silently observing and also permeating the objective appearance, the storms and calms of anxiety, fear, joy, happiness, love, hate, and all the mental movements out of a silence so vast no sound can ever obliterate it -

There Is No Other Than That

Look. Seeking "Wholeness", Completion, Happiness, Love or "Liberation" from “Another”, whether that "revered other" be a "Guru, Guide, Lover, or Friend", is a perfect way to avoid Paradise. Paradise is THIS. Just as it Is and just as it Isn’t. All seeking "out there" is a dream of a “me”, foolishly knocking on the door to Paradise, from inside Paradise. Paradise is only lost in seeking it!

This Loving Oneness Cannot Be Known. To “know” Oneness there would have to be a sense of separation FROM Oneness. Who cannot see the fault in that logic?  

Feel free to stay in touch and if the spirit moves, you might want to engage in a one to one consultation (details can be found on the site consults and meetings page.

Love ya.


Got Questions relating to the "spiritual seeking"? You are welcome to write to Charlie at (All correspondence is considered public, and no promise for confidentiality is made or implied.)

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NOTE If there is persistent and deep psychological suffering, please make sure there is not a physical component. If you have thoughts of suicide there may be a mechanical element ... get a good physician and/or psychiatrist (NOT a psychologist) to look at the machine and see if it has some chemical imbalance. Non-duality is NOT a substitute for proper medical assessment and care!