The Eternal State ~ Advaita Nonduality

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26 October 2007

All Preferences are for a "me"

An email arrives: In the "NowsLetter" you wrote, "deepest seeing". There's a preference here for just "seeing". ("Deepest" could imply a 'path' to getting deeper ...)

Glad to hear from you and I always appreciate your detailed approach to pointers. I will be posting this shortly to clarify the pointer for any else who may have a similar interpretation:

It's said that way as there is quite often, for the appearance of a seeker, a "seeing of this". But that seeing is not the deepest seeing wherein there is no one. It's pointed out to that dream-seeker, out of the dialogues I have with those appearances that are still a bit deluded by the subtle sense there is a see-ER of this Absolute see-ing. But no pointer will ever be "accurate" or "right" or "perfect." They're ONLY pointers! Focus on getting the words a certain way can be misleading as then the focus is off Presence, Being-Awareness-Aliveness, and onto the comparing and judging mind-stuff.

Ultimately all words only point, and so they appear out of nowhere. This is an absolute mystery here.

Finally, I am reminded of the Hsin Hsin Ming: "The great way is not difficult for those who have no preferences." From no-point-of-view ALL preferences are for an entity. No worries, not having a go at anyone, this is just a natural aha! In this no-preferences no-entity Seeing This -- as it is -- arising in what IAMYOUAREALIVENESS.

Werd! Enough said... except, Love!


26 October 2007

"You" were Never Born

A.J. Writes, Nisargadatta says: "Knowing you are nothing is wisdom. Knowing you are everything is Love". This suggests there are two steps. One step is the realisation: I am no-thing. Second step is the realisation: I AM LOVE.

A.J., I have one question for you, now: Are you suffering? All this philosophical meandering will never end the suffering of the seeker. You’ll have a library full of quotes and pointers that you can read while you’re suffering, OR you can look at what is Real and what is False and end the seeking and suffering right now. It seems that it’s “up to you.” But is anything up to this idea of a “you?”

1. Do you exist? YES, before thought is, you are this: I AM.

2. Who are you? Nothing but That.  Ask YOU, “Who Am I?”

So long as there is a belief in a "you," a "doer," put that doer-you to the task of asking "Who Am I?" and  ONLY THAT, until no “separate one” that believes he is and can do, is left to ask. “Who Am I?”

From listening to and watching the various expressions of non-duality-teachers I get the impression that most of those teachers only realized the first step. I am No-Thing. As I see it that looks like a DONUT. You know, donut, hole in the center, rest of the cake one perfect ZERO. The hole being the space where once the ego dwelled. The ZERO-shape can be seen as the remaining, persisting activity of what I call 'self-ing'. Consciousness has not ceased to be.

Pass the donuts, I’m hungry. I’ll have a chocolate one! Look: Consciousness is an ASPECT of Being. Call that Being-Awareness or Being-Consciousness; words that POINT to the indescribable Eternal Isness of The Whole.

But first off let’s get the Nisargadatta quote accurate: The above is an interpretation. That’s what the mind does, and that’s why the direct pointers of a Christ or a Buddha, a Ramana Maharshi or a Nisargadatta,  are lost in the mire of reinterpretation by ignorant minds that altered the sayings to fit THEIR conceptual understanding. And the seeker suffers due to this misinterpretation! Here is as close as we can get (Maurice Freydam’s translation, in “I Am That”): "When I know I am nothing; that is wisdom. When I know I am everything; that is love. My life moves between the two."

Leaving out the third pointer,”…life moves between the two,” is what the mind does to separate wholeness. The inclusiveness of the whole quote is lost as the focus goes on two apparently separate occurrences.

Of course the word “when” implies “time” and so we always have a falling short of the actual whenever words are used. Words ONLY point to the Timeless Wordless Isness of The Natural Eternal Being-Presencing-Aliveness.

And so dear One, this myth of “steps” and “realizations” and “becoming” will keep you stuck in the story of path and goal forever! The sudden Seeing is always right now and is spontaneously BOTH Nothing AND Everything … and all there IS, is That Love, loving to BE. Full Stop. All that arises is arising IN You As You: Not Two. This word, “Advaita,” is a description of an indescribable Seeing that all there is, is One-Essence, Aliveness. This cannot be repeated too often! So, this is the great death of paths and goals in what IS … This Being. Nothing Being Everything, if you like.

All you are doing here is analyzing pointers. LOOK where the pointers POINT!

Tony Parsons says that after the 'walk in the park' there were many years of alternating 'me-ing' and 'be-ing'. This activity finally died away and ever since LOVE shines. LOVE that embraces everything. The energy of the personal self has burnt up and no-self is the living reality. 'Gone, gone beyond' as the Buddha says. Nirvana! Beyond Being.

So that’s a description of a story and when you take the story as a ‘path” you stay stuck in becoming! There is NO “state” of “no-self, living reality.” Again and again comes the pointless pointer: All there is, is this Aliveness, and THIS includes absolutely all of it, everything: THIS IS IT: This Pain, pleasure, seeing, not seeing, apparent bondage, apparent liberation, being and not being … WHAT can be EXCLUDED from the Whole!!?? THIS IS the "LOVE that embraces everything!" It's never been ABSENT! This mind delusion is of a “person” trying to grasp the Whole and the “person” is merely an idea in your mind. All you are seeing is your own mind, which ultimately is the One “minding” but in this interim dark night you believe it is real and so try to figure out how to not be!

So okay, go ahead, get away from Being. Run! Run fast and maybe you’ll escape your Being-Awareness-Aliveness! RUN!

How’s that going?

Getting stuck in the first step is getting stuck in what Tony calls 'The Glasshouse". A sort of getting frozen in space. This can be very delusive.

To WHO? You believe all this crap? Tony would be laughing his head off I suspect, at how you re-interpret what is being shared. This is YOUR delusion, no one else’s, dear friend. The simplicity of The Message is not being heard, because "you" are "trying to hear it!"

One can have the notion of being enlightened. But underneath the self is subtly lurking in the dark. The final frontier is not yet passed. Is there a final step beyond Being? And is there a total cessation of consciousness? A total and absolute death before the dead of the body.

This death is what IS. “You” were simply never born! All that was born and can die is an idea, a fixated belief in a separate entity called “me” that OWNS “this body” as “my” body” and these thoughts and feelings as “my thoughts and feelings” and this apparent universe as "my universe." But HOW can what was never ever born ever “die?” You are already dead. Dead man talking!

See that all that is happening is a “me” identity is fixated on stories of paths and final steps and someday and perhaps there will be a dropping off of the false. Seemingly it dawns on “you” that there IS no “you” and there never WAS. But that will ever and only be Right Now Right here … and since you are and you cannot escape that you are, Being Itself, then there may be a hearty laugh and then it’s off to the pub!

How do you look at this Charlie? Does what I'm saying make sense or is it Bullshit?

It may “make sense” to a mind. BUT: All that “makes sense” is FALSE! Why trade the Unborn Aliveness for “understanding?” That’s to sell a diamond for the price of spinach!

Again, A.J., I have one question for you, now: Are you suffering? All this philosophical meandering will never end the suffering of the seeker. You’ll have a library full of quotes and pointers that you can read while you’re suffering, OR you can look at what is Real and what is False and end the seeking and suffering right now. It seems that it’s “up to you.” But is anything up to this idea of a “you?”

Do you exist?

Who are you?

Thank you for your wonderful reply!

De Nada! :-) question came from reading the works of [names another writer]. I don't know if you are familiar with her writings?


She wrote three books ... In these books she writes about a journey, a passage through consciousness (or self) and the gradual falling away of that, finally resulting in a total cessation of the human experience and the mysterious arising of Christ-Consciousness, which is -in her view- the same as the Buddhist 'Dharmakaya'. I have always regarded these writings as a monstrous piece of 'spiritual' bullshit, but still intriguing.

Intriguing to the mind only. Bullshit is nearly always interesting to a seeking mind because it thinks it's finding some answers to the I DON'T KNOW of Non-Conceptual Being-Awareness-Truth -- and the Mysterious Abyss is to be filled with concepts so that the mind-me entity which never was avoids it's own demise ... totally paradoxical and utterly ridiculous!

Especially where she throws up the possibility of a second step of going beyond 'the unitive state' as she calls the falling away of the I-thought. This is where the donuts come from. Her description of ego-less man. In your reply this is being exposed as total and utter bullshit, absolute phony baloney! THERE IS ONLY EVER THIS. FULL STOP!!!


The simplicity of the message is obvious. There is NO-ONE. Period!!!! What Tony Parsons calls the 'Glass box' is a mind game, that's how I understand it. All mind games are illusions. Survival-games of holding on to the belief in a separate entity. Tony also often says: 'Having a clear understanding of this message doesn't mean there is liberation'. Now that's an interesting statement. It has to do with leaving out Nisargadatta's third pointer " moves between the two". Isn't it Charlie ? I really enjoy this communication. Going mad over THIS"!!!! WOW!!!!!!!

I say that this way: (I think Tony might also) -- "Understanding" Being-Awareness-Aliveness is NOT Being Being-Awareness-Aliveness. Being-Awareness-Aliveness IS. The understander is a phantom, an idea appearing and disappearing IN Being-Awareness as a "facet" or "aspect" OF Being-Awareness. That's all there is to this clear seeing, which no-one sees and nobody knows.

Much fun in the Unborn!

You ask me: "Are you suffering?". The answer is: "I am not suffering !" You are right. All this philosophical meandering will - as far as the mind is concerned, go on for ever. I can go on reading another 10 billion books and still get nowhere. Here the seeking has ended for sure. The question: "Who am I???" got lost in infinity. There is no-one here!

Do I exist? YES!

Who am I???? I don't know!!!!

That's all perfectly clear. Just like airplanes in your videos are happening, so is tapping these keys happening! This IS IT!!!!!!!


The ending of seeking brings on a new dimension of fun. This communication is like playing soccer.Passing the ball is happening. Penalty's are happening. Goals are happening. Nobody is kicking the ball. It's all fun!


And there (here) "IT" IS, glaringly obvious never lost never found. Being-Awareness-Aliveness. Welcome Back to The Home You Never Left.


26 October 2007


Nothing/Everything appears IN You: Being-Awareness-Aliveness


J.M. Asks, Why do you keep a photo of Nisargadatta at your side as if he was a pope? Are you keeping a picture of the separate solid entity that HE  was not, to represent the awareness that IS?

Why?? Why NOT!!?? WHO Cares, Jorge? YOU?? WHO is THAT? WHO asks WHY?

But there is duality in that. Being nothing, as I am when I am in deep sleep, and being everything as I am when I am awake.

That's what happens. Everything is happening ... to no one!

Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Nothing Being Everything Being Being, Being  Being.

BE! Only That …

"But in this process, you must get rid of the identity itself. If you really find out what you are, you will see that you are not an individual, you are not a person, you are not a body. And people who cling to their body identity are not fit for this knowledge." [Nisargadatta quote.] Keeping Nisargadatta’s picture by your side as an icon, presupposes some form of clinging to body identification. That was why I asked "Are you keeping a picture of the separate solid entity that HE was not, to represent the awareness that IS?"

Keep it simple. The picture is there because I like it. That's all.

You as “mind” invent meaning out of nothing and make it real. That's your issue, not mine. All of this appears in You as Being-Awareness-Aliveness. So what? So nothing!

Once "it dawns" that all and nothing "happens" IN what You are and is nothing but Aliveness Appearing and disappearing (as Waking-Sleeping dualism) then all problems are dust. ALL problems are dust.

You are not in the Universe. The Universe is a happening within You ... Being-Awareness-Aliveness.

The story goes on and is fixated on as "my story" until there is the deepest seeing that all this about sages and icons or monks and buddhas is ONLY a story arising AS mind IN No Thing.

Being No Thing, there is Love.

Who is it that likes the picture? Who is this I that likes it? I do not mean to offend you Charlie. Just trying to point to what seems like a contradiction to me. Of course you can like anything you want. 

You say, "Just trying to point to what seems like a contradiction to me." 

All contradictions are in the mind. The mind is this idea of a "me."

The Pointers are paradoxical. Pointing cannot represent or describe and will often appear to the mind as contradictory or even nonsensical. That's the mind! It splits the whole and tries in vain to reassemble that whole. Impossible. YOU will NEVER see this simplicity of One-Essence ... you ARE this One-Essence.....

There is no "one" liking a picture. There is only "liking a picture!" Stop trying to get this in the mind! Relax and BE. No one is offended, no one is offending. Now if this pointing is not good enough as it is ... YOU might want to look:


Who is it that likes the picture? Who is this I that likes it? WHO is THIS "I" who says I do not mean to offend you? WHO is this "you" that "I" don't mean to "offend?" There is no one to be offended and no one to do any offending. This is your fixation. Drop it if you can. If you cannot, cheer up and go have a brewskie.

"I" love "you."



25 October 2007


I Am ... HOW Can I know This?


A.M. Writes, First of all: thank you for the website and the many videos on YouTube! I just love watching those! You invited to contact you and here I go:

Happy to hear from you!

The basic message as I get it is:  stick to the 'I am', look who is doing/wanting/thinking ... I looked, no doer was found, just thoughts arise and body moves - or not.

All fine thus far!

Still is confusion here, disagreement and questions, still searching for something not understood.

Okay, that’s what is happening. Oneness, Totality, arises as confusion and clarity, doubting and certainty, knowing and not knowing. WHAT is the Unchanging Presence IN which all that is arising presently?

In actuality there is nothing and no one, and THIS is what That Nothing and No-One looks like. It’s all in imagination, mind-feeling story, but Being itself, your inescapable Presence-Awareness, is untouched by any of that. It's good to "understand" that what is pointed to is BEYOND agreement or disagreement. I nearly always say do NOT accept, believe, agree with, or trust what any book or any 'person' says. Don't believe anything I say! At the same time drop the disagreeing as well! Leave the self-center out of this: Listen as Oneness hearing Oneness and all will be well. This Unborn Oneness is your true nature; don't trade the Unborn Being-Awareness-Aliveness for empty concepts and paltry beliefs.

I am - how can I know this?

"You" CANNOT "know this!" YOU ... Being-Awareness ... ARE this! This is already known as the Being-Awareness you can never get away from. Try right now to get away from being! STOP BEING, RIGHT NOW! Cannot be done. BEING  IS … BEING. Full Stop.

What is that 'I' if that me, I thought to be, does not exit, is just a thought?

That's why we use the pointer that Aliveness IS 24/7, including "in deep sleep;" that Aliveness beats the heart, breathes through the lungs, grows hair, fingernails ... and "you" are not there! The "you" is an idea arising in Aliveness waking as Consciousness ... this unbounded Consciousness is the Primordial Aliveness appearing as Isness and then the mind kicks in (the brain-mind machine) and translates Pure Unbounded Consciousness into the THOUGHT I, I Am, Other-than-I is, etc. The THOUGHT I AM is NOT the NON-Conceptual I AM.

In deep sleep seems to be nothing.

In deep sleep there IS nothing! Not seems to be. There is no one to whom there seems to be nothing! Hello!?

All I can say next morning is that I missed something out (i.e. because of night/day shift). But all this is kind of experience, thus not real, not to be trusted?

EXACTLY! All that's troubling or confusing is imagination.

So what is left to be me - nothing?

Nothing/Everything. That Thou Art. Not Two Not One!

Right now experience is here - is that being? Table, PC, breathing - is that being?

YES! Being being table, being PC, being breathing, ONLY being IS. And the story of being is Being, storying! This Being IS and IT is all there is. Being appearing to NOT be Being is still always and only Being. Being That Too (NOT Two.)

Where is being than during deep sleep? Or is the sleep memory not real?

Experiencing IS. Experiencer is NOT: That division of experience/experiencer is the delusion of mind. Memory is a story arising presently in Aliveness ... Being-Awareness cognizes all including all the stories of past (memory) and the stories of future (imagination) and stories of present (here now me you other experience knowing not knowing all STORY and WHO is the storyteller? WHERE is this 'me' starring in the story of now?)

Awareness is just a word; I can't put a meaning to it. So it does not help to read, that awareness is there, but just no memory of it next morning.

All story! WHO tells THAT story!? WHO ARE YOU? NO Answer! ASK Who Am I? Accept NO definition or identification, not even "I AM AWARENESS." This is what you ARE and cannot be grasped, known or conceived, it is NOT perceivable, NOT imaginable, NOT any thing, not even NO thing (as the mind conceives no thing.)LOOK! The word Awareness is NOT Awareness, any more than the word rock will break your bones! Seeing this is the natural arising of Awareness RE cognizes itself as empty and meaningless, yet the FULLNESS of pure unabashed unalloyed NON-conceptual aliveness. Don't get stuck into a concept! YOU ARE and that is undeniable. YOU ARE NOT an object nor a subject, NOT a label or a name, NOT any thing whatsoever. Looking into the belief in a separate "me" with that name and form with the question, Who Am I? Is a timeless pathless path to the home you never left.

A bunch of questions and yes, I know, most important question: who asks those questions, who wants to know? No who is here, but those questions are, together with changing feelings of importance.

So what? WHO cares what arises as Aliveness bubbles into everything from nothing? Who??? "No one here BUT..." That's an addiction to the story of "me" who will forever argue for its limitations. You are welcome to keep these yes buts, dear One ... or Investigate and be Real.

How can you be so sure? To me there seems nothing to be real, true or provable...

"I" am NOT “sure”. There is NO "I" apart from Other. There is ONLY BEING arising as Awareness, Not Knowing. Prove to yourself: Do you exist? Are you BEING? THAT is all the proof there is. The mind will never grasp or be satisfied. THIS is ORDINARY AWARENESS or the Simplicity of Being ... One-without-a-second.

There is no me, just because I can't find one?

Well? There's your direct evidence of the absence of a separate person!

Take a blind person who can't see the colour red. Does that mean that red not exists, just because it can't be seen by this person?

Stop with all that conceptual  speculation and imagination and stay with what YOU know directly: You DO exist. That is what you truly are ... Existence Itself, Life Itself ... and all else is a story that makes for "the great suffering ego!"

So still questions arise, nothing seems to be knowable anymore, no safety here.

Yes. This is Unknowing Unsafe Free Fall! Being, Aliveness, Absolute Freedom, in that there is No-One to be either secure or insecure.

Maybe there is a me (which I am just to blind to see), maybe not. Maybe the world is real (with all consequences), maybe not. How can you be so sure??

Oneness already said that "I" am NOT sure of anything. Your question is based on the assumption that there is a person here who knows. That's the mind's false premise. There is NO person anywhere. It was all a story, imagination. NOW: WHO does not see this?

The "world" is apparently real, apparently solid. But where is this "real solid world" in deep sleep? It is all imagination. Mind is Being Minding, World-Appearing. Empty, meaningless until "a me" steps in and claims this appearance to be real .... but it's a false assertion devoid of actual evidence when investigated.

Is there anything I missed out?

No: There is something here that seems to keep this Presence hidden: "YOU."

Is there any change that needs to happen (a shift of perspective as it is sometimes called)? Or is this just as good as it gets? ;-)

Look: Who asks? Who wants an answer? Who wants assurances? WHO? Waiting and hoping for some “shift" to happen puts you back into the imagined future ... "someday" "I" will be "Shifted. NO! These are three totally false beliefs: "I," ... "Time," ... "Shift," or "Enlightenment." Never gonna happen dear One. THIS IS IT.

Thank you for listening! I would enjoy any answer - and not take it too seriously, it's just bullshit anyways, isn't it? But that doesn't mean that I would not love to read it!

Stay in touch as Aliveness moves you to ...


24 October 2007

Full Stop!  Yes!   ......  But .....

R.G. Writes, Thank you so much for your detailed answers. ‘I’ seem(s) to be struggling and fighting with your questions and all the while the silent background is probably simply noticing the struggle (but that’s not yet my continuous experience- it’s still ‘reasoning’, at least, partly.

You seek an experience and what is being pointed out is NOT an experience. Those come and go. What is it that NEVER changes?

You ask me: “Who is listening and who is speaking? Ultimately I would say being-awareness is doing both.   

The question is NOT to be answered!!  

And your second question/ pointer: What is it that energizes this seeking for what isn’t here now? Who wants what is not? I’m intrigued by this one. It gives me goose bumps.  

Again NO answer is wanted. ONLY ask that question! It’s unconcealing that One-Eessence, Pure Aliveness. That happening CAN arise as goose bumps. But there is NO litmus test!

Maybe it’s just the same answer as above, but it doesn’t feel that way. My first answer would be: a thought arising now which projects something ‘over there’ and at the same time creating a ‘me’ –wanting ‘that’- at the same time ‘denying’ the changeless background. Am I on the right track here, or full of shit? Another comment would be highly appreciated.  

You are totally OFF track. There is NO answer that matters. ALL answers are bullshit. Look with your inescapable Being-Awareness at that thought, “I.” “Where is this “me,” this “I?” IS there one. The false storyteller ignoramus mind-me asserts, “I am ME!!!” You have worn that mask so long you forgot who you really are WITHOUT the mask! The “person” is a nonexistent phantom idea, a mask (‘persona’.)

I’M ME!!!! Is that TRUE? NO. You see, this question will dismantle the false belief in a separate thing called me, and all that remains is the always so … Being Awareness Livingness and only That…


And another paradox: When I go in to ‘notice the noticing’, to watch ‘ awareness’ I can’t find a ‘me’’, there is just seeing, being, awaring. Full stop.

FULL STOP.  .................... “Yeah BUT” …

But……………. A few seconds later (unnoticed)  a story arises about a ’recently broken relationship ’that “I” need(s) absolutely back and “I “ is back one hundred percent. It hasn’t (so it seems) really really deeply been seen.

There is NO problem with thoughts, feelings, sense of loss, longing. All that is a functioning of a human organism. The problem lies in the identified fixated cast-in-stone BELIEF in a separate entity called “ME who laments this and that about “MY life, MY broken romance, MY career, MY car MY money." My My My!!! WHO!??

WHO AM I? Where is this “me?” Can you find one? NO. All the ideas of I and mine rush back out of habit. Breaking that habit is simple: It takes a committed no-kidding get-to-the-bottom-of-tgis-shit earnestness, a willingness to give up all thoughts and stories and ask WHO AM I?

Now ultimately there is no person who can ask that. Yet as long as YOU believe in this “me-myself-I”  … like a conviction out of long habit, you accept the false assertion of the mind that says "I am the manager and director of 'my life,’ the doer of actions, the thinker of thoughts, the feeler the knower the experiencer" … NOW: PUT that “doer” to the task of doing this One Thought. WHO AM I? WHO am I?

Mind you the simplest and ultimately final approach to the free fall is the simple recognition that you cannot escape ALIVENESS. You ARE That Alive Presence of Being-Awareness and none other than That.

Please doctor, finish him off and do it gently and patiently and slowly and now. I may not totally understand what I’m typing here… 

Finish WHO off? YOU will NEVER be "finished off!!

Saty in touch as Aliveness Moves "you."



23 October 2007
The Carrot-On-A-Stick is Only a
Story growing out of Your Own Head

First of all I’d like to thank you for your great contribution to the Advaita material.

You are most welcome. And, really … It is … nothing! De nada. LOL …

I downloaded your books and I’ve been listening to/ watching you a lot (YouTube etc.) I must be a tough case!

WHO?? Who is listening and who is speaking? Telling that story of "I" and "Other" and “me being a tough case” will NEVER take “you” beyond that story, dear boy!  You are already beyond all that. Just let your focus shift to the ever-present changeless background of empty awareness which that story arises within.

I bought John Wheeler’s (4) and Stephen Wingate’s  (2) books as well, and of course I keep reading all the postings of Annette Nibley.

Great. You’re in good hands.

When I listened to “The Bottom Line (Youtube) you were talking about a cd from Stephen Wingate. Could you tell me to which title you were referring? (a carrot dangling before the donkey’s nose?-I seem to be searching for a future goal here…)

That CD was (if I recall correctly) "Stay With I Am.” It's a very good set of pointers from No-One to No-Where! But: Now look: You are seeing clearly in that instant outside of ‘time’  that the carrot on the stick ("both" of which are growing out of your head as a thought-feeling story of ‘me’) is still being chased.

By who?? What is it that energizes this seeking for what isn't here now? Who wants what is NOT?

Probably I’ll purchase them all one day, but as for now I’d be very happy with this one. Thanks again for your great work. It is such a gift that all this incredibly beautiful stuff is available on the internet. I really loved “The search ends here…” I keep listening to this one again and again.

That’s fine … you CAN just keep taking the antivirus. The virus is a belief in a separate “me.” The antivirus is the looking directly at that belief from your ever-fresh naked awareness … Being-Aliveness … to see if this story of a “me-entity” is actually TRUE  … or not!

OR you can stop and see right now: You ARE. Being is what you are. You are nothing but That. Full Stop!


22 October 2007
Form Is Emptiness - Emptiness Is Form. Not Two ...
Follow-up from A.J. - Thank you Charlie for the powerfull answer  to my question! As long as there's been Life here I've never (on investgation) discovered any 'me' or substantial 'entity' at the steeringwheel. There is truely no-one here. That has always and ever been the case. From early childhood on this one burning question has been on my mind: 'What the xxx is going on???' Eventually I learned that NOTHING IS GOING ON OR HAPPENING. There is just BOUNDLESS-INFINITE-SPACE-LIKE-MYSTERY wherein a lot appears to happen. A lifestory is apparently happening including everything that goes with it. The elusiveness of it all is utterly obvious. My true condition is a non-position. As our common friend Tony Parsons puts it, I AM "Nothing being everything".
The buddha says in the heart-sutra: 'Emptiness is Form, Form is Emptiness'. Those words are the core of Buddhism. It is the description of Dharmakaya. It is: THIS IS IT ! It is the ineffable put into sound.
YUP. And THAT is THAT. You. Or ... Love.
Love Says ......  Hello, Love!

October 2007
Understanding This is NOT Being This

On purchase of a book from our website, this message was sent to D.Z: Thanks for your support of the message ... from Oneness to Oneness. If you'd like to ask a question or make a comment please do.

D.Z. Responds, Very nice feeling to receive an 'out of the blue' note from you.

Thanks. It’s a pleasure! There is great Love here for all that is, and it’s a great pleasure to be used by Oneness to share the great good news of the end of suffering in True-Nature …  Endless Beginninglessness … arising AS Peaceful Being. The silent ever-fresh Aliveness that is deliciously inescapably (fortunately!)

I've been recently taken (not really taken but moved) off of the habitual fixations a bit by what I've been reading, seeing, and hearing on the Internet lately. 

Now, right now, have a look: Where IS this “I” that says, “I’ve” been moved, or “I’ve” reading, seeing, hearing etc? WHERE? Is there such a separate actual solid “Thing” called “I” that is DOING or NOT DOING all that? There IS Seeing. The “I See” is Ignorance (ignoring Being-Awareness ... paradoxically, arising AS Aliveness-Seeing-Hearing, Being-Moved “Being-Fixated “ etc.)

Specifically that group of people who have shared in Nisargadatta's realization and now are encouraging and sharing with others.  You seem to be one of them.  It's been a long time brewing but the possibility of a present tense clearing into the present is now somewhat apparent.

Yep. That’s what’s apparently (!) happening as Oneness moves Two into One itself, so to say (the word ain’t the actual, you know… AND let’s look hard at this now: That’s all a story. Too many words, all a story. Look for the storyteller, a believer that believes “I’m ME” and “I” am a person and there appears a “person” “over there” and there appears a possibility (false future!) and there “IS” a “Present Tense” (THAT’s Tense!) … Etc ad infintum. It’s all a story and what YOU are has never been a story. Being IS. You are THAT… Timeless being. ALL else is the bullshit story a mind tells itself and believes, to maintain survival of itself as a separate usually suffering “entity.”

I was in a [xxx] group for a few years, just quit that two months ago (ideology is definitely stuck in "becoming") and began an insight meditation course.  All along and for some time preceding any 'involvement" in things (I cringe at the word still) spiritual, I was really touched by I Am That, Jean Klein, and a few others who communicated a direct realization. I am now meeting for sittings with XXXX  [a meditation group]) It's a bit of a quandary for me. 

It will ALWAYS be a quandary for a “me.” “Me” is “mind.” Mind is Time, distance, and “I” … all concepts, all thoughts ("mentation” and feelings (“experience.” ALL that is conceptual and NOT the simple Awareness of Direct Inescapable BEING. As some call this … Ordinary Awareness. I call that ALIVENESS with no experiencer and no knower and most certainly no personal practitioner of any practice. If there is a belief in a practicer then practices may happen, BUT NO practice will ever “take you home.” You are ALREADY HOME! What is it that refuses to SEE this simplicity? An appearance of a thought “I” taken as the egoic entity, believed in until death does it cut asunder!

I feel that the direct seeing (that which I've spent so much of my life and basically all of my energy thwarting) is the real deal. 

Okay, the “real deal” for who?? WHOSE “life? WHOSE “Energy?” And WHO “feels?” WHO “thwarted?” “direct seeing? WHO? Or WHAT? Is DOING all that seeming action? WHO are YOU? Where is that “person?  Until now it seems that there is no investigation into this identity happening. That can however arise NOW. (Only Now.)

What NEVER changes? What is always here, presencing as Awareness Itself? Before the mind, before seeing, before hearing before “me’ and “other?” Before I and World IS, YOU are. Seeing this requires neither time nor practice. It’s Being Itself AS Itself … inescapable and unimaginable!

The direct SEEING is not a concept and not an experience! It’s deeply and presently known by all sentient “beings” that ALL there is, is Aliveness, and right now that Aliveness is loving to be this apparent person here and apparent person there, telling a story about “real deals” and “fake deals.” This is simple: IT’S ALL Bullshit! LOL! Love loves to bullshit itself. Have you noticed??

At the same time, I hear almost the exact same understanding from  (the "teacher" at xxxx)…

Understanding is the BOOBY PRIZE. The mind comprehends yet suffering continues. Look into this! Understanding is eating the menu (concepts and experiences) instead of Being the Meal (Being-Awareness Aliveness just THAT. Eventually these “false prophets (who seem to make great profits!) must be dropped into the Abyss of Unknowing Choicleless Awareness … right along with … “you” … you as a seemingly separated-from-the-whole mind-thinker-feeler-knower.

… except he does place value on a progressive development.  "They" seem to believe (in the classical Buddhist way) that the skill of focused and sustained attention requires significant time and effort to develop.  At the same time, it seems they recognize that once the tool is sharpened, the liberating seeing is instantaneous, or outside of time maybe. 

WHO “places value? Who is playing guru and who is playing disciple?? That is the Dualistic Ignoring of the BRUTE Fact that YOU as EXISTENCE AS I AM. ThatI AM  is the REAL (NOT the thought I Am, the NON-conceptual A Priori Apperception of nothing being everything  … That I Am. All the rest is pure crap, conceptual nonsense, the blind leading the blind! There are NO tools, no sharpening, no path, no attainment, no attainer, no liberation, no wakening, no true and no false. ALL there is, is Aliveness, appearing from nowhere as all that is. Full stop!

I'm wondering about all of this. 

Ponder all that white noise above and stay in touch. Call if you like or e-mail your number and I’ll call you on my Free LD service.

With Gratitude…

Yes, there is great gratitude here for the appearance of Oneness arising as John Wheeler, Bob Adamson et al. You are THIS … Aliveness, Being Awareness and arising as everything out of nothing. Don’t accept any idea of “me/other. Seeing directly ends suffering right now, but RIGHT NOW.

Love Ya!


22 October 2007


Does Awareness Care? WHO cares?


AJ writes, While watching one of your videos I heard you say: 'I am interested in ending your suffering'. This kind of struck me and so the following question arose: Does Awareness care???Who cares???Is it nonconditional Love with a capital L that cares????Who's the one that's interested??? Would you please elaborate on this. Lots of Love and a warm hug from a Dutch friend!!!!


This is an excellent question!


This caring "happens." Nobody cares: This is the happening of  nobody caring. Through some organisms there is apparent caring or empathy i.e. Mother Teresa or "sailor" Bob Adamson or John Wheeler or Stephen Wingate. Through some organisms there is NO apparent caring, NO empathy... i.e. Saddam Hussein or Charles Manson ... OR even some VERY direct no-bull Nonduality "teachers" (Wayne Liquorman comes to mind, no disrespect, just how it appears "here.") But LOOK! On investigation it is seen ... there is no "person," no "entity" DOING or CREATING this naturally arising "caring."


So when the expression comes out, regarding a caring about ending your suffering, that is simply Oneness, appearing as This and Being That Caring. There is nobody caring, and THIS is what "nobody caring" looks like ....!


"Who is the 'one' that is 'interested'?" No-One is interested. There is nothing and no-one caring about anything. THIS is what "no-one and nothing caring about anything" looks like! You see, the mind-brain machinery thinks of love as the opposite of hate. And it thinks of caring as a person caring, offering some pity or feeling-sorry-for. That is all bullshit. This LOVE (as you say with a Cap L) simply IS. This Love, I call Aliveness (ALL LIVE-NESS), Isness, Being-Awareness, or Deliciously Inescapable Choiceless Cluelessness, or .... "Marmalade!"


Call it whatever, "it" (words! "IT is not a thing, the words is a lie!... but words are what is happening here, so .....) "IT" (Livingness-Beingness)  IS, and "IT" stands alone as Nothing and Everything. Aliveness equally loves BEING both love and hate, both war and peace, both caring and not caring, both Saddam and Teresa, ALL the "pairs of opposites." Being-Aliveness-Lovingness (Sat Chit Ananda) has NO Opposite expect in the story of "me and other-than-me." THIS is a dear friend, Tony Parsons, puts it, "Nothing Being Everything."


THIS Being-Aliveness is "IT." NOW: Where is any exclusion OR inclusion in THAT!??

Thanks for a really great question. It appears in the dream-story that lots of "seekers-on-the-edge" have been stuck in that one. And lots of love and a warm hug right back at-cha! Before All, During All, and After all, You ARE That Love. So Love says hello to Love and Love asks a question and Love answers a question. There is Only Love ... Being all of This ... Totality. 


Aliveness. Only That.



20 October 2007
Follow-up from R.H., who offers these ...
A "pseudo sense" of
Self-existence arises
With relative thought.
Question this "pseudo
Sense" of relative being
And see if it's real.
Find this pseudo sense
Of self-existent being
You now think you are.
"Who I think I am"
Is a pseudo sense of self
Thought into being.
Enlightenment is
Realizing "I as I think
I am" don't exist.
Still and Always I Am...
BANG On. Welcome to The Home You Never Left!

20 October 2007
"I want" IS the split-mind of a seeker... I/Other.
A Priori Awareness ... I AM ... is Real and never missing.
"I want" changes constantly. I AM is Unchanging Being. Absolute Freedom Being Effortless Living. This ... Alone ... IS. Always forever not now not here Shining Naked Presence ... prior to the "thought" i am.
When Tthat is appercieved  ...  by no-one the seeker dies into .... THIS.

20 October 2007
Who is the "believer?"
What is it that "believes" anything to be true or not? Inquire!
A note arrived today in a publicly posted (no copyright)  newsletter that is kind of worth sharing ... it says,
I am periodically taken to task for not having a teaching style more like some of my preceptors - most notably, Nisargadatta Maharaj. Maharaj was famous for speaking from the standpoint of the Absolute. He would say things such as, "I was never born and I will never die" and "I am awake even when I am asleep." Such assertively non-dual statements sometimes had the effect of shocking his listeners into a profound, transcendent Seeing.

I am sympathetic to this approach but I have rarely been comfortable using it. I feel much more at home when I am meeting my listeners where THEY are...most of them believing that they were born and will die and that they are asleep while asleep.  From this point of "obvious" truth we can then proceed to examine the more profound, underlying nature of this "one" who lives and dies and sleeps.

No one can deny that there is EXISTENCE here. The nature of that EXISTENCE can (and has been) debated endlessly. But this EXISTENCE is self-proving. It is not a philosophical debating point but a self-affirming Truth. It is here at the center when you pull off the onion-like layers of your apparent self - the self that lives and dies and sleeps and wakes.

We are the victims of our beliefs. When you "believe" the pointers of a teacher such as Maharaj the inevitable result is a kind of nihilism in which all that is apparent (including yourself) is denied as meaningless and illusory. When you believe the pointers of a teacher such as myself the inevitable result is the sense of having a progressively deeper and truer knowledge about the nature of Existence.

So pick your poison. With a little luck...either one will kill "you."

Yes ... this is somewhat how the Obviousness of Being-Awareness ... Existence As-At-Is ... gets pointed out here. Except that HERE there is NO belief in a teacher or a student.
Now, looking from this Naked-Being-Awareness into what APPEARS to be, WHERE is any "believer" who now "believes" a pointer? The Truth, believed, becomes a LIE ... it's the false "entity called me" that is required first, before any other concept can be "taken on faith."
Let's just point to the Absolute Pardox in this.
1. I AM is Self-Knowing Existence- Awareness.
2. WHO (or WHAT) AM "I?" Nothing but That.
   Suffering abides in "I believe in beliefs and believers."
   Freedom IS ... IS, Being,  free of beliefes and believers.
        FULL STOP.

19 October 2007


Understanding This is NOT Being This


JJ Writes, This has been a dilemma that has been arising lately. I want this experience of samadhi, but then the "I" that wants that experience is not me, and does not even really exist, right?


This is the “guru-mind” of a seeker, trying to figure this out. You will NEVER figure out No Thing! That, what you are, IS No Thing being Every Thing and all life is the happening of Oneness arising as a dreamer dreaming that he’s separate and real, ranging wildly between nothing and everything and trying to land on some imagined blissful state of being a "free man" or "free woman" in the middle of that. But that which wants freedom is a phantom non-person, the idea (idea ONLY) of a “me,” arising IN Boundless Clueless Freedom Itself.


 It is just a mental formation labeling itself as me.   So there is oneness arising as wanting to have samadhi, so what?   That is what is. 


YES. BUT … understanding this is not BEING this!


Does this desire ever get satisfied? 


NO. NO desire can ever be completely and ultimately satisfied! The “samadhi” experience is just that … a passing mind-fancy, an experience arising in Being. The mind IS "time," "me," and "desires"... attachment and aversion, the wanting of this and not that. The mind will NEVER “know Oneness.” What is called “samadhi” is the ABSENCE of the seeking-mind. This Absence is what IS … The Always So. You can point to That this way: What appears to be what is, is NOT. What appears as what is not, IS. Ponder that one.

What wants anything?  Something that is temporary, something that comes and goes does the wanting.  But nonetheless this desire arises.  It also just goes away when I stop resisting it.   Well it doesn't always go away quickly, and it tends to come back.  


Re-read the response in the paragraph above that one.


Help me Charlie.


Help WHO? There is no-one to help and no one to help that no-one! WHO “needs help?”


I want to experience samadhi.   I want to feel the experience of oneness with everything.   I want to know for myself that everything all these advaitins are saying is really true.   I already have a feeling that it is, but there are still doubts. Thanks, you always help me just because...


There IS NO TRUTH! There are NO “advaitans!”  That is to turn nondual pointing to what is into a new "advaita religion!" LOOK! There is ONLY THIS, apparently happening presently. There are no REAL “individual persons” anywhere, not here not there not anywhere. All that is a story, the “tale told by an idiot, filled with sound and fury, signifying … nothing.”


I want I want I want I want I want! WHO wants? WHO “wants to know for myself?” WHO asks the question? WHO whines and complains? The mind is an ill-tempered three-year-old brat! See this now. Ask WHO? DO the inquiry, so long as you believe in you! ASK that mind: Who ARE You? Ask your “self,” Who Am I? WHO AM I? Abandon all thoughts but the one: WHO AM I? As thoughts arise, ask, WHO thinks this? WHO AM I? As feelings arise, ask Who feels? WHO AM I? As long as there is a thinker, feeler, "doer," ASK that ONE thought-query: WHO AM I?


… and that really means a lot.  Few would take their time out to do what you do.  (Or don't do.)  I really appreciate it.


All this is happening without agenda, with no forethought, all spontaneously arising presently, no one doing asking, no one doing answering, no doer … the IDEA of a separate doer-entity is patently false; this is seen by no-one when there is the arising of an investigation into this supposed separate entity vial Oneness Asking Itself  ... WHO AM I?


That is ALL.


And Only Nothing Being This appearing manifestation … every damn blessed thing! Actually IS. THIS is the Unconditional Presence of Absolute Freedom in Absolute LOVE. Full Stop.



19 October 2007
There IS NO "WAY"
Follow-up From R.H. – Thanks for Wednesday night... [our conference call - 'global satsang'] your actions are "selfless and inspiring" (though I know you don't intend to be). [But] A question occurred to me after one of your responses last night (one I thought best to address "one on one")…
Everything that happens here is freely shared. Here, there is nothing to hide, nor any “person” who would care to hide anything. Only a fake would need to be “careful.”
R.H. goes on to ask, Does the "my way or the highway non-dual" approach you seemingly take mean there is "no other way" to realize the illusion of being a separate individual?
What!?? WHERE did THAT interpretation come from? At least you said “seemingly.” But look … you are just NOT hearing what’s being said. You are being a belief in a "personal entity" listening to another apparent person, which is just another cherished unexamined belief! … that is exactly what the mind does ... IT “knows” itself as a person and projects out that same idea of personhood on an empty mirror. You are looking at your own reflection of an ignorant mind-story … this story-teller who loves to tell his various “war stories” and his “being an enlightened person” stories writing ego-enlightenment poetry! … an “I” apart from the whole (impossible!) who challenges any pure nonconceptual expression of the one-essence …
There is no “my way” or any OTHER “way.” All that happens, spontaneously and with ZERO forethought, is an expression arising in response (seemingly!) to an energy of aliveness appearing as questions and sharing. One to One. I AM to I AM.
You miss the splendor of what’s pointed to in evaluating or comparing things … this way or that - that way or this, how many times have you heard that there is NO WAY? Yet the ignorance persists ... but for WHO?
What is happening here is the mind – which IS unbalanced nutzoid ignorance – running after a parsed out few words from an 80 minute conversation and IGNORING the essence of this sharing. All that is being said is YOU look for yourself. And if these pointers or the expressing organism through which words are sounding doesn’t resonate, then go on looking until you find one that does. There is no caring either way here. Notice that no donation is requested. Nothing is pushed on anyone. All there is here is the uncontrived clueless expressing happening. If you want to argue concepts and “paths” you are barking up the wrong tree!
… or is the relentless pointing back to THAT merely a means of keeping the "One you are addressing" from begging the question and bailing out down another conceptual rabbit trail?
That’s another story! You are NOT looking at this head on – these concepts are your prison of mind. But no matter, never mind. It is what’s so. But that is also, So What?
There is NO investment here in “making anyone get this.” There is no "my way." There is simply pointing out what has worked over eons to free the true nature of NON-conceptual Unbounded Self-Awareness from its cage of concepts. The talking comes from the Absolute Freedom of Oneness and addresses Oneness Itself AS Itself. No other is here nor there. What IS is I
AM. Not Two! Full stop.
You’ll NEVER get this. You ARE this. Your conceptualizing and trying endlessly to get to some “truth” keeps you on the wheel. Well, Okay. .. So what? That’s what is happening. Oneness pretends to be separate from the whole. That's Oneness playing that game! WHO cares?
If you care, you’re screwed. There It Is ... Always Only Unconditional Ruthless Loving BEI NG, RAW and ALIVE NOW. Take it or leave it. There’s no-one to care! Notice that the mind likes or hates what is being communicated in this e-mail. Notice! You are the noticing consciousness, awareness itself. ALL else is bullshit.
Finally you write,
Fixated on Form
I overlook the Space-Like
Nature of Being.
There it is ... that ignorance in plain sight! "I" overlook."
This idea of a "me" "overlooking Being" is simply an appearance IN Being AS Being ... Oneness apparently dreaming it is split apart in two-ness. But it is simply nothing being everything being nothing being ...... ad infinitum. You can say, perhaps, "overlooking Being happens, apparently." But there is NO "person" called "I" DOING THAT.
WHO overlooks? Space like Being IS and cannot ever be overlooked. It's INESCAPABLE. TRY to NOT BE! How's THAT going?
You are telling a bullshit story to yourself and misleading yourself and anyone else who happens to see that false ego-posturing. Whoa!! WHO doesn't see this, or hear this? WHO?
And WHO doesn't like that pointer? You take your enlightened self SO damn seriously. Ah well. That's what's so. So what? There is ONLY TOTAL LOVE here for that little "you" in any case. 'Cuz YOU ARE Oneness. Gotta LOVE THAT. Naturally. Eternally.
There IS NO I apart from Oneness. You (the mind) separate Oneness with the ignorant dividing-mind. This is the infamous enlightened ego! Get off that ... but of course, "you" cannot do that, because ... TADA!! There ain't no such thing as "you" apart from All That Is.
R.H. Responds: Full Stop!
And there is Only Always Love.
now air is air and thing is thing: no bliss
of heavenly earth beguiles our spirits,
whose miraculously disenchanted eyes
live the magnificent honesty of space
mountains are mountains now; skies now are skies
and such a sharpening freedom lifts our blood
as if whole supreme this complete doubtless
universe we'd(and we alone had) made-yes;
or as if our souls, awakened from summer's green trance,
would not adventure soon a deeper magic:
that white sleep wherein all human curiosity we'll spend
(gladly,as lovers must)immortal
and the courage to receive time's mightiest dream
- e.e. cummings

18 October 2007
A Follow-up from G.H.
Charlie, It was a gas talking to you and the others on the conference call Wednesday night. ( I ) have been led to ( you ) by the great mystery, and am filled with gratitude. Your friend, G.H.
ONEderful! :-)

16 October 2007


The Mind Has Endless Questions. WHO ASKS them?


Follow-up from G.H. The questions keep coming up. Seeking continues. Once the body mind is no more (death) how is Presence realized?

Awareness-Presence IS. THAT is NEVER either "Realized" or "Unrealized."


There is still strong identification with this body mind and not the Presence awareness behind it.


IS there? What a sad sad story!!! WHO is this that stubbornly and egotistically SAYS SO!??


How does the shift happen?


If you are waiting for some "shift to happen" you are gonna freakin' wait FOREVER, my dear "person." LOOK: Consciousness, the knowing of Awareness arising as "I AM" before the thought "i am," is not there in either deep sleep or "death." Awareness-Presence is Unborn and deathless. Be That (easy, as you already are That.)

WHO asks HOW? LOOK. WHO asks the questions? Give up all your questions except this one: WHO AM I?

In the sage words of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi: "The thought 'Who am I?' will destroy all other thoughts, and like the stick used for stirring the burning pyre, it will itself in the end get destroyed. Then, there will arise Self-Realization." There is a lovely paradox in all this: While there is in Truth no such thing as a separate “I’ and you already ARE what you seek, as long as there is the false BELIEF in a “me, myself, I” then this investigation is clearly called for.


So long as you believe there is a doer, just do that. (Go HERE for more on this.)


15 October 2007


My Empathy is destroying me


Q: I am a 45-year-old male living in Hobart Tasmania, Australia. I think I may have actually met the sailor your site mentions many years ago. I have traveled Asia quite a bit and have deep contacts with Theravada Buddhism. The basic trouble is my empathy is destroying me. I have seen way too much suffering over the years. Far more than most. e.g. Cambodia as a community volunteer.  If we all turned our minds away these horrific things will continue.


This is focus on a story of Me/Other-Than-Me and that story is a big sad suffering one. LOOK: What or WHO is the "storyteller?" Who says this dream, this appearing world, is horrible or wonderful!?? Only a subject-me called (your name).) And that person is a phantom.


You are awake, aware, living, that is inescapable. This Awareness is always "on" and THAT is what you actually ARE. Focus on THAT ... the pure knowing-sense " I AM" ... and drop all the rest. You are NOT the story, NOT the I telling that story, NOT THAT NOT THAT NOT THAT.


Please tell me I am wrong. LOL


Okay. You're wrong. What good does that do? LOOK and see if you can find this "me" that is "empathic" or anything ELSE apart from Awareness Itself.


I too have found simple temporary release from drugs in the past and now it is alcohol (manageable) as it is the only way to make life bearable for me. Life is dysphonic if you know what I mean. 

I am NOT a doctor or a psychiatrist or psychologist. Get hold of a medical professional for help with these depression, anxieties and restless feelings that you use a fancy word for. These pointers are simplicity itself: Notice you are aware and present, always. That never changes. Then look to see what and where this "poor me" actually IS. Find out directly by LOOKING, see if this "me" is actually a solid separate entity that chooses, suffers, has pain and pleasure experiences etc.

Best to you... look these ways and stay in touch if you like.


14 October, 2007 ... from Springfield MO 


This Is It: OK, What IS "This?"    


Hi there! Here I find this bodymind in Springfield, Missouri, hanging out with my beloved friend Kali and a couple of dozen of her dear friends, people who are presently (seemingly) uncovering their True Nature (which of course no one ever left!), and LO and BEHOLD! There is WiFi in this Yoga Center where we are all hanging out talking about Nothing. So even while the body-mind-world is appearing to be traveling these e-mails are getting answered by no one! Anyway .... LOL ..... 


G.H. Writes, Charlie, I just watched part 4 of your  "This is it video" [on YouTube, HERE] ... again. I appreciate and agree with everything you're saying.


Please don’t agree or disagree. This idea of a person agreeing with another person is the ignorance of the mind … an alive energy that appears to divide up the whole, that splits the ever-fresh Totality of Everything into the appearing “pairs of opposites” ...  Me/other, agree/disagree. Body/world and so on ad infinitum. But only APPARENTLY! 


I guess the main thing that keeps me questioning is I know "This is it" my question is "What is this?" We seemingly come out of nothingness against astronomical odds.


WHO!?? Where is this WE?


We go through this life trip with all of it's experiences, pain, joy, elation, despair, and then check back into the nothingness once again at the end of our earth trip, never to be heard from again.


What says all these words? Where is the ventriloquist talking through that G.H. puppet figure appearing IN Nothingness Itself?


"What is ‘this’?"


NOT any experience. Not any concept. Not even nothingness … the I - the ignorant me-mind thought that ignores that Awareness it arises in - turns nothing into a something “it” calls “nothing” that “it owns.” In THIS there is NO experience, NO experiencer. ALL there “IS” is, this Noticing Seeing Presence-Awareness, the clueless knowingness of non-conceptual Being.


Mankind wants more…


Where is “mankind?” Only is a story, imagination appearing presently!


I want more.


THAT is suffering!


All I really know is that I'm here right now.




Once my brain, mind has turned to dust, where am I? Nowhere.


Where is that “I’ now? On direct LOOKING, into this idea OF “ME,” THIS THOUGHT  of an “I?” from Naked Awareness (your true Being-Nature) … where is this I”?”


Can it be seen that this “I” is ALREADY “nowhere?” right NOW? And right NOW!? Right in this seeing the search for more or different or better stuff (concepts, experiences etc.) just ends. Before NOW, YOU ARE. THIS … Awareness Being THIS,.


All of the religions give us "HOPE" heaven, reincarnation, whatever.... from what I can tell, these are only ideas, beliefs, thoughts...not reality. Not "this"


Hope is icing on a turd! 


I used to think that once I shuffled off the mortal coil, I would be given the answers. I know now that that was just more wishful thinking. I can't say that it worries me, this date with nothing... but the question still remains..."What is this"?  Respectfully, G.H.


Okay after all is said and done, this is a great sort of "Final Questions." Comes up at the edge of the cliff!


Now, the first pointer you can look into is:


What asks this question? Who or what is the questioner? Where is that “one?” Is there any such thing as a question without a questioner? Where!??


THIS. What IS This? THIS. Just what IS, AS it IS. That is to say, NOTHING appearing as EVERYTHING.


Being IS. You know this: YOU ARE:


Isness IS, Izzing! That's THIS.


Silence IS THIS. Noise IS THIS. Nothing IS THIS. Everything IS THIS.


Word is NOT what word POINTS TO.


Everything Being Nothing.


THIS can NOT be grasped and owned by the "mind" (which is only a THOUGHT appearing in THIS.)




Beyond word, before concept, being whatever appears and disappears and Being Space-Like, Empty-Fullness


All words!




IT IS. Yet IT ... THIS... What YOU ARE...


           Cannot Be Expressed, described, or known.


THIS. Clueless Mysterious Awareness Just THIS.



Always Only Love,




12 October 2007
Seekers Chasing Carrots On A Stick
It's quite sad in a way. I was watching a so called adaita teacher on the internet this evening, and the discussion went  on about awakening, liberation, enlightenment, deliverance and all those sorts of utterly ridiculous "myths of the seeking mind."
Let's get real and cut through these carrot-on-a-stck stories! This stuff just keeps the seeker chasing a conceptual, imaginary "attainment" and despite being certain of the true nature of Being ... this inescapable knowing preswence, which we label I AM ... there is still this foolish chasing after some state that some "teacher" experienced 15 years ago and whp now calls that experience "enlightenment."
This Being is already what you are, ever-present and real, 24/7! Any experince is Not it. Period!
Awakening, Deliverance, Enlightenment ... It's a load of crap, and if you buy that load, I got a bridge over the East River I wanna sell ya.
Just see all these concepts as false carrots on a phony teacher's stick, forget going to endless meetings and forking over your cash to "keep the talks alive" ... save your cash for a few beers and some Pizza!
Yes, all that is also Oneness, Onenessing! But some fakes are fakier than others. Watch your step in these conceptual spiritual inefields. If you must buy a book or go to a meeting get Stephen Wingate's book and check out his meetings. The authentic pointers are VERY refreshing!
I will be traveling for a few days, so if your e-mail isn't answered right away hang in, I'll catch up with you next week. Meanwhile give Stephen's site a good look.
Love you all,

11 October 2007

Maybe This Bodymind Is Right Where It Needs To Be

S.A. Writes, I greatly enjoyed the conference call. I hope I wasn't too disruptive! If you can't have fun with total freedom, what good is it? It's always interesting to me because we have to use dualistic speech to try and communicate non-dualism. I have great empathy for you and those who teach because of this. Now before you chide me for using "I" three times let me state that I know Santa Claus isn't real but I can still use the word. Using "I" in language is much easier than stating 'this mind/body thing' every time a self refer once is made. LOL

Oh ABSOLUTELY. It is only in a meeting and QandA context that I get after people who are still using personal pronouns in a suffering sense of being a separate entity!

Hell, Charlie, maybe this mind/body thing is right where it should be.

It’s right where it IS, so to say … . “Should” implies better/worse, right/wrong and even more difficult to see, “should” implies some controlling force or entity  (‘me’ or ‘God’) “somewhere not here” that is pulling strings or wanting to. On investigation none such can be found. And another aspect of that is a belief that there “IS” “Time.” That’s a LOL matter of nattering nonsense!

But on closer looking, IS there an “it,” a “bodymind,” at all, apart from a story, a thought-feeling storm with a mouth? IS there any such THING as IS?

Or is there only What IS … Presence-Awareness, Nothing being everything … an exploding imploding Aliveness and Just That!

Have a look and LOL!

Don't know. Life is pretty good and seemingly getting better. Regardless, I would look forward to meeting you. 

Living Peace, effortless living, uncaused joy! This is The Natural State. Home … the Home You never left. Life itself livingness dyingness all arising in THIS. Yee ha!

I look forward to getting together. As soon as the schedule firms up I’ll e-mail and set something up… 

And, I loved your expression on the conference call!


10 October 2007

The Mind's Arguments against This

RZ Follow-up: The mind's argument is; what if the space like awareness is just part of the brain, that all of this is just brain waves with no real expanse behind it. It is all chemical and electrical reactions. The quiet knowing awareness is just your brain without thought. There is no great anything, just monkeys with brains that got too big. You sleep and your mind is in a quiet area, you wake and the reaction just begins. I know a pretty sad view, but it seems the mind keeps asking this question, and I have no answer. I hope I have articulated my question well; it is hard to put into words. 

Rather than speculate about brain body ape etc stay ONLY with what you can actually experience directly: That you exist is beyond speculation but what you are is always only imagination or speculation.

Do you exist? You are and you know that you are.

That’s all there is to know.

ALL else is bullshit.

There is NO answer that is not more bullshit story.

I suggested that you call or that I can call you. Strongly suggested. What is the mechanism that avoids this? You as a lie of mind, a conceptual ego-center that does not want to be exposed as empty and naked.

The answer is not where you are looking. The answer is not in the mind.

I will not answer questions that are coming out of a false assumption or a storytelling ego.


I love you. And Love, the Compassion of Oneness, is ruthless.


09 October 2007
Isn't There A Need To Share Self-Knowledge?
JM Writes, How could you know, if there is no you? IT MUST BE LOVE ACTING THROUGH "YOU."
That's as good a way to say nothing in words as any. Nice.
... A need to share SELF knowledge
Not quite. There is no NEED ... only a doer-less spontaneous activity of "sharing.
... there is a song that says; "if it makes you happy it can't be that bad"
Beyond good and bad, beyond happy and sad, before God Is, before Love is, YOU ARE.
All the best to you.
And "you."

Always Only Love,

From I AM to I AM


08 October 2007
You realize Control Is An Illusion
Follow-up from JT: Thanks for being patient with these questions. 
"Believe me"... that is not "me" ... NOT "charlie!"  The "Charlie" thingie was a LONG way fom 'patient.' But Oneness Itself IS being compassion-consciousness patience-accepting lovingness!
Yes, you're absolutely right.  When you see the futility of trying to control anything, even for a measly ten minutes, you realize control is an illusion, a false concept taught to us by our parents and society.  And if the "I" is nothing more than a passing thought, then there's no one to hold the reins anyway.
And there it is. Seeing with naked Awareness! Full Stop.
But of course that's not "right" ... there is NO "right/wrong," that;s the disease of the mnd.
So as you are direclty seeng from/in Naked Awraeness . .. It just .... IS!
This simple exercise in looking took me to a place where there are no more questions.  Even if the questions arise again, I can't imagine taking them seriously anymore.  What a relief!  
YEAH! THIS is the Peace that surpasses understanding

Always Only Love!



8 October 2007


Awareness Is NOT A Belief


There is a notion circulating that when you believe you are a separate “person” you suffer, but when you believe that awareness is real you don’t suffer.




Seriously, you must reject this notion. All suffering comes from believing the thought of an "I" or "me" to be real, separate and solid, apart from Totality. When that shows up as a believer, there will ensue suffering. Count on that!


The suggestion is to believe in presence awareness because that is being seen right in front of you. But what is this "you" that would believe? What is right here always before, during, and after any thoughts arise and subside? Self-knowing Being-Awareness, just That. And that is NOT a belief. It’s what IS … nondual, Oneness, and That is not a belief, nor is there any “believer” in That!

A clear pointing from One to One will never suggest that anything be "believed!"  Especially believing in a "thing" called pure conscious being or awareness or being! That dualizes the clear NON-conceptual seeing! It’s subtle ignorance at play … look out! Suffering will follow that belief as the believer is a false mental construct and not the actual NON-conceptual Awareness ... Nondual Being itself. The mind tries to objectivise the non-conceptual formless timeless Being ... But that is YOU, Being, and as That, there is no conceptual structure of believer and believed. It's only in a thought-story that believing and a believe-ER can happen. Imagination.


Looking into the space from the space, I just cannot find a "believer." Can you?


           All that is found is Naked Aliveness, sans belief/believer/believing process...


That is why I always say, "don't believe anything, look and see what you see in the nonconceptual silent Space when you ask, "do I exist?" That Silence is a Knowing "YES" and that is NOT a belief... nor is there a believer ... it's all NON conceptual in This as-it-is Aliveness.


The truth believed is a lie. This is certain here. Not "right!" Just ... certain, here. For no one.


All of the above said, the bottom line is, don't believe anything. Seen "in front of you" (where is this "you?") or not, pointless viewless Awareness-Presence there is no believer, not here nor anywhere else and True Being simply will NOT mislead a seeker into believing in a believer ... which would HAVE to be a subject "you" believing an object "awareness" ... and THAT is patently false.


Believing in Awareness?


This is absolutely false, it's ignorance masking as wisdom.


Full stop! 


"It's an illusion that 'you' exist--the entity 'you' is imagined. The imagination that 'you' exist as something or someone separate is the cause of acceptance or rejection of something known. It is illusion telling the story of its own deception. The knower and the known are just concepts seemingly dividing natural non-conceptual knowing."

-"Sailor" Bob Adamson


(And the same is true regarding believing and believed.)


7 October 2007


The Believed-in "Me" Feels Insecure and Wants To Take Control


JT writes a follow-up: Some years ago, I read a book by Krishnamurti.  In the book, Krishnamurti said that the "I" is nothing more than a thought.  It was the most radical thing I'd ever read, but I couldn't argue with the logic, the simple truth of that statement. 


That’s bang on! This thought “I” appears and then in the insecurity of feeling lost adds to itself endlessly; then an expression of Oneness appears in the dream of “I” and say to that “I,” LOOK! What you believe yourself to be is naught but a thought! And a thought is powerless, empty and meaningless. Can a thought do anything?


But I didn't want to accept something so simple.  Fear arose.  What would happen to MY life if I stopped believing that I was a separate entity?  I imagined something like complete chaos.


The belief in a controlling entity produces chaos! Have you read the newspaper today!?


But it’s ALL imagination! All the energy of belief has gone into believing that this thought was a real, solid, separate entity we call “me,” and so when first heard that this is an empty imaginary non-person, the believer-I rejects the pointer. One way it rejects the pointer is to feel threatened, and an energy arises that the “I” LABELS fear. But what IS fear? Energy, motion, moving energy that this “I” thought latches onto and makes it “Mine” and labels it Fear. Without a belief in “I” or “mine,” without a belief in solid separate things staring with the solid separate “I” … where IS fear or me or you are any “object?” Where IS this separate “I? Can this be found in directly looking from awareness … from Being (inescapably you are and you know that you are; looking into this space-like awareness, where is the “me?”


So the seeking began again.  I notice that a lot of people who read Krishnamurti assume he was different, a "special" person.  Which completely goes against what he was trying to convey!


Quite correct. Now have a look. What is this “I” that began seeking itself again? Chasing its own tail?


A question:  Did you have these fears too? 


Two answers. First, from a relative dualistic (actually false!) perspective, a simple yes. Terror! “Sailor” Bob at one point suggested that rather than resist the fear that it could be a practical attack on this to try to magnify it, make it worse, imagining the horrible ways “I” could die (for me it was burning alive in a crashed race car as happened to a very dear friend, Lorenzo Bandini, who burned alive in a crashed Ferrari F1 car at Monaco way back when I was still racing.) My experience in doing as Bob suggested was a burning (even feeling heat) and that burning “burnt though” the self-conceit, the self-concept, leaving what was always already present … NOTHING.


Secondly, from the No-perspective No-viewpoint of Reality, Being-Awareness: The question is arising out of a faulty context, a false premise, a point of view held onto by the “I” – thought, that there IS a “you” called “charlie” and there is a “me” called JT who “wants to know if “you” experienced this “fear.” So an answer offered to a false self-center can reinforce the self-concept of a “me” that has “fear” (and doesn’t want that!)


… That if you really recognized the unreality of the doer, that life would fall apart because there would be no one left to manage it? 


The believed-in “me” feels insecure and vulnerable; that’s quite natural owing to the fact that IT IS A FAKE, and a fake does not want to be found out! S “IT” attempts to control and manage life to get pleasure and avoid pain.  Having taken on first, the acceptance of the false as a fact (I am separate, I am this body which can be hurt or killed) and then taking on a belief in a counterfeit "money" called “my free will," and then ignoring that brute fatc that this counterfeit free will, when one attepmpyts to use it, one finds it has no buying power, then repeatedly ignoring the awful fatc of having NO real control over the appearance of life, the entity either shrinks in terror or through ignorance fights its heart out until the body dies (and then freedom is seen by no one to be the only Reality.


To paraphrase a text supposedly “dictated” by the aspect of Oneness called Christ says, Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. This is the re-cognition of the underlying Peace that Surpasses Understanding. (Understanding “I Am Being-Awareness” is NOT BEING Being-Awareness!)


 There it is in a nutshell!


So you can settle this issue for yourself right now. Take on controlling every thought, feeling, emotion, sensation in the machine you call “me” for the next two weeks. Start now. Do this for ten minutes, then come back and read the NEXT e-mail. I will wait ten minutes then send that.


STOP. DO NOT do read anything else until you have tried this …  controlling your life for ten minutes.



06 October 2007
Follow-up from JT: "I can't disagree with what you say.  I see the subtle way I was inferring cause and effect.  Maybe it's more accurate to say "what happens, happens!" and leave it at that.  You mention on your website that John Wheeler and Bob Adamson prodded you until the understanding was complete.  Well, you're doing the same with your talks and videos for many of us(And I know there is no "you" and "us," but as you say on your website, words are never completely accurate)." 
That's bang on. Your seeing is clear and complete in itself. That's all that  really matters, isn't  it?!

6 October 2007
This was written before our meeting by phone [see link at top of page to Samantha's audio] so it will likely appear redundant. No matter, here it is anyway :-)
Since you last wrote I have laughed at the self/thoughts more appears that the search seems to be deminishing....I can see that I exist as a thought and force of habit........I see that awareness is always present and never leaves........The thought from one of your videos "everything is happening to no one " has showed up in my awareness a number of times...........
Good to hear from you!
You say, "I can see that I exist as a thought and force of habit." Lets sharpen the seeing a bit: You exist as Self-Knowing Being-Awareness, JUST THAT, and NOT "as a thought." Awareness- Being, is UNthought yet undeniable You as That, ARE.
The thought "i" is an overlay, a mental concept appearing IN that Awasreness, the Being that is ever-present as your pre-thought naturally Knowing-Awareness or Consciousness (just remember the label is NOT "it.")
"I see that awareness is always present and never leaves..."
Yes. Now get the "I" out of that and what's left? Seeing, or Awareness, IS. Everfresh, unchanging, invincinble, untouched by a thought or absebnce of a thoight, That Alone Is. Alone: All One. One Essence, Being-Awareness, the silent unchanging sustrate or backdrop.
Now you know!

6 October 2007


JT writes, Thanks for the videos you've posted on YouTube.  They are direct and free of pretension.


Your clear Awareness, Seeing itself, has no pretenses and no persona, no mask. Once that's clear the end of the game of hide and seek is here! Allee allee in free! The metaphor of hide and seek is that the Self hides from ItSelf, and it hides in everything everywhere which appears to the mind-persona as nowhere and in nothing. So the Clear Presence of Awareness itself simply shines the light of The Self, Oneness, on itself and then the little “I self” can no longer be believed to be a thong apart from all there is … Totality, Oneness, The Self.


What you say rings true.  I recently noticed the non-reality of the 'doer' when I sat down to write.  I'm working on a novel and wasn't getting anywhere with it.  I thought my effort could make the words flow.  Then I thought, "To hell with effort!  Let's just see what happens!"  With that, I put pen to paper.  The words flowed once again...


Now simply get that idea of cause and effect out of the way. This notion that "I thought, to hell with effort" is just a thought of “I” and then more thoughts are appended to that false identity, all presently appearing in Awareness. Do these or any other thoughts have a "source?" Is there in fact any cause of the effects? There is one root idea that is at the root of the root of suffering and effort: "I."


Now, this makes it sound like "I" did something, adjusted my mental attitude, etc.  But that's an illusion.  All actions happen like this, spontaneously.  It is believing in our thoughts that creates the tension we call "effort."


Actually, it is believing only ONE "core thought" ... the "I" as a solid separate entity. Once the seeing into the cloud-like non-solid nature of that "I," from the infinite Presence of NON-conceptual Awareness-Presence that is never ever not here wherever and whenever there is "you" ("I") ... ever fresh and always HERE BEFORE and BEYOND "you," that fries to a crisp the idea that there is a "me" that is "doing" or that the "I" is "my body" ... these all burn away as Oneness fries "not-oneness" idea and feeling, that sense of "me" falls to burnt pieces and all there is, is (as you noted) the spontaneous happening of aliveness itself. 


It is nice to see this confirmed in your talks.  Thanks once again.


De nada!



06 October 2007


RZ  follows up: I investigate who am I, what is found is empty – nothing.


That is all there is to see.


The mind tries to jump in and describe. I get it intellectually but the mind jumps in, describing, moving the topic off the investigation. I think I know the me is false but its strong attraction and reactions in daily life befuddle me.


That’s what’s happening. So what? Who cares? All that is Oneness, Onenessing. Just That. Nothing is happening. This is what “nothing  happening” looks like!


As I wrote you previously: Awareness-Being that is noticing Itself ... Its Self ... appearing as a "suffering entity." But so what? It is as it is … Oneness, Onenessing! But all that is still a dream, and you will be the dreamer until you are not. Nobody is here and nobody is there. Emptiness alone IS and all that seems to be real is a dream “me” dreaming “it” is separated from the whole. The dream goes on … until it is seen by no one that there is dreaming happening in Oneness as Oneness and that’s all there is … that’s the full stop. What you are … BEING … is inescapable, unavoidable and absolutely UNKNOWABLE. You are simply NOT LISTENING, sir! You try to grasp this unknowable spacelike Presence with the mind. But the “mind” is an object appearing in Awareness. How can an object (thought) ever know it’s Source (NO thought, Awareness, Being-Oneness Itself …)


I find myself in expansion-contraction throughout the day.


Yes. And what is it that wants that to be some other way? All that is ALSO Oneness, Onenessing. Just That.


I see my ego as nothing more than a reaction design created by my life, x happens I react as y. I see my thoughts are not my thoughts, but they still hook me most of the time. I know the separation is false but the separation is my experience more than it isn’t. I know there is nothing to do, no one to do it.


"MY ego?" Oh lord! Where is this "me" that "owns" an ego? That's pure ignorance, my dear friend. LOOK! The “separation” is nothing but thoughts held onto for dear life by the ego-mind. "You" will NEVER get this! If you had a choice you would NEVER let go the illusion! You as the thought "I" think yourself up to be this dream character who wants to make its dream better. No chance! But that’s just what is happening. All that is ALSO Oneness, Onenessing. Just That. Where is any problem in THAT unless you judge with the mind and invalidate what is? Look for the I and you find nothing, as you said. So WHAT makes you keep telling "your story"!?


You want what IS to be different and that is simply impossible. You argue with gravity and wonder why you can’t win. This is ignorance and arrogance rolled up in a furball of thoughts and feelings of a “me” that wants desperately to become NOT me. Forget it. It ain’t EVER gonna happen!


That is the contradiction and dilemma I guess. Let it be, I suppose.


And what in you can control THAT happening or not!?


But there is still a sense of yearning that I never overcome. Knowing there is no one to satisfy leaves me in this desert.


All that is ALSO Oneness, Onenessing. Just That. WHO is “in a desert? An imaginary character with wants and wishes to not be what it is and struggling against what is in absolute futility and that IS frustration … suffering big time. But for WHO? Where IS this "ME?" Does it exist in Reality? What is controlling all that appearance of thoughts and feelings of a separate seeming ?I?" IS there any controlling personal entity called "I" in Reality? Find out!


LOOK! Do you exist? Are you BEING. That is all that you are, Being Awareness, as in No Thing yet Presencing Here and Now as your knowing that YOU ARE, undeniably and inescapably! YOU as Your Self ARE ...ONLY being, Aware and present before during and after all your “poor poor me” stories! Stop telling this sad sad story and LOOK:


Do You Exist?


Are You BEING? Yes. Inexorably Undeniably So. What you THINK is "you" is only imagination, and that "you" does not really exist! You are NOT any “thing” at all. Yet YOU as Being do undeniably exist.


Any problem in Being Awareness itself? Why trade in Awareness Being Itself for thoughts of "your" crappy little life!?


You will never wake up. You will never die. You were never born.


This is it. Nothing ever happened. It was all a dream of a character that only exists as a belief. "The earth IS flat" "I am Me." "I am cuz I Think I Am." "I am this body." All just beliefs! What is the believer? Where is the one who believes and accepts the false assertions of the idiot mind? WHERE?  If you meet the doer show it to me!


I wish the ego would dissolve or become more of a back seat driver.


I wish I had a couple hundred million dollars. I wish I owned a Formula One racing team. I wish I wish I wish … SO WHAT? Who cares what you wish?


I don’t know what I am asking really. Just putting it out there.


That won’t work! You need to get real with this stuff or quit altogether (if “you” can!)


What I resonated with you and Paul was the story of surgery. I had back surgery a week ago and had similar feelings as him of being put under. As a child and teenager I would be deathly afraid to sleep, that I would disappear for 8 hours, I would die for 8 hours terrified me. It lead to experiences I can’t describe and I think led me to investigate religions. The fear would lead to thoughts of death, like I was when I was asleep, this lead to strange and exciting experiences, a giant all knowing expansion, indescribable, I was everything and nothing, expanding light, silence, knowing. My mind or me was not there, it was pure bliss, but inevitably the mind would come back and BAM the expanse would disappear and I was back as a sweaty scared boy. Maybe because I have tasted that I am looking for the Ah-Ha experience, I don’t know.


Your expectations will NOT be fulfilled! This is IT. There is nowhere to get, nor any such thing as time or “someday.” All there is is All there Is As It Is and as it AIN’T. This Oneness, this appearance, this awakeness, this Presence, THIS IS ALL THERE IS.


I can almost taste it but always back to the ego and mind, worries of family and work, taken as real.


By WHOM? What says this crap and then believes it?


I know all the above is a story, not real, doesn’t exist now, so it really doesn’t mean squat, just giving a little bit of my history.


ALL of that stuff is immaterial and irrelevant. It’s a bunch of empty meaningless sounds, words going  around in a loop that is all about a “me” that you “know” yourself to be, You are the man who knows too much. Try NOT knowing! All your knowledge is crap. It’s the arrogant ignorant ego-me that is refusing steadfastly to LOOK.


Like I said, you ain’t listening. When you are ready to STOP this bullshitting of yourself, get REAL, and LISTEN and LOOK, call or write again.


I love you!



05 October 2007


RZ Writes, I have enjoyed your talks with Paul. The understanding of the 2 basic points of reality are understood by “me”.


The “me” is false. If you are still convinced there is a “me” that “is convinced,” where IS that thing? You are and you know that you are. All is Oneness appearing as a dreamer that dreams it is a separate me apart from the whole. But how can anything be apart from ALL THAT IS… Oneness Itself IS and even this false idea of a “me” IS that Oneness appearing as two and many and all. No separation anywhere. Even the conviction of separateness IS Oneness, One Sourceless Being, appearing as two-ness-ing.


Understanding this in the mind is the booby prize! Who understands? A dreamer.


 I still find my day goes in and out of suffering.


That’s what is happening. To whom?


I have a time where my mind is engaged, suffering happens. Something in me notices it,  full stop…


That is not accurate. There is nothing “in you.” The noticing happens from nowhere, it is (so to speak) Awareness-Being that is noticing Itself ... Its Self ... appearing as a "suffering entity." But so what? It is as it is … Oneness, Onenessing! But all that is still a dream, and you will be the dreamer until you are not. Nobody is here and nobody is there. Emptiness alone IS and all that seems to be real is a dream “me” dreaming “it” is separated from the whole. The dream goes on … until it is seen by no one that there is dreaming happening in Oneness as Oneness and that’s all there is … that’s the full stop. What you are … BEING … is inescapable, unavoidable and absolutely UNKNOWABLE.


… the truths are again realized and the suffering fades. I would say the suffering to not suffering ratio is still 80-20 unfortunately. Sure when I first saw the truth it was 99-1 before I started “full stop” when my mind was racing.


That is what is happening in the dream.


Is this how it is?


This is how it appears to the dreamer.


What am I missing, my mind is stronger than the apparent reality, at least 80% of the time. Thanks.


What the “I” always forever is missing is Nothing. Because Nothing cannot be either missed or known, found or lost, you might very well have a good laugh and head for the tavern or the whorehouse!


I’ll meet you there!


[Note: Of course, in Reality all these 'words, words' are empty and meaningless pulses of energy ... no one is dreaming, no one wakes up.]



Followup from EP, 04 October 2007 

Q: "Could awareness ever not be, sometime? What if all the universes collapsed, and take awareness with it?? Would there be anything left? LOL..."

There isn't anything now! There is Awareness but Awareness is No Thing. There never were any "universes" apart from Awareness Itself (all else is a dream appearance, only real in essence, not real as separate or apart from The Whole...)

All else ... EVEN including the concept Awareness as well as the concept  "I" and the concept "time" (that concept of a me in time says says what if, meaning not now but someday) IS imagination, just mental speculation!

Be as you are. Being IS and you are that. You are and you kow that you are. That Being is NOT a concept or imagination. Stay with the ONLY thong you know for certain: I AM. THAT is NOT a CONCEPT. It IS and THAT YOU ARE, BEING, IS REAL. All esle is Imagination ... FULL STOP.

You mean, if awareness is nothing, then nothing can never appear or disappear? Nice.
This is the ONE Unborn Being, Naked Awareness, and you are That. Now you know!


04 October, Followup from S.C. ...  (The original dialogue of Sept 29 follows this post)
Charlie:   The "me" was having a great laugh this afternoon. There was a realization that all talk about this stuff is absurd; there are no separate people communicating. It appears that the identification with the story has dropped away....this really can't be communicated...just step back (so to speak) and watch it go...
YES! That's great news!
There was just a video done for YouTube, right before getting this. The vid addresses this very pointlessness, of seeking what IS ...
Meanwhile, Here and Now, Welcome "back" to the Home You Never Left!
The video is on YouTube and also here.
Follow-up #2

"Hi!  Yep, this is so ordinary; it's the great cosmic joke. Well any way Charlie thank you(!!) for the pointers and take care...its time to chop wood carry water..."

This is Great News!!!

Love ya!


On 29 September 2007 S.C. wrote, I recently discovered your site and renewed my hope of understanding this. I have been listening to the audios and videos on your site and have questions, if you don’t mind. I guess that I expected this to clear up without my participation but ….


That’s common, it’s a misunderstanding of the way some point to what is and say things like “there is no one so there is nothing that 'you' ('I') can do."


As a pointer to the actual Real essence of what you are, there is perhaps value in the pointer that “there is no one.” But when taken on as a belief by the “person” who still is convinced that he or she "IS" a real separate controlling entity, all that belief usually results in is resignation, ennui, despair. Saying or believing “I am no one so obviously there’s nothing I can do” is a false belief held by a “person” egoically claiming to be no one. And since "I believe" “I am no one” and therefore “I am powerless” to rediscover what is true, as a consequence of believing this lie I must be doomed to a hopeless state of despair at worst or “quiet desperation” at best. Then that hopelessness is covered over by what a “me” calls “hope.” It says, "Maybe 'I' CAN find this peace I seek!" You will NOT.


This True Perfect Peace is the absence of "you." So that hope is like icing on a turd! It’s a product of the false beliefs in a “me” and “other than me”, of  a personal attainment for “me,” and a false belief in "time," and a "someday" when “I will get there.” But you cannot get TO the HERE and NOW. You already ARE HERE NOW!


So, these beliefs, when unexamined, operate at a deep level, and result in a certain yet totally false conviction  ... the conviction that there IS a separate "me" that must somehow get control if "its time and its life." This conviction is like being sentenced to life by a conceptual judge, to a conceptual prison of endless suffering as a seeking and never finding what is sought. Whether through money, sex, drugs or accomplishment, or religion or spirituality, and finally "nonduality," there is this endless seeking for  ...  and never finding ... true satisfaction! It's horrible.


Something you said (in the audios and videos on your site ) about understanding who and what you are really hit home. I have read that before but I don’t think paid close enough attention to what was really meant by it. I must know who I am first? I must ask myself this?


Let’s go over the “basics:” The good news (very good news indeed!) is that the suffering has a cause and when the cause is looked into and rooted out at the core, suffering ends and then there is simply what is, unmodified, uncorrected and unaltered, and life in true freedom happens … for no one (paradoxically!). Elimnate the cause and its effects cannot remain. Here's how:


First off: Again, asking yourself right now, “Do I exist?”, it is absolutely certain that you are. This is absolutely known … I AM. No one can say “I am not.” So Being, your Awareness of Being here now every moment, is primary and inescapable. THAT is what you are. I AM. Nothing added, nothing but this NON-conceptual I AM. You as This are already awake, already home.


Secondly: What IS the cause of suffering? An uninvestigated claim that there is such a “thing” as a separate solid “me” that must manage and control its life (“my life.”) What is the nature of this claiming mechanism? It is “naught but a thought!” The I AM of your undeniable Awareness of Being IS and That  exists before the thought “I.” Then the thought  “I” comes before all else. As in "I ... am ... this body."  And the thought I is NOT the true “I-Consciousness that you actually are. The I thought points to what is … points only! Looking right  NOW: Is the thought of a thing ever what is pointed to or represented by the thought? Can you burn a log in the fireplace by shouting “fire” at the wood? Can you put a fire out with the word “water?” NO! (And without a thought added to the I thought, where is this "body?" That "body" you are probably still convinced that you are is also "naught but a thought!")


So the word “I” is NOT the true I of Presence-Awareness. You are and you know that you are. That I AM that you are is the one same I AM that everyone is. Again, asking yourself right now, “Do I exist?”, it is absolutely certain that you ARE. That’s “step one of two” in this final seeing of the real … and step two is a matter of seeing what is false and discarding that. That knowing awareness arises as the thought I am. That I AM is certain and Real. The thought "I" that appears to divide what is into concepts of I and other is false. 


Another thing that I was hanging onto is what the state of enlightenment would mean. I had ideas of a totally secure feeling of joy and well-being that would allow me to go through life untouched by negative thoughts, feelings or events. I don’t really believe that now but still find myself hoping there is something (soothing, comforting, etc.) here somewhere.....


You will never get “there!” There is no attainment. No such thing as peace of mind. No such thing as “my” well-being. It ain’t personal at all. And there IS NO teacher, no student, all this is unborn and the ONLY reality is I AM. Your TRUE SELF, the Being-Awareness that you inescapably know and are, JUST IS, beyond ideas of a me who is either “secure” or “insecure.” You see, so long as the false belief in a separate I entity is still at play there is often a feeling of insecurity and vulnerability. This was my experience until it was seen clearly that there simply is no such thing as a “me” that can be vulnerable and insecure.


What you are describing is a STATE. A state that will "allow me to go through life untouched" ... that's one of what Stephen Wingate calls The Outrageous Myths of Enlightenment!" You get free of a myth by seeing that it IS a myth! "The earth is flat!" That was a myth. Now no one believes that one. Just seeing the false AS false is an aspect of this clear knowing of what is real and what is not real.


All "states of 'me' being this or that" come and go. What never changes? Only THAT is real. And nothing real can be threatened and ”feel insecure.” And nothing unreal actually exists.


There is joy and well-being. But not for “you!” That joy and well-being is your Natural, Eternal state. But THAT is NOT “personal!" THAT is, in a way of speaking, the ABSENCE of “the person.”


So besides acknowledging (I Am) how do I proceed?


Asking who am I comes after the knowing I AM. There is NO “acknowledging” needed. It is simply the direct nonconceptual knowing of your own presence of being. Here and now you ARE. Full stop!


So that is known. Period. Now, what is “next” (actually it is simultaneous but appears as a “process in time”) is that you set into investigating WHAT IS this “identified pseudo-subject” that calls itself “I” in thought and considers itself separate from “other than  I” also in thought … this is in “part two” of this seeing, discovering once and for all what you are NOT. "I am a person:" Is that TRUE? Is the thought the thing? What AM I? I AM. What am I NOT? Any thing at all. I AM No Thing. Yet, I AM. Don’t try to get that with the mind! It can’t be known that way. THIS is in a way, NOT-KNOWING.


I AM THAT. What? NOT KNOWING. Yet I AM. Got it? Drop it!


From experience I can confirm that you must know beyond doubt BOTH what you ARE (Presence-Awareness, Being-Consciousness) and what you are NOT (a thing apart from all that is.) Then the suffering ends right here right now. Then (now)  there is Absolute Freedom, the Home you never actually left. But this is not freedom for “you.” It is Freedom FROM the false belief in the idea of a separate “you.”


I AM. That is certain, inescapable; you know that Your True Nature, your own Being, simply, IS. Then looking at WHO or WHAT I AM is the investigation into all false beliefs, beginning with the belief that the thought I is what I am. You are not a thought! You were never a concept and never could be. It was a mistake made in ignorance that the thought I was believed to be what you are. Asking “Who am I?” and (importantly!) rejecting all answers as “me” is part two of this nondual seeing.


So that’s the “drill:”


1: I AM. That is certain.

2. I am NOT a thing apart from That I AM. That is proved to yourself on investigation.


Stay in touch. Call if you like! Let’s get this completely nailed down for you straight away. Life in True Freedom from all psychological suffering is your birthright and your true nature so if there are any remaining doubts, questions or ‘yes-buts’ lets get ‘em resolved.


Re-read this a few times and allow the pointers to "sink in."



Followup 03 October 2007
Q: Awareness as the emptiness where objects apear or the silence where sounds and words resonate reflects what this body mind organism sees, hears, touches, smells, tastes, thinks and feels. It gives existence to the world, to the flight of a bird, to a sun set, the barking of a dog, a dream being dreamt, to a thought or feelings of joy or sorrow. Yet it reflects only the circumstances related to this body identified as Jorge, not those of Charlie´s. Should'nt awareness be impersonal?
Here is the essence of the confusion: "Should'nt awareness be impersonal? "
Awareness IS.  THAT is neither personal nor impersonal.
"Shouldn't" indicates a belief in some cause or control that "could" have what is be different.
Now drop all that and LOOK where this is pointing. Are YOU suffering? If so ask a question regarding that. Otherwise why bother? You will NOT gain some benefit with any answer to any question.
Love yourself. Be. Stop.

03 October 2007 

What about when I'm asleep? I'm not aware then, so does nothing exist when i'm asleep???

What is your experience? You are awareness itself. Then that awareness becomes consciousness when the unknowing awareness awakes as the NON conceptual "I am" -- That awakes as being I, i am, i am here now, But Awareness is that Eternally Present aliveness that beats the body's heart in sleep. Just ask, Do I exist? You are and you are aware that you are. That awareness is what IS, before the conscious mind translates That into I Am, IS your True Nature. That's all there is to this.

And YES, Nothing exists when “i” is asleep. You ARE that No Thing. Presence Awareness Being Emptiness ... whatever label you like. All labels point to No thing NO where Now Here THIS. Just This. Smile. You are already free and home in No Thing.


03 October 2007 - with Followup 03 October 2007

Q: I found a book where the author makes the case that to be free from the ego, the seeker must practice self-Inquiry like a formal meditation practice. He recommends a minimum of 2 hours per day of Awareness Watching Awareness and to devote longer periods of time to the practice when possible. I wanted to know what you thought about this.

That's easy. He's fulla shit! In a manner of (vulgar) speaking!

Who would "practice?" Only an entity trying to control it's life, manage aliveness, manipulate the experience of life.

It's pure bullshit.

You are and you know that you are! That's all there is to this. Ordinary Awareness. Where is a me that would inquire? Find out, is there one? Where is it? This natural looking is not a practice.

As I have said on the blog: Perhaps the habit is to identify your self as the thought "I" - as in I Am. Notice right now if the Presence behind the I thought has been overlooked. Break into the habit, being aware of That Presence as your True Identity. This takes no time nor practice. It's just a natural seeing, right here, right now. And that's the end of seeking; the Natural, Eternal State has been found to be never missing.

Self-inquiry can happen but who does it? Finally it must be seen that there is no person in charge, no person to inquire. It's a myth. "Self-Inquiry" is a way of pointing to the investigation of the mind's assertions that for example "I am this body." Is it true on direct looking?

The seeing is direct from naked awareness that there is only a movement of thought, energy arising as concepts from the self-concept of an “I” who is not already awake and aware of their being. In tis eternal Being-Awareness there is no solid separate entity anywhere, not in you or anyone else. No practice is necessary for you to BE and know that you ARE.

Don't complicate the simplicity of the natural state ... You are this eternal never-changing Being-seeing, just that and nothing else.

Re-read Chapter 9 of “From I Am to I Am, With Love,” re practices.Being, loving to be. That Thou Art. Full Stop.


Thanks for your no non-sense answer Charlie. Just for clarification, I wanted to make sure you had a look at what the author of the book is suggesting people practice. He words the instructions differently so that if someone doesn't quite get what he talking about one way, then they might get it from a different way of wording the same thing. 

These things really mislead the seeker, as he or she then believes that there is some attainment for a person who applies a teaching tool as a practice. It's more effective to stay with the simple message: You are and you know that you are. Then is there is a "me" that believes it is "not done" the practice is taken up by the idiot mind, and leads only to frustration. I simply do not endorse that conceptual structure in whatever form it might arise. This sharing is direct and does not accept the concepts to be real that "someone doesn't quite get what he talking about one way, then they might get it from a different way of wording ... there is NO someone and NOTHING that no someone will "get!" THAT is the ignorance and it merely keeps a seeker believing in his or her existence as an entity with some control and who will "arrive someday."

Really, just see that this is a load of crap.

Remember that you are no thing and have no thing. There is nowhere to get and no one to get there. Full stop!

That's it in a nutshell.

As Sri Ramana Maharshi pointed out from Timeless Naked Awareness: 

"You impose limits to your True Nature of Infinite Being. Then, you get displeased to be only a limited creature. Then, you begin spiritual practices to transcend these nonexistent limits. But if your practice itself implies the existence of these limits, how could they allow you to transcend them?”


03 October 2007 

Q: On a YouTube video you talk about suffering being imaginary. My question is, if, say, bodily pain is just an object in the field of Awareness or the One Consciousness (which is impersonal) why do I, as Consciousness experience the pain (physical or psychological) of this body I call me and not the pain that you perceive through your body?

This question is, as so many questions (maybe most!) are, based on a false assumption, an assumption masking itself and parading before awareness as a fact: That there is a “body” called charlie that calls itself me and a body called <seeker's name> that calls itself “me.”There is NOT. Prove this to yourself by investigating these false claims of an ignorant mind, that conceptual structure rooted in the belief in a separate “me” called “this body” that ignores its own meaninglessness and insignificance, its own powerlessness.

There is no entity here or there; all there is is thoughts of a person who wants to know an answer to a question of “why.” That's an immature approach to a timeless question: Ask What am I, not why this or why that. ALL “why” questions are the mind's quest for an answer that will make it feel safe and secure. But the freedom you seek consists only in NOT KNOWING. So all answers are crap.

The real question I ask you is, are you suffering? A philosophical discussion of concepts of why this and what about that will NOT help you get at the core of your suffering.

So ask yourself do I exist? Inescapably you ARE. Now what you are is what needs looking into: Are you a body? Are you the experienc-er of pains that arise in a body?

Consciousness does not experience. Consciousness is the Absolute witnessing Presence, Being and only That. That is not apart from the experiencing, but there is NO experiencer! That idea of “me” and “other” is the imagination of an entity called “me” that TAKES itself to be “a body.”

Where is a body unless there is a thought? Where is a body or a “me” in deep sleep? You are simply fooling yourself with this false conviction in this “I am the body” idea. Root that out and there is only what you ARE, Unborn Being Itself

In other words, I see intellectually that objects can be both exterior, (like a bird, a cloud, a wave in motion, a person) and interior (a thought, an emotion, a feeling) and that both appear in consciousness. Awareness is then reflecting indifferently a bird flying as well as an emotion and its effect on the body.

Drop the modifier "intellectually" and what you offer here is a pretty good "description" of the indescribable yet glaringly obvious True Nature of Awareness-Consciousness-Acceptance – the acceptance of all that is with no exertion by the mind to control, alter, modify, fix or change a blessed damned thing! Now STOP HERE! But you don't stop; you go on with,

The fact is that I see the emotion as my own, me having an emotion and not as object in the field of awareness.

Fact!?? NO! You assume and assert fact that is, in Reality, nothing but a false assertion. This is your ignorance, the mind-ego you hang onto for dear life to survive as your fake identity. Look for evidence for the mind's assertion that there IS a “you” that “sees emotion as my own” and you find out the assertion is bullshit! That's what is needed at this “stage” of this “process.” WHERE is this YOU that OWNS emotion? Is that real? If so why not use that to control what arises and never ever again have an unwanted emotion or painful experience? Try to control that for a couple of weeks and report back how successful “you” are in controlling all that happens to arise in Awareness??

I thank you in advance for any help in clarifying my confusion.

De Nada! 

Just recognize that all your confusion and suffering is due to your taking yourself to be an object “the body.” Drop that story like the hot potato it is. Be as you are ... presence, being awareness itself, and get rid of the tendency to define your being as this or that, I and other. You ARE and you know you ARE. Stay with THAT.


"You give no attention to your [True] Self. Your mind is all with things, people and ideas, never with your self. Bring your self into focus, become aware of your own existence. See how you function, watch the motives and the results of your actions. Study the prison you have built around yourself by inadvertence. By knowing what you are not, you come to know your self. The way back to your self is through refusal and rejection. One thing is certain: the real is not imaginary, it is not a product of the mind. Even the sense "I am" is not continuous, though it is a useful pointer; it shows where to seek, but not what to seek. Just have a good look at it. Once you are convinced that you cannot say truthfully about your self anything except "I am", and that nothing that can be pointed at, can be your self, the need for the "I am" is over -- you are no longer intent on verbalising what you are. All you need is to get rid of the tendency to define your self. All definitions apply to your body only and to its expressions. Once this obsession with the body goes, you will revert to your natural state, spontaneously and effortlessly."  - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj


03 October 2007
Q: Just a note to say that I enjoy your videos and way of expressing this message!  You look like you're having a lot of fun to boot :))))  It's the same here....ecstatic to be in this moment of now!   Don't need to "know" a darn thing apart from that.

Thank you for sharing and keep up the great stuff - I'm sure that many people are enjoying and benefiting
from your expression, as I do.
Yes. All is well and joyful in Unborn Being!
P.S. Is that also you in the Byron Katie video? ;)
Katie and I did meet and there was a video, it happened around a year ago. That was great fun, "both of us" sort of "pretending to be entities" for the "benefit" of "others"  LOL!

03 October 2007


Q: I just stumbled onto your YouTube talks a couple days ago and LOVE the simplicity of your teachings... thank you for your generosity.................


De nada! :-)


It seems that I am understanding the pointers but there is like a looking for something to end the search............which is really kind of crazy if I think about it.... looking for something to stop the looking...


Do you exist? You are and you know that you are. That’s inescapable, ever present. Awareness is inescapable and THAT ordinary clear awareness is your true nature. All that arises is arising IN that Being-Awareness. Any problem seeing this? It’s obvious now, is it not? Keep this real simple: Directly there is the knowing wherever you are, that “I am, and I know that I am.”


The end of the search consists in seeing that you already are what you search for, and that the seeker is the sought.


Now: What is it that wants more? Where is this entity that wants to stop looking for its true self-knowing awareness? Where is a separate personal “me-entity” that has a desire to control what is and end its seeking? Where is this controlling personal doer, thinker, feeler, experiencer?


Can you actually find a separate entity called by a name-label and which is apart from the whole? Or is that “me” merely a movement of thought, a thought appears, an “I” thought, and out of force of habit is taken to be real and solid, separated from “other.”


“I” and “other” are two separate thoughts that arise together, having no existence apart from Awareness. Being IS and all appearances – including the notional (only notional!) “I and Other-Than-I” -- arise and disappear again in That. So where is any separation apart from a movement of thoughts arising presently?


What in you never changes?


What can never be escaped?


What changes is thoughts and feelings. Can stuff that changes actually be the real, infinite presence of being itself? Or is that all just mind-stuff and no more substantial than clouds in the empty sunlit sky?


Two questions to ask yourself:


1. Do I exist?


Absolutely always, YES. Being is and you are That.


2. What Am I?


Am I a separate entity? No. Absolutely always NO. You’ll never find such a thing; looking in the space wherever you are whenever it is can you find a real solid personal entity? Where is a body or mind or person apart from a thought? Are you a thought? NO. Find this out and freedom is (as it always is) yours forever.


Stay in touch. Let me know what your seeing is after looking into this with these points.




2 October 2007
Question from Samuel: Was there a single crucial pointer or teaching that "did it" for you? If so what was that?
The problem with this question is, as is so often the case, the premise or background assumptions are incorrect; these assumptions are mental constructs of a split mind: The core assumptions are: there IS a "me" called samuel, and there IS "an other-than-me" called charlie, and there IS a "thing" called "time."
ALL of these assumptions are false; another way to say it is these are all imagination.
That said, the pointer I would offer you is this:
Looking for the controlling entity and finding nothing was the hammer blow, then the finality came in trying to exercise "control..." like, okay, control all thoughts and feelings for two weeks. Let me know how THAT goes! When I did this I ended up laughing aloud ...
Give that a shot! Love ya, Samuel!

1 October 2007 - UPDATED 2 October:


Charlie, I'm definitely a seeker. I found your YouTube videos after reading a John Wheeler book. What is being said in the videos has a very strong ring of truth for me. One of the things I get hung up on is that since life is just happening, so called "people" can not take any credit for their apparent triumphs, and conversely can not be blamed if they turn out to be a child molester or a murderer.


"Charlie, I'm definitely a seeker."  Who says so? Where is the separate “I” apart from the whole that claims to BE and then claims to “be” a “seeker?”


What is a “seeker?” The REAL NON-CONCEPTUAL I ITSELF simply IS. THIS IS the REAL … the Not-Two Being, unknown clueless awareness. The WORD “I“ only POINTS to that Unknowing Presence Being Itself, and that is what IS, BEFORE the I-thought IS.


Before God and Man are, I IS.


IS appears as a murderer or a saint. Light appears on a movie screen as a murderer or a saint. Is the screen (Consciousness of being I AM,) touched by the appearance of colorful lights and shadows? ? Is the Light that the images appear to be sourced from touched or affected by the appearance of images on an empty screen?


Only This Light IS and You are That. Full Stop.


I, Being, metaphorically the Unseen Unknowable Light, always eternally IS.


I AM, Consciousness, comes and goes IN the Light of Being as a wakeful Awareness-Of-Itself Being awake as I AM. Oneness is I AM. Being is Prior to Oneness-I-Am.


What all these words are attempting to point to is that what You are is Being, ever-yet-never -- existence-existing, the Unseen Light of Being-As-Itself … which the mind cannot grasp because to the mind, Being is No Thing.


When Being seems to be identified as an imaginary separated concept of I AM, this arises as subtle suffering, and so a “Seeker” is born. What you ARE is Unborn. What APPEARS is a thought I, devolving to I AM, then further devolving into I AM a seeker or whatever else is said to be an identity, as in “I am a seeker.” I am this body with this name is a belief that inevitably brings with it suffering … insecurity and vulnerability … until rooted up and out at the core. You pull a weed at the root, not at the leaves.


The end of suffering consists A) Knowing that Existing IS and you are THAT, and B) Starting from the FACT that you arleady always ARE what the seeker seeks, setting into uprooting the false, thereby getting all the way "back" (so to speak) to the ever-present Beginningless beginning of now. This Presence IS, and This is always Here observing that what we have taken to be “me” or “I” is only a thought appearing in Consciousness and Consciousness is only Intelligence-Energy moving on it’s own with no cause in what IS, existence itself.


This is the true essence of the ancient pointer in the various Indian traditions:




·        Sat = existence, Light Itself. This is what You are.

·        Chit = Consciousness, awareness, I AM, being aware. Inescapable. Light awake AS No Thing, the silent ordinary awareness of presence. Wakefulness as I, translated in mind as “I am.” Knowing without a knower.

·        Ananda = Bliss. Peace, the substrate of all that is appearing, true-nature of Consciousness bubbling into uncaused natural joy, loving what is as it is. Loving Being Awake to Itself, Light seems to become one then many, a sport of the joyousness of Life as the Light plays within itself. “The Nondual Play Of Being-Consciousness-Joy.”


I guess residual thoughts from my Christian upbringing still require some sort of responsibility for what I once thought of as bad choices. If we are truly only along for the ride, there can be no kudos or blame for anything that takes place.


Just watch the “mind” and observe that the Light of Conscious Awareness is never missing; without That Presence, there could be no appearance of any thoughts, feelings, sensations, knowing, not-knowing, memories or imaginations. All arises IN That. You are THAT. If there is a residual belief that “you” or “anyone else” remains as an entity with control apart from That Light look and see where is it? Can you find such a separate entity? And if there is still a belief in control or intentional will, exercise that: Try really commitedly to make your thoughts disappear or only think thoughts you like. Try with all you got to control emotions, feelings, sensation. Try to stop seeing from happening through those eyes! Then make sure you don’t have any beliefs or stories; don’t have any “residual thoughts of a past or upbringing." Stop all thought and seeing and feeling for two weeks.


Are you trying? Try HARDER!


   How’s that going? 


LOOK: Can you stop the seeing for even one nanosecond? Seeing IS, isn’t it? Seeing thoughts, stories, emotions, seeing just …  IS. You as Consciousness are the SEE-ING. The see-ing is 100% real; the se-er and the seen is 100% false. The Dream.


Find this for yourself by trying to stop thinking-feeling.


I realize that thoughts like the above could just be my mind trying to stay in charge, and confuse the issue.


Okay! Now ask yourself WHO or what “realizes?” It dawns on the mind from beyond the mind, from Being-Awareness-Peace Itself, that these ideas of "me" are merely movements of energy-consciousness-intelligence, out of Clueless Beingness, and are just a signal that a nonexistent entity is being believed to be the Real, the I, and that there actually is no such thing. The machinery has no operator!


One more thing, if you don't mind...I once was anesthetized for a leg operation. Afterward I had the feeling that I ceased to exist for those 4 hours while on the table. There was absolutely, no consciousness, awareness or anything, during the time I was out. I have since come to believe that this must be what death is like. If our true nature is the I AM, where is the I AM during an experience like that?


You are getting down to the fundamental questions: what IS death? What IS this “I AM?”


You exist and you know that you exist. When there is a “me” aware of itself we call that being alive. When there is no me we call that death. But we (the mind) have that exactly backwards! What is always existing is That which was awake when you were gone. Deep sleep or anesthetic, That knows NOTHING and YET IT IS. It arises as Consciousness and Consciousness reports, “the feeling that I ceased to exist for those 4 hours while on the table.” FWIW I had the exact same happening, six hours gone during open heart surgery for a quad bypass in 2000. It was only after I met John Wheeler and “Sailor” Bob that I “understood” all that (not comprehended but deeply SAW) WHAT  IS  REAL  -- Being Itself -- and what IS NOT REAL – the dream of “me.”.


I would greatly appreciate any thoughts from you, to help me clear up some stumbling blocks and help me drop the psychological suffering that I experience at times. Thank you for doing what you're doing.


A phone talk would be good to get at any residual confusion. Call any time. If you have pay a toll cost for long distance I can call you at no toll cost for long distance, via Vonage. Just e-mail your phone number.


Meanwhile, be what you are. The IS is inescapable. BE. Full Stop.


Thank you for your detailed reply. I want to take a little time to digest it all. Also, thanks for the invitation to call you. I will take you up on it when I can formulate just what it is that I'm still having trouble with. At this very moment all is well.  You are indeed a friend.


No problem exists apart from a thought of a false entity, a "me," taken to be solid and real. See through that and the seeking ends in the full stop of each and every NOW.




More Feedback from the Norman Oklahoma Talk on Sept. 30th 2007…


To the host of the Talk, I wrote:


Just a note to say thanks for breakfast and lunch! And I loved Being with everyone. Any questions, comments, doubts, what-abouts or anything else? Is it clear that what you ARE is the Unborn Clueless Being and what you are NOT is a thing apart from all that Is and appears to exist?


Waking to the dream is all that is necessary; This is seeing the false as false, and directly knowing (without a knower) that Only Being never changes ever! ... and there is life itself appearing now in effortless living, aliveness in true peace, watching all that appears ...

Here and Now, There is Always Only Nonconceptual Eternally Love, Loving love and hate, war and peace!

Freedom in True Peace is Your Natural State. Invincible and Alone (All One.)


This response arrived today from the host:


That was a lot of fun.  I’ll be interested to see if anyone wants to pursue it further or just drop it.  I saw a few furrowed brows in there.   It is all clear to me. 




Yes, in my case meeting John Wheeler the seed was planted. My brows were plenty furrowed until the investigation proved there is no entity choosing or deciding, not in this charlie-thing or in any other pattern of the 'person' appearance.


So seeds get planted. The IS plants 'em and might or might not sprout them into the inquiry into what I Am and what I Am Not.


Always interesting to watch! To state the ever present obvious. Not preaching to the choir here ... just babbling on about no thing. :-) ...

By the way, looking in a Crichton book at the library while seeking a put-the-organism-to-sleep book for the evenings in the Unborn I came across a quote you might like for the group ...


"What interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world." - Einstein


It might arose for you to share that That idea of course is essentially arising out of a bullshit premise (!) but that idea can lead to the investigation that ends psychological suffering once and for good: What is God? Where can I find God? What is me? Where can I find "me?"


Emptiness here emptiness there ... yet all appears and is loved!


As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, There is IS. Is-Ing! As you now know, That Is Always Only Love.




Another attendee and co-host writes, THANKS SOOOOO MUCH CHARLIE! We had a BLAST! I think that your words touched more folks than you know. I think that those who did bristle were fighting with the simplicity of Advaita - I know I do!


And that battle is suffering, isn’t it? This is so simple; they are, as you are, and that is known. That’s it in a nutshell. Notice the shell, not the nut inside it! Then notice the space both nut and shell appear in and know that you are that. Then it’s truly all over. Life lives itself in endless peace as has always been the true nature of things.


For a few people it may have been too just too non-dogmatic but I would say the majority were married to an idea of complete secularism and your words hit hard to fracture that facade.


Good news! That’s what John Wheeler offered to me and it does work. Isn’t THAT cool? 


My dualistic monkey-mind just won’t let me believe that it is that goddamn simple…


Yet the space of Being-Awareness is untouched and so let the monkey-mind chatter. Never mind. No matter!


When you stir the pot with this group you have no idea what you will get. I think there some (perhaps many) who think it is a load but some have already got it, some are close, and some need more persuasion for the house of cards to fall. 


No persuasion is needed … only a mind could get persuaded and convinced (conned!) and this natural Knowing-Awareness of Being is prior to all that mental stuff and beyond either conviction or doubt. The seeing of this part of the message comes along as the seeker investigates for himself or herself! No words from another will ever let the false be convinced it is false (how could it!?)


In the story of me and other, the con seems to be in full force for some, has been crumbled a bit for others, and others are “on the edge.” But a con is a con! It isn’t real, only falsely accepted in the absence of investigation. So in most cases simply seeing “I am, and that is known absolutely,” will seem to the AHA! Of natiral seeing of what is real, and then seem to be obscured again,  until what is doing the obscuring … the “me” idea … is looked at head on with Naked Awareness. And then it stops like a deer in the headlights. In that stop the search ends … just NOW.


I would LOVE to have been a fly on the wall after the session - I saw several people discussing it, which is GREAT! 


The One Self is the Ultimate Agent Provocateur!


Keep on with the pointers Charlie!!!!


I am not doing a thing so what could stop that from happening? Not one not two. Even “one” is too many!


Anyway, I’m glad to hear all this! Sounds like it’s going exactly as it is going. Funny how that works, isn’t it?



1 October 2007 PM ....




I humbly accept that you are pointing to the fact hat a fictitious  'person,' identified as this body-mind with a name, is still seeking enlightenment and being concerned with so-called others. I agree that this is the bottom line of the inquiry, which for me is fulfilled in the moment of the inquiry only. I have yet to relax into BEING THAT. I guess I am occasionally seeing the freedom-from-suffering while searching for the freedom-to-act as Consciousness.


Ummm ....... not knowing IS freedom....


... all is resolved effortlessly in the Unborn. In This not knowing Unborn Unknowable IS there is no one accepting or doing or being any thing at all, nice or not. In the appearance, the dreamcharacter brian wants the best for the dreamcharacter charlie. And vice-versa!


Just see this as the dream! The Self is the Dreamer. The dream appears in That Awareness and fools the mind into accepting or rejecting, being this or that.


You are and you know you are. That is quite literally all there is to 'realize.'


SO, You are already always resting in endless beginningless peace ... in and AS That.


Awareness, Being, is already always only the "Actor" ... only already always "acting as Consciouness" ...  dreaming ...

Nothing wrong!

From Sri Nisargadatta:

As I can't be what I perceive, I am not this body-mind or any thing that I am conscious of.

As there must be something unchanging to register discontinuity, I am not this body-mind, which is neither continuous nor permanent.

As the person is a changing stream of mental objects that I as the subject take to be my body-mind, I cannot be a person. I am, but I can't be this or that.

As it is my presence, which is always here and now, that gives the quality of actual to any event, I must be beyond time and space. I was never born, nor will ever die.



1 October 2007
Q: I thought the talk( in Norman Oklahoma on Sept 30th) went well, but I was concerned that one of the people there was put off by some of what came up and that maybe some things were said that should not have been or could have been put differently.

There may have well been some at that meeting that, for example in my experience of one appearing 'person' that is not yet hearing what is being said, are taking the pointers as only concepts one sometimes gets and sometimes does not get with the ego-mind.
For this fellow, it seems that currently it's all conceptual ONLY. And in my experience he is still taking himself to be a "very insecure person" and "person" that can be both a vociferous admirer AND (the other side of a persona like that) quite easily offended.
The bottom line is he is not really hearing, not listening, not really INVESTIGATING if the "me" exists; only agreeing or disagreeing. Judging and evaluation! So there is not really looking at who he is and who he is not. I have seen this happen often. It happened to that way for me; John Wheeler and "Sailor" Bob Adamson had to get quite pointed and play real hardball -- sometimes very very loudly! -- about my ass-kissing persona that then would flip into a pissy person hurling accusations that Bob and John didn't really "have it."

This gets resolved only by investigating this "person" who still is under the sway of the delusional mind ... and the real deal here is that NO "teacher" "HAS IT or DOES NOT HAVE IT." There is no IT to have.

I am nothing, I have nothing to teach, I am not a teacher and there are no students. What happens in these talks and meetings is an open sharing of what worked to bring my suffering to an end. "If they have ears they hear."

There is no entity controlling any appearance’s “expression” nor is there any controlling entity causing any apparanet “other’s” reactions. This is proved beyond doubt OONLY through deep investigation. All I suggest here is looking to see what in "you" is concerned about what happens to a so called "other" and notice that there is only a movement of thought energy taken on board as a substantial, solid and real "me" – a belief ONLY that is NOT being looked into and dismantled at the core.

In short who cares? Only a "me" can care what "another" says, does, believes or feels. There IS NO OTHER. These are all imaginary figments in a dream. Only a "me" can judge and evaluate and have preferences and want some pattern of energy to be different than it appears to be. It's all futzing about in a dream by a dream character. So with all love and respect I humbly suggest that YOU really LOOK for this "me" that thinks it is a real, controlling or knowing anything, or is "you" and the"other" and "charlie" merely an appearance of a content of awareness ... and is there an object arising in awareness that ignores the awareness and becomes a fake knower, a pseudo-subject?

Who cares? Find out if there is any such thing!

Then all this folderol goes up in a cloud of heatless smokeless light and laughter can hardly be contained.

There is no me-you-other. That's the bottom line. It was all a dream!

29 September


Q: If I am not controlling anything, then how does anything happen? 


That is a good question. The answer, however, will not satisfy the questioner, which is merely a thought-form arising in Presence here and now. This Presence is what is real, never changing. So all that “is happening” is not actually “happening” at all. Nothing is happening. You are dreaming of happenings and dreaming a question and dreaming a questioner. If there is a sleep dream at night, when waking happens the dream is seen as a dream and no longer troubles you. You don’t ask “ If I (the dream I)  am not controlling anything how does anything happen?” regarding that sleep dream because you know beyond doubt that nothing ever happened in the dream. It was never real, only imagination and in a way ONLY a movie arising that was watched. By what? Who or what watches even now as these questions and answers arise? In this “waking dream?”


Right here right now golf is being watched on TV, then typing is being watched, reading is being watched, watching as hearing sounds of a TV announcer is happening, seeing the fingers dart around hitting little black squares with white squiggles is happening, black markings appearing on white space is being watched. What is watching all this?


This is Not-Knowing, the Unknowing witnessing Awareness, Being-Consciousness, Aware and Awake as the silent Witness of the dream. Looking for, and failing to find, a separate entity doing or controlling ANYTHING is what Leo Hartong elegantly calls "awakening TO the dream." (NOT waking up from it. Awakening to the seeing that this so-called "waking state" of consciousness is a dream we ...  as out True Self ... are simply watching.)


Is there any way to influence what manifests?  


Asked and answered. What would control or influence in the dream? Watching the dream (drama) is what is real. All notions of influence or control are stories of a dream character. Thoughts of an “I” that can “influence” or an “I” that wants to know if it can control what happens in a dream … do you get the irony?


This is the dream character that wants to exert control to make things go its way. But where IS this entity, this character? You are dreaming. Can a dream-entity do anything? The dream is being watched by what you are … being, aware of all that is arising in this waking dream. Just watch. And see if you can locate the “one” who asks the question and see if that is a real thing or merely a wisp of thought!


I know it probably comes from some separate sense trying to control everything, but it keeps arising.   


If it keeps arising, so what? It’s a thought-movement, just energy arising as movements of sound and silence, feeling-thinking…  the only thing problematic is when this movement of energy is fixated on, taken to be “about me, “ and then resisted in some attempt to modify, correct, alter or fix it. There seems to be a notion that this is somehow indicating “something wrong.” But to whom does this energy arise? Is there a controller or is this also appearing as a “happening” … as part of the waking dream of isness?


There are kind of two parts of me I guess. One of them wants to control what is going on, and the other part is glad that it never has to be worried about controlling anything ever again.


Now THIS is TOTALLY FALSE! There is no “me” … and no “parts" of that nonexistent “me.” That is the still-extant belief in a separate controlling entity! Root that out through investigation! Where is this “me” that has “parts?” Where? Where is a me that either “wants to control” or wants to be unworried about being responsible for what it does and has and is in “its” life!? WHERE IS IT!?


You are and you know that you are. That I AM is known and totally certain. All else is false. Who or what believes any thought to be real and be pointing to any real object apart from the pure Subject-Awareness, that I AM which is your True Nature?? Hunt for that separate one and you’ll never find it.


If you are not the doer, then who is responsible for anything? 


You answered the question that you asked! There IS No one. There IS no doer in the machinery! But do not take this as a new belief! Find out by LOOKING for that "doer" yourself, to see if you can locate such a thing!


What asks this? What wants to know? Stop look listen and BE.


Full stop!



"So I just keep saying "so what, this is it" to everything until I get back to presence."
NO! You cannot get OUT of Presence!
What is this I that "keeps saying"? It's absolute bullshit!
There is no going away or getting back! All arises IN Presence.
That IS the I Am. Inescapable and undeniable.
You cannot NOT be!



28 September

    False "Teachings"

Just a niggling but crucial bit of misunderstanding that can be heard erupting from the mouths of some organisms that appear to be false "teachers of oneness" ...

"Consciousness is time bound." Consciousness - Being-Awareness, One-Without-A-Second ... can THAT ever actually be "time bound?" Impossible. There is an APPEARANCE of "time." There is no time, no separateness, no bondage, no liberation. This story of consciousness is false. What is REAL? Being, I AM prior to any thing, and the essence of all apparent things. THAT is No Thing. Can any thing come from no thing and be "bound?"

Q: Ha ha. Better email him and meet at sundown ...

LOL! Nothing serious, just loving poking a bit at false concepts in case there is still someone who cares!

I love the guy.  It ain't "personal!" Ha!!

Who would care either way? Only a fasle entity that still believes in its own separate existence!

Yeah that is my modus operendum ! i think i wanted that to come out as latin for thats how i operate. if there was an i ... thank god there aint.! 

And the non-existent flock said, amen!

"At the moment of inner enlightenment there is a going beyond appearance and emptiness. The changes that appear to occur in the empty world we call real only because of our ignorance." - The Hsin Hsin Ming

Another reader comments on this: This teaching of "awareness prior to consciousness" is very misleading...I was in a state of confusion with (yet another teacher) a few weeks ago, because he was saying that awareness is still a shadow,that there is something beyond that!...but that's just a nice story!...because all that can be known is I AM...the rest is fiction...

Exactly that! Confusion reigns in a mind that makes fictional distinctions and separates this from that ... existence is and that is known, full stop! LOL. No teacher no student. No path no goal. No "Consciousness" no "Prior to Consciousness." I AM. Just That.

Q: I have read where you answered awful obliquely to the straight question "when did Realization happen for you?" I want an honest, straight answer, dammit!

I can only answer a question that is based on a false premise with a false answer! This is the mind that believes there was a separate person and now wants to know when that person "became whole." That whole premise is bullshit. It's like believing in a flat earth.

So: The question assumes several assumptions of fact, but these alleged facts are devoid of proof, there is NO evidence, so the assertion of fact is discovered to be completely false in Truth: Assumption #1) There is an entity that was not realized and now is, and assumption #2) There is such a "thing" as "time." This is to mistake an appearance in a mirror for the real.

Relatively speaking, in the way Sri Nisargadatta answered this same question from a seeker, "I met my final teacher John Wheeler in 2004. In 2007 I realized my true nature as Presence-Awareness." But this is a RELATIVE understanding ONLY and has NO basis in FACT. I say that because on examination I find NO separate personal entity that could attain or not attain "realization."

The Absolute Truth is, there is no teacher, no student, no path, no attainment, no time, no separateness, all is One Essence, One-Without-A-Second.

So who gets enlightened or realized? And when? The question is unanswerable in Truth because the premise is false. The mind wants to know these things, but do these answers end the suffering? Not possible. All answers like this lead to more ignorance in a mind that now believes there is such a "thing" as "realization" and such a thing as "me" (the seeker) who can get realized "in such a thing as "time" ... someday (time concept, me concept, realization concept, all mind, all false!).

Consider this from The Hsin Hsin Ming:

"All is empty, clear, self-illuminating, with no exertion of the mind's power. Here thought, feeling, knowledge and imagination are of no value."

Full Stop.

Your answer sounds like a bunch of nondual bullshit. Why not just be straight and say, "2007?"

Who cares?


Have a beer. Get laid. Drop the search for answers and just BE as you are.


You are. Ask yourself, “Do I exist?” You are and that is known. That is all there is to this.




27 September

Q: It seems to be that there is free will because if it weren't then the future would already be set. I don't know…. sure a lot of things happen on their own without ourselves having any say about it but people still make decisions every day...  

Ignorance says "people make decisions." But on looking it's seen that "decisions" are simply thoughts happening in Awareness. Where is the "thinker? Where is the "decider,” the “chooser?" Rather than argue for a false position look for yourself and see if you actually find a controlling entity. Freedom from suffering consists in knowing what you are (Awareness, just That) and knowing what you are not -- this is seen on direct investigation.) There IS Absolute Freedom. But not for you.

LOOK instead of trying to make your position on choosing and free will RIGHT and the Absolute Freedom that You already ARE will be known, by no one.

I have chocolate and vanilla. I can choose chocolate.

Cut through this dream story! Seeing is happening, seeing is what You are. What “chooses” chocolate? You say "I choose chocolate." Are you now believing in some conceptual chooser with volition that you learned in a seminar like est or Landmark!? If so then do this: "There is NO chooser, NO choice." Choose THAT. LOL ... LOOK! Who's that believer? The truth is there is NO you and no chooser. You are No Thing. You DO No Thing. You HAVE No Thing! Find this out: Where IS  this "I" that believes it chooses? What controls the choosing or the chooser? Where is your control? Where is any chooser apart from a series of thoughts arising in Awareness? Did you control that commenting? Where is the entity that is seeming (only seeming!) to exercise choices? The end of suffering consist in finding out that there has never been a chooser apart from Being Itself. You ARE. Stop wasting time and energy trying to be right about an "enlightened concept!" Do you want to be right or be free? Is that choice yours? Then exercise that choice and choose for the next two weeks to NEVER have a feeling or thought that makes suffering appear. Lots of luck on that one.

Obviously the entity making the decision makes the decision. it may be an unconscious decision though but hey...

What entity? Where IS any such actual separate entity!? You are and you know that you are. All else is a story that keeps you in imagination and there is suffering but only for an imaginary entity. Cut the nonsense and LOOK instead of trying to make your position on choosing and free will RIGHT and the Absolute Freedom that You already ARE will be seen, by no one. That is the Home you yearn for.

Freedom is another word for no one left to choose.

Actually I’m not really ok with my life, I just don't really get this non-duality stuff. It’s one thing to know about something it's totally another to really know it. Amen.

Now we are getting to the heart of the matter! And this is the point: Find out the source of your being "not okay." That "not okay-ness" IS suffering. Suffering ends when you try and fail to find a controlling entity called "me," and at the same (no) time see that you ARE, Being IS, and that is known. You are. Awareness, that is simple and real. All else is imagination ... the entity trying to control its life, and therefore suffering in effort and struggle,  IS only imagination.

Where IS  this "I" that believes it chooses? What controls the choosing or the chooser? Where is your control? Where is any chooser apart from a series of thoughts arising in Awareness? Did you control that commenting? Everything is happening -- to no one! Where is the entity that is seeming (only seeming!) to exercise choices? The end of suffering consist in finding out that there has never been a controlling entity, a.k.a. the "choice-making chooser."

Ultimately, of course, even the appearance of a "suffering entity" is Oneness, "Oneness-ing" that way! However let's not simply believe that! Looking in these ways to find that the "entity" is actually non-existent CAN happen ... as part of Oneness, Onenessng, too! Nothing can be separated from Oneness. Nothing!



25 September


Hi Charlie, it seems now that the sense of an individual is less and less and what happens, simply happens. Things seem new and fresh and the sense of wanting to control or alter what is in anyway seems to be fading.


That is the natural eternal state being unconcealed, in a manner of speaking …now, just notice that this appearance of a seeming individual is also simply happening, and that too is not two! That too is happening. Where is any doer of that happening of an appearing belief in an individual controlling entity? Where is the doer of all the happenings? Can you find such?


In a way there is almost a resignation that this entity has no control anyway so why bother trying to control the uncontrollable. The looking for the person who was in control and the inability to find him was and is very helpful.


That resignation is a signal that there is still the subtle belief that there is a doer that can control even the not controlling (!) … The bothering or not bothering … and thereby do something as a doer to end the search. It’s very subtle.

Interestingly enough a seeing of what I am not (i.e. a controlling entity) appears to be more effective here than a seeing of what I am.


That was also the case here. Ultimately, in my view there must be both sides of the non-dual coin to bring the search to an end: 1: Seeing that what you are Awareness, just That, the nonconceptual I AM, Being and only That. And, 2: If there is  still any vestige of a subtle belief in a separate controller, a doer of all the doing, a director of the happening of livingness, then that needs to be got down to and seen to be absolutely and doubtlessly false. When the false is no longer believed only the True remains. The truth is in Being NOT Knowing. Only the non-conceptual imperceptible unseable unknowable, arising as the pointer to that in words, I KNOW THAT  I AM. THAT I AM, alone (all one) is true. All else is imagination. And that imagination, the false entity-appearance taken to be real, survives as a seemingly separate thing apart from the whole only through beliefs that are not actually real!

The seeing of "what I am not" appears to allow the emergence of a subtle awareness that is in the background. The seeing of "what I am", still seems to generate a somebody looking for or trying to notice the spacelike awareness which feels a little contrived and effortful.


It appears that this pointer has done what it could to show the natural state. Now drop it! It might well seem contrived and ineffective once it’s done the work. Remember Ramana Maharshi’s pointer that these conceptual tools are like a thorn you use to remove another thorn imbedded in your foot. Once the thorn has done its job and the imbedded thorn has been dug out you discard both thorns. Like that throw away all the pointers and BE what You ARE … Awareness-Consciousness-Loving to BE ... just That! Nothing else!

What also appears to be happening here is that the body is feeling a huge amount of unrest and tension. There is an understanding that there is no"I"  that created this in the first place and no "I” that can do anything about it.


Full stop!


Now that this Understanding is clear, let’s move on to experiencing the Teachings rather than merely comprehending them.


However the body feels like a highly-strung coil that is about to snap. There is an urgency and unrest here that shows no sign of subsiding, If you had a comment on this I would be very interested in getting your thoughts on it?


Been there! Know the feeling! But what is there in you that wants that to be different and resists the appearance of that tension, urgency, unrest? That false doer, the apparent “entity” that wants to fix that or change that, is what is under investigation. Simply LOOK. Where is the one that wants to take control of the body? This energy is happening and that energy is appearing presently as a bundle of conceptual sense-feelings and then what arises is a wanting to control or fix that tension, that discomfort. But what is the experiencer of the discomfort? Where is that experiencer!? Is there any such? Or is what is happening simply this experiencing!?? Where is that “experiencer” in deep sleep? Yet the body lives on just fine without any doer, in deep sleep.


Where is the doer of the experiencing? Where is any doer? Can this doer actually be found? If it cannot be found can it actually be real? Or is this energy moving and the subtle identification as the doer OF that energetic happening still at play and not yet seen to be a chimera, a phantom, NOT solid and NOT in control of anything whatsoever?


Have a good look into that and let’s talk soon.




24 September

Q: I was wondering if you could help me with some thinking that has been happening.  If the mind cannot know the nondual Source, what can know?

An answer did bubble up in some detail, as you will read below. But I came back to the beginning because what occurred in the space here is to ask you first, why do you want to know these things? Let’s get down to it: Are you suffering? Will the answers to arcane abstract questions like this end your seeking and suffering? Who cares about this? I enjoy these kinds of discussions but my main thrust here on my site and with my talks and videos is to point out directly what is causing suffering so you can root that sucker out and enjoy the rest of your life without suffering, living in the freedom of perfect peace and effortless ease.

So: ARE you suffering? Let’s get into that. Write back and tell me what the suffering is like for you. And we’ll delve into that. Meanwhile when you finish reading this e-mail, read (or re-read) the essay on the front page of the website, “The BASICS.” Read a few times. Read each time as though you never read it before. (You haven’t ever read it “before.” Each moment is new!)

Meanwhile here is what came up in response to your questions:

If the mind cannot know the nondual Source, what can know ?

Nothing can “know” the nondual Source, as there is nothing OUTSIDE That to “know” That. It IS “NONDUAL!” The idea that Source can be “known” is the mind’s attempt to turn Source into a thing, an object that is known. Source is neither subject nor object. To the mind it is No Thing. Source is space-like Awareness, empty, meaningless, unbounded, infinite … but all these words are absolutely insufficient to describe Source which is patently indescribable.

What the mind will try (and always fail) to do is to grasp the ungraspable. This goes on until it dawns on the seeker that the mind is, quite simply, the wrong tool for the job. The mind is a thing. Can a thing ever grasp NO thing? It’s akin to the eye trying to see itself. It’s hopeless!

Is this just another thing that is kind of self-evident always, or is knowing that you cannot know as far as that goes? 

Yes, the Truth of your Being, that I AM that I am and that I AM that YOU are, is Self-Knowing Awareness. But this truth is NOT the words, concepts, thoughts. As Lao Tzu put it, “The Tao (Source) that can be named is NOT the Eternal Tao (Source.)

The I AM you know beyond doubt. And, anything else must end up in the beauty and silence of what I call “the gift of unknowing!” So it’s getting to the heart of this when it is seen by no one, seeing with N aked Awareness Itself, that all the mind can EVER say in Truth is, I don’t know.”

I guess what I am really trying to figure out is: what is realized when you realize the Self? 

In a word? NOTHING.

What is “realized?” That there is nothing to realize. Nothing. This is seeing by no one that there never was a division in Source. You ARE what you seek. Already always awake here and now. The seeking seems to divide Source into a subject seeker and an object called self for it to realize. Enlightenment can be said to be the simple knowing that there is nothing to get and no one to get it.

But to the Ultimate Unknowable Source, these are all dead words that are empty and meaningless, and the word enlightenment or the words self-realization are pointing to MYTHS!

If you are interested in ending suffering and living in natural freedom, ponder this: What or who is this “I” that says “I am trying to figure this (un-figure-outable nondual Being) out?" The mind is machinery. You, when identified falsely as the mind-thinking-machinery, will endlessly ask questions like these and try to grab and own That, Source, which is OUTSIDE the mind! Seeing is happening. Seeing thoughts is happening. That is Consciousness, your knowing directly I AM before the thought arises that I am 'me,' is Presence, Awareness, arising as seeing without a seer, knowing without a knower, clarity without a subject or object. The mind is a thought, “I” that as taken to be a solid separate thinking feeling controlling entity, “I apart from “Other,” then that thought-structure SEEMS to divide up totality. But can a thought do anything? Can a feeling/thought actually divide the Whole?

Do you actually come to know the Source of this I AM or is it just realized that you can never know, so the search gets called off and you get back to being?

What search? What Source? What being? Who would get back to that which has never been left? Being IS. Unknowable, That is the silence of deep sleep, pure Awareness before Consciousness arises as the knowing “I AM” and then is translated by Infinite Energy into the thought-form I AM “me.”

These are very good questions, it seems that you are on the precipice of this and I’d say, as John Wheeler once said to me, “get ready for a life free of suffering!”

For now, I’d say, write back and tell me the nature of the suffering for you, and also I’d suggest you watch the video series “This Is It” on YouTube… HERE. There is also a link on the site to a dialogue wherein the seeking and suffering ended for a guy named Paul. That one’s on the audio/video page. The download is free.

I just wanted to thank you.  This really is It.  This is All there is.   It is so ordinary, so obvious.  This is It.  Thanks man I love you.

"Earlier I was sure of so many things, now I am sure of nothing. But I feel that I have lost nothing by not knowing, because all my knowledge was false. My not knowing was in itself knowledge of the fact that all knowledge is ignorance, that `I do not know' is the only true statement the mind can make."

     - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj



               Seeking? Suffering? Send your questions to

22 September


Q: After I spoke to you last week something shifted …  following our conversation there was a more neutral feeling or calm despite what was going in the mind and the so-called external world. Watching the concepts as well as the central me concept was going on at times.


Sounds right on. You are clearly seeing, in your own direct experience, that this Witnessing Presence, Awareness itself, and That watches all that arises yet is never affected or touched by the appearing events, thoughts, feelings or anything else.

I noticed that with all of this, there was far less interest in reading the spiritual books I brought with me; there was and remains a lack of resolve to move in a particular direction with each day.


No problem there. What this seeing of your essential nature, the I AM or Presence-Awareness, allows for is a kind of effortless living in the natural eternal state of true peace … because simply put. That is the I AM, Consciousness, just That …  and THAT IS what you are.


There is a sense of drifting or rather a kind of mental/feeling state of not being okay with the way its unfolding now; without direction, cause or motivation.


That “mental-feeling” of “not-being-okay” is a product of the belief in being a separate entity that needs to control or manipulate its life, its thoughts, feelings, circumstances, in order to feel safe and secure or be happy and at peace. But there is NO peace in that person who still believes it is a separate thing apart from the whole.

I think there is something to address here; it is like attention at times is being placed on the concepts of "no motivation", "being or non-being"...back to the menu, missing the meal kind of thing.


These “at times” events, the idea of time, the idea of attention, and “my” attention … where does all that arise? Only in thoughts. Where are thoughts appearing? In Awareness itself. You are aware, and you know that you are aware. That Awareness is never absent (but may be seeming to be overlooked.) But can your Being ever be NOT Being? You ARE being. That is inescapable and unavoidable … YOU IS. Or, Existence IS. Know yourself as THAT and the search is done. Then if any residual suffering or malaise enters the space look and see, WHO wants to control any arising appearance? Who believes they are a person with control? What are you?


You are. But what are you?


It goes like this, in the mind, in language …


I AM. That is 100% certain. Full Stop.


What am I? Any answer other than I AM will be imagination and totally false!


The only true answer to what am I is, I AM. Outside that, there is NOT knowing.


What Am I? I don’t know.

What Am I? I Am. Just That!


So this would be good to discuss with you.


Call any time!



22 September

A book author whose book I reviewed, I’ll call " a person called x" (name withheld to protect the innocent!) writes,


"Amazon haven’t posted your review yet……by the way, how do you find all this?"


I have been asking some interesting questions ... and inviting others to do the same:


What wants ... anything?


What is in charge of “charles?” Or “person x?”


Can I find a controller in here or there or anywhere, anywhere?




Who cares to be known on Amazon? A “Person called x” or a "charlie?" what are those?


What am I? I don't know.


Yet I absolutely know that I AM, there is Existence and I Am That.


Who cares whether a review appears or not?


What is "controlling" all these impulses of energy that arise as thoughts about "me" and "my" books " my website” etc etc


I do not know.


All I can ever know is, I AM. All else is the Mystery of the vast Unknowing Unimaginable Nothing

 Yet there is … Always Only Love.

21 September


Q: I have read and listened to another teacher who goes on and on about "final understanding." But when I have tried to figure out what that means I am baffled. Can you help?


I am not a teacher, in the sense of the traditional roles of "guru/disciple," but I will be happy to share my own experience with you. So long as you see that the ball is gonna end up back in your court! You must discover this for yourself.


That said, as I see it, the so-called "final understanding" is simpy a direct, non-conceptual recognition that awareness IS, and I am That. On investigation I can find no "controlling me-entity" here at any time in any place. Yet the knowing that I Am is always here and always now, never absent.


So you can take this on for yourself and see it clearly: Is that knowing that you are (the knowing of that Consciousness-Being that the mind knows as "Yes, I Am, I cannot deny that I am) ... is that ever not here and now being aware of all that happens, wherever you are and whenever it is?


As I have shared elsewhere on this website, Investigate. Does this "I" or sense of "me" that has been accepted as what you are actually have ANY control over what thoughts arise, what feelings or emotional experiences come up, what happens in its world?


The key to seeing that this "I" is a powerless concept is, try to control your thoughts and never have an unhappy thought or emotion for, say, two weeks. Then let us know how it went, and if you still believe that "you" are the "managing director of your life." For me, my gut-sense of "who I am" was "charles in charge!" Yet there was so much that didn't go my way that I finally had to look at that belief: "I'm in charge:" Is that TRUE? So see what you consider to be your gut-sense identity and challange that belief by giving it a 110% effort to "be in charge" in your life . . .


And while all that is going on, just notice that the awareness of your being, present as the ever-knowing consciousness of "I am," has never gone away.


Awareness is never lost nor found. IT IS. That is what you are ... the aware presence that sees thoughts, feelings, changes, happenings, effort and struggle, trying to control, trying to not control ... all is witnessed by that Awareness that you are.


So you are what you have been seeking. Perfect peace arising as effortless living.


Consciousness is all there is, and you are That.


Full Stop.




21 September
A question came in from YouTube, and it's posted here along with my video response. Enjoy!
Q: What I believe to be me, has to do with what I cannot see! I cannot see my face, my neck and it's there that there's the most identification. Breathing, breath, afraid of no breath! Afraid of injury on the face. It seems to be that I am over here (behind the eyes) and my feet are over there. I can see the feet are not me, they are so far away. I can see I am not my hands, because I can see them move. Is there anything that pops up that you might like to say about this?


20 September


Rob Ek writes, What are you doing here and what am I doing on my (most Dutch) website on Advaita?


Who is speaking to who? Why would 'you' want to help another 'you'?


Is the fact that a 'you' realizes there is no 'you' the essential moment for the No-You? Who receives these notes and video's? No one. Who is writing these for me? It's a dialogue between No-one and No-one. Does it help hearing these things? Is this hearing necessary for 'getting' it? Or will it occur when it occurs. Even without reading books or attending satsangs? And who's getting it?


There is seeing of non-understanding and there is seeing of understanding. That's all there is. I'm pure awareness.


I understood these lessons 30 years ago, but even now they sink deeper and deeper...the suspension of disbelieve? Is it the pace of this game I see?


Tony Parsons says on one of his video's that you are already what you're seeking. So there is absolutely no-thing to do. And yet on the following video he speaks about awakening and how fantastic that is. So....there still is the promise of bliss and happiness.


For who???


My conclusion is that is all a game. Being a plummer is a game, being a seeker is a game, being George Bush is a game and writing this is a game....and there is only one Player.



Quite right!


What are "we" doing "here?"




All that appears is nothing appearing as everything!


One Self One Being One No Thing One Every Thing.


Mind boggling?


"I" Hope So... LOL


Rob's website is HERE




19 September
Q: Thank you for the CDs.  Have listened to them twice over.  Things are clearing up (for no one).
Ha! Beautiful!

18 September

A note from a friend re the John and Bob Video, saved in mp3 audio:

Extraordinarily apropos, Charlie! Like you, JW is very clear in his pointers. I have to investigate further reality vs the concept of reality. I added the mp3 to my phone so that I can play it over and over. I also have to listen to the complete dialog. Thanks so much!

Okay, my very dear friend, WHO are you being here? What are you taking yourself to be? A being apart (a part) from the whole that now needs to listen over and over? A being that is "not there" and needs to "GET there?"

That's the trap. 

Before all that happens, YOU ARE. During all that happening YOU ARE. After all that happens YOU ARE.

Drop the search and BE as You Are. Already Here, awake and aware.

Believe it or not, You ARE what is seeking and what is sought. The One you are looking for is The One ... Looking.

Spot on, man! Thanks for saying what I used to say to my sons when they were frantically trying to get my attention: "take a poop, you've got the job." It is truly all too easy and we try to organize it again and again. We keep nailing Jesus to the cross year after year and every damn time we are surprised when his oneness doesn't die. I AM THAT. :O)

Yep. Now, Stay with THAT!
Thanks so much for hitting me with the crowbar of love!
De nada de nada
it's a pleasure ... when the openeness and earnestness is there ... appearing as that huge open heart!

18 September


Q: When (a more or less precise date please) did you realize that there was no-story, no me and no suffering? That is that suffering finally ended?

Date? Precise specific date? What is time? A concept.

What is it that asks that question? Who wants to "know?"

This seeing is happening NOW. Just NOW. Only NOW. Never was or will be. Only NOW!

Got it?

Paraphrasing the Zen patriarchs:
The Way (Tao) is BEYOND language (time). In It there is no tomorow, no yesterday, no today.

No one saw this "then." It is seen. Here, now, forever.




A note from Rob Ek regarding the latest video:


Hi Charles, Yes this is the core question.

Who is looking? What is looking? As soon someone thinks he's doing something to reach one's Self, there is movement. There is no you that can do anything. All is oNe. You are already the One and only Self. Who is thinking he's separate? There is no-one separate.

There is only seeing or being.

The observed can never be an independent actor. So what can we do. No-thing. Don't try to see. The seer, seeing and the 'seen' is One and the Same. One is One so there is no movement necessary. Even putting the question is movement. I'm not there already. Jesus... What can I do? The answer is No-thing. Just 'understand' as Nisargadatta said in 'Prior to Consciousness" that you are already One.


Bang ON, Rob. Thanks.





Follow-up from KC, 16 September


Thanks. Now I am aiming at the reality in the direct way, and pointing to Ananda


(This reader likes the Sanskrit Sat-Chit-Ananda as a pointer to True Self)


He respoded to my pointers, the three questions I offer, with the following: (Note, The three questions are, 1. Do I Exist? 2. What are you? 3. Who cares?)

1. Do you exist? My Answer*: It is obvious and evident that I exist, denying it will imply that I must exist to deny it.. Note*: Here we are pointing at the Sat aspect = beingness.

2. How do you know that you exist? Answer*: Simply, I know it. I exist and I know that I exist. Note*: Here we are pointing at the Chit aspect = Knowingness.

3. Who knows that it exists? My Answer: When I try to find the knower, there is nothing only knowingness, aware peaceful space, silence no-thingness, that includes a sensation of fullness and well-being. Nowhere I can find an entity separated from Consciousness. There is no "me", nor a substantial, autonomous object to which it is possible to ascribe the function of knowing and existing by himself. I can only find ideas and sensations emerging/disappearing in this Present space that I am. Note: Here we pointing at the Ananda aspect = bliss, or peace and to the absence of a separated autonomous I.

In summary:

The realization of our true nature and the absence of a volitive and autonomous I, existing by itself, separated from the Present Awareness that we are, is only a mere illusion reinforced by the social conventions. When the cause of the suffering [ taking the idea of an I as a fact, victim of the suffering ] is revealed as a fallacy or mental creation, immediately disappears its consequent effect, that is, the suffering.

All clear! This is a loving articulate pointing to Home.


Well Done, Sir. 


KC: You know there is no seeker no finding ,only an story of seeking [God playing hide/seek with itself]. But the show must going on and here we have Atagrasin and Charlie one in english the other for the spanish people as character in the dream of the me story.If you go to sleep and dream about a sage and dream about a ignorant guy when you awake where is the sage where is the sage? jejeje    "after the chess game the king and the pawn both goes in to the same box."



(KC shares as 'Atagrasin'  in Spanish HERE.)







Investigating an unseen matrix that makes for suffering

15 September (Follow-up)

Thank you very much for emailing the questions. Very helpful to go back and remind myself. One of my biggest problem is a kind of "core belief" that I am some how flawed/bad/damaged (along with the opposite belief - I am special/gifted/superior). In moments of clarity I can see that both these polarities are rubbish. Yet, I am easily influenced negatively and react strongly to any real or imagined negative feedback/ feeling ignored/criticism. I tend to hold on to these for a very long time. I know it is all in my mind and I should not take these thoughts seriously, yet I do. Please help if you have any suggestions or pointers. I will continue to work with the 3 questions. Again, I appreciate you sending me these questions.

You are right on track!

I wrote to another seeker today, to point out a little of the essence of the "me" and how "it" shows up.  

When there is a still-operating "me-sense" ... a subtle deep conviction that when I look at who am I there is a deep "knowing" "I'm ME!" -- then there is a fundamental (actually false but seeming to be real) beingness-knowingness that this "me" is totally and nearly irrevocably convinced of: There IS something WRONG. It shows up as, "something's wrong here" (the furnace is broken, godammit, and it's cold! as it happened here last night) ... or something's wrong with ME (I thought this 'me' had been seen to be false but... psychological suffering arrives ... the 'me' is baaaaaaack! .... much weeping wailing etc), or something's wrong with THEM (whatsamatter with this apartment manager she can't get someone up here to fix my furnace!?) ... that is the litany of the self-concept called I or me.

All of that can be observed in most any human after the age of two or three. It's a play of self-identity and once seen AS a play it does crumble and die. Then you watch as these happenings bubble up from habitual thought-constructs that arise in the organism, but the Empty Being watches and is not caught up any more because there is no energy of "believing" the story to be real going into the play any longer. And THAT is Absolute Freedom, your True nature. 

Now: What is the antidote to this suffering? Those three questions are at the basics of self-investigation and self-liberation. 


Keep at it.


(The Three Questions and a little detail follow)


1. Do I Exist? Before the mind says 'yes' ... Existence just IS. Undeniable and Inescapable. THAT, is what You actually are. Then as the mind thinks, yes, I am, I do exist, I am here etc... go to question #2: 


2. Who Am I? Or What Am I? The mind will answer all sorts of stuff. Discard ALL answers - you are NOT a concept or feeling or a body or mind. You exist. Not as a thing, as No Thing. Simply come back to "Who Am I? Then it may be seen that what you thought was a separate you has disappeared and all is Empty and Meaningless, and a beautiful knowing I call "I Don't Know," the GIFT of Unknowing, is revealed and recognized. A silent Being-Knowing is now arising as YOU, AS Not Knowing. Absolute Freedom, Absolute Peace.

3. Who Cares? Having a good laugh as it is seen that there is no one to care or not care! And never was. It's empty and meaningless and that TOO is empty and meaningless. LOL! Now: If this is not your actual experience, go back to question number 1. 

This non-practice of non-duality seeing dismantles the false leaving only what is Real and Never Changing ... Awareness, just That.

Here and now you are already That. Dismantle the false and only the Real remains.



14 September 

Q: I wonder what society would be like if our leaders began to allow the blocks to be removed to see existence and oneness for what it is. As you can probably tell, I have a keen interest in social equality and how duality, in particular duality masquerading as religion, propagates a myth of hierarchy and exclusion… even Jesus preached this but there is so much bathwater in documents like the Bible that only rarely does the clarity of the naked baby of Awareness shine through ...."The first are the least and the least are the first" ....."what you do for the least so also you do for me" … Isn't it easier to come home to that which has never left than to make up stories of separation? I guess not if you want to keep confused people (or better people's money) coming back!  

Love your insight!

Hell, if "everyone” all at once (whoever “THEY” are!)  saw their true nature, once and for good, the whole manifestation (which never was) would disappear. And the wondrous Game of Hide and Seek could not happen. So.... This Happening goes on in the Eternal Dance of Freedom .. Oneness pretending to be in prison, the Infinite goes on seeming bound, light to seeming darkness etc etc ...

Most don't want to leave the movie in the middle!   - LOL  -

Allee Allee In Free...... 


YUP ... The "false prophets" (and there are millions!) are only into profits. To me there is no integrity in amassing followers. Just a few meetings, or talks on the phone, and the pointers are "imbedded," then quite soon it is seen, Aha! I was never anything but That Infinite Un beginning Unending Awareness Itself! Then it's on to McDonalds and the ball game or the movies and and and


Life is Onederful for the Unborn IN The Unborn.

And Now you know ... You Are the Unborn Here Now and ONLY That.




Follow-up from KC, 14 September

Q:  The pointer is not for me, but to use it with others to point to theirs Ananda self nature, maybe I'm not talking clear. My question is: What good question I can use to point to another friend his Ananda Nature? I intuitive know that you have the answer, that’s why I'm so insistent."


I already gave you the one answer, which is to use the questions previously shared; those WORK to reveal "ananda nature." Period. Full Stop! No other answer will satisfy; NO concept will EVER satisfy; only YOUR looking at who asks these questions will dismantle YOUR falseness and reveal the ever-present "ananda nature" (Peace.)


So: Ultimately I have NO answer to give you.




You will never be able to get this or give this, because both the one who wants to get a "thing" to give to "another" are FALSE.


The friend will only see through his own investigation.


If you keep looking for some magic words you or they will look forever and never find. Stop thinking about that. Just be what you are, Awareness, Only That. Then let your friend come to this in their own way and time as you have. If you want to teach you will fail!


In THIS, there is NO teacher, NO student, NO "teachings." All that happens is that there is a sharing of what works and if the friend takes it up, fine. If not, fine. He is already That. So what's there to give or not?


My last pointer is a question for YOU. No "other" exists anyway!


Are YOU free of suffering? Or is there still a desire to get something and then teach it? That is more suffering ... because there is still a sense of an entity that can help other entities and all that IS is a story told by false gurus and false seekers who are misguided and now ant to misguide others.


I stand by what was written to you previously and insist that you LOOK in these ways rather than try to find some "perfect pointer" that doesn’t even exist apart from a thought!


I love you





14 September

KC asks, How to point to Ananda? I see these pointers clearly ...


Sat =Being,  pointer,  Do you exist?

Chit =Knowingness;  pointer,  How do you know that you exist?
Ananda =Bliss;  pointer ??????????????????????

Do I exist?

What Exists?

Who cares?

Not-Knowing, There IS Bliss!



Thanks, but I'm looking for a pointer to Ananda. My point is that bliss is not so obvious like Sat= being and Chit= Knowingness. In all of ' Sailor' Bob and his disciple’s books they included a lot of pointers to Sat and Chit but like, someone asked Nisargadatta "That I am existence is obvious that I known is obvious but where is Ananda? I like to have a good pointer question to point to Ananda like the questions that you and your friends use to point SAT and Chit. Thanks


Okay, Ananda = Bliss? NO. Ananda = Peace. Pointer: Not-Knowing.


NOW: Do some looking, Who is asking? Who wants some "Ananda" that is not present where that one who asks resides right now?


Ananda is another word for Timeless Peace. Endless Awareness IS Peace, or Ananda.


If you're looking for an EXPERIENCE of some orgasm-like ecstasy that "you" can OWN and hang onto, you will never know the True Peace of "Ananda."


Freedom in Not Knowing is what the word "Ananda" is pointing to. Give up all expectations of orgasmic highs. They will NOT be fulfilled.


This is IT. Right here right now you ARE.


Be what you are. The more you seek outside of THAT ... Naked Being, Presence-Awareness, the direct unavoidable Beingness, the more you will be simply circling the conceptual wagons to avoid the arrows being fired at your false beliefs.


Stop seeking and LOOK ... do you know that you exist? What exists? Is there a person who will attain in a thing called time? NO.


Full Stop.


PS: Nisargadatta Maharaj said in His book, “Self-Knowledge and Self Realization, the following.


“What do the syllables of this immovable one signify? Absolute bliss of the Self, it is Sat (being), Chit (consciousness), and Ananda (beatitude)”…


That’s it from “the horse’s mouth:” Beatitude, or what I call Peace. That is your being, naked awareness. Nothing special!





13 September
Q: I Have been with "who am I" since we spoke, as much as possible.  "What am I " also keeps popping up in between.  It is seen that whenever the question is asked, attention seems to point back within,  and it's seen that there is only silence (briefly).
Yes, that's right ON... "who" or "what", either is fine ... this is the classic time-tested investigation that finally removes the seeming obstacles to knowing the Actuality of your Being.
Now just see that The Silence IS what You are. That Awareness is inescapable. Even when "then there is silence "briefly" and when there is activity "mostly", all of that happens, all is happen-ING,  IN YOU ... That Ever-present Silence-Awareness. All the questioning is doing is erasing traces of the false and only the Eternal remains ... The Home you never left.
This is perfect, right on the mark. Nice work; just keep going...

13 September

Q: A fascination with the story ... How did this Charlie character get to OK from CA? i know this is not a 'spiritual question'  ... but here it is. i.e what thought story is associated with the move?


Oklahoma? Nothin' mystical. Just a helluva lot cheaper to live here. And no matter how hard "I tried" I couldn’t get a job in Socal. So here I am. John Greven told me I could live on my Soc Security and a few donations here so I came, looked, liked, moved. But I never planned any of that (or anything else!)


My rent in Socal was $1400. Here it's $400. DUH :-))


So with a few book and CD sales coming in and the occasional consultation and small donations that people sometimes offer (I never request money) it all works out.


Life is great in the Unborn!


The thought appears that "i" am wasting "your" time. But, it is so delightful and seems to continue (little thought overlay here and there!)Don't we love our nonsense?


Well, no :-) but it’s okay if you do. Meanwhile I haven’t got a better offer right now.


Tony Parsons, while totally delightful, is nonetheless a "bad boy". Not too nice to Unmani ... and, should I mention Katie?? Yikes!


I like Tony ... if there is some ego-sense left in a so called "teacher" that ego-sense will react. You think Tony's "bad," try Gilbert Schultz. NO tolerance for bullshit. Those two had a flame war a couple years ago and THAT was fun to watch. Anyway, I love 'em BOTH ... AND Unmani ... AND Katie ... totally and with no conditions at all.


Here is something to ponder: Who gives a bleep what one teacher says about another? That is just a distraction and if a seeker-mind buys in, the suffering can keep right on truckin' :-))


So he says she says they says


Who cares?!?


Who cares? Only a false "person," and if the person's slipped into a little of being a fake guru (perhaps innocently, unnoticed) then that fake me-sense can get it's bubble of self-righteousness burst by a little sharp criticism.


It's fun to watch (seeing with naked awareness!) Like a comedy, a movie. But ...


No fight no blame.

13 September
A visitor to the meetings here writes,  "It wasn't an awareness of absolutely not being the body, or in it, as it was so dramatically in the previous week. But I'll take this. Fear and suffering have all but disappeared."
And THAT is the pointless point of all this! The end of suffering. Fancy Shmancy exepriences are a kind of booby prize ... momentary experiences of oneness or detachment are not what is being pointed to, as you now know!
Welcome back to the Home you Never Left! Any little pockets of residual suffering die a natural death as once you have severed the root cause, the effects cannot remain. They burn away by themselves. The thought "who am I?" in response to any remains of the self-center will quickly toast any remnants!
And NOW (always NOW) we can declare from nowhere to no one, 
Welcome back to the Home you Never Left! 

11 September
Q: As you pointed out to me before, I will allow Awareness to use the tool of attention to be aware of Consciousness and allow my life to unfold as I inquire. Let me know if I am close to getting this right.
This is about simply that seeing, knowing Awareness. There is no 'getting' it (either right or wrong.) You are It.
Ask youself, who wants to know if  "I am close to getting this right." It's not a big deal, just a gentle reminding-looking... Love yourself without reservation. Love your Awareness with all you heart. You are That.

You are really great. Just keep looking using the pointers like you use a wernch to undo a tightened bolt. Then you can toss both  the bolt and the wrench out and juet BE.



10 September
A friend writes, In an article on line, you said: “Correcting the error is simple; a little investigation is all it takes.” I had the following response from a reader: “These are the kinds of statements that have made my life HELL for so many years...because, if this is TRUE, then there is something SERIOUSLY flawed with ‘me’.”
Presumably this is not the message that a genuine teacher wants to convey (unless there is some misguided notion of ‘destroying an ego’)? I seem to recall that a well-known neo-teacher once implied that this was precisely the intention (but it would take me some time to locate the actual quotation).
Part One:

I would respond to that reader with this: What is this ME that you claim some words "make your life hell?"


I would ask you, dear reader: Have you really looked into that sense of being a "me" whose "life is hell?"


I assert that in clear seeing, all suffering is seen to be imagination. But that ain't "the truth." So in answer I would add, "This is NOT "the truth." It's a pointer that YOU might use to actually DO the investigation rather than judge and evaluate some words appearing in your awareness. As a wise man said, argue for your limitations and sure enough, they're YOURS."


You limit yourself in language, the mind, therefore the investigation has to happen in the mind. I would say, as I recently said to a seeker who was indulging in this brand of self-pity, CUT THE CRAP.


That's how John Wheeler and "Sailor" Bob Adamson attacked MY false beliefs and my assertions of limitations. I spent a year so depressed and in that Hell, seeking on the Internet for some painless sure fire way to kill myself, because I did what you are doing, dear reader: Ignoring the pointers and refusing to really cut the crap and LOOK.


Thank That I Am for John and Bob being totally straight with me. The suffering can end. I stand by what I share from my direct experience: That with no kidding cut-the-crap investigation it will end. Full stop.


I AM That and you ARE That. I now beyond doubt there is no separate entity in you that can suffer. As Nisargadatta put it all that can trouble you is you own imagination. Why don't you look where the pointers are pointing rather than pass judgment and remain in the ignorance of your own self-limiting conversation with yourself?


What have you got to lose? Hell. What have you got to gain? Freedom, your Natural State.


That's all I can say about this except for one last pointer: It's an essay I wrote some time ago that has helped some set themselves free from their delusion. Whether it sets YOU free is entirely up to YOU. The ball is where it always was, in YOUR court.


The Essay: is on line here and it’s called The Basics: Cutting Through The story of "me."
Part Two: 
2: The ego does not exist. It's a phantom.
This exact point came up yesterday.
The pointer is, "the ego does not exist. How can you destroy what does not exist"?
To paraphrase Nisargadatta, just see the false AS false.
That's what I try to point the seeker to do. (I don't merely suggest there is no doer so there's nothing that one can do ... I used to, before that got seen through as a mind justification for avoiding the tough get-down looking for the nonexistent doer. (Paradoxical as hell!) And recognizing the ABSENCE of such a thing. Finding thoughts like clouds, insubstantial and ephemeral. But no actual "entity." That's all.
In my experience, by looking for the ego and not finding one, it dawns on the seeker-mind that there is no such actual thing as an "ego" so the whole paradigm collapses and there is often a good long laugh. That happened here yesterday for a couple of seekers, and this is kind of how it happened for me.
I don't really care whether we get this right conceptually. To me that's impossible. It's not about me.  All that I care about (and I care deeply) is that I reach as many as possible with a straightforward message that helps THEM end their suffering once and for good. If suffering could end for me (the utter asshole that I was) it can end for anyone. No shit!


10 September

Dawn writes, Your stuff is rockin' --- thank you for putting it out there! (Is there a "printable version" of what's on your site available?) Yeah,  -- as the story goes -- the simplicity of this wasn't seen. 'Until' so-called John (where is that thought appearing??) identified it as "ordinary, every day awareness". A light bulb went off!


Right on the mark, dear One. Ordinary everyday Awareness, just That. I am That, You are That, all there is That. That is the ancient Mahavakya, the Great Pointer. Now we know.


There is a print version, a book, in the works. As soon as it's near decent draft "ill send you a PDF of it. A lot of the stuff on YouTube is only audio or video so a few CDs might happen (one already has.) Then there may be a way to get transcriptions made, if so they could go in the book.


The book title tentatively is, "Absolute Freedom, The Home You Never Left." OR "Absolute Freedom, The Eternal State" ... Or maybe just ...



09 September
Q: You say that: 'Many seekers have had such misleading occurrences happen and they are then really fooled into believing there are such “things” as “enlightenment” and “Liberation".' Since you say 'enlightenment' AND 'liberation', you presumably differentiate these. Could you define them?

Sure. They are both concepts, words. That's all. But interimly, perhaps useful to point a "seeker" to the absolute freedom of NON-conceptual Being-Awareness ... the absence of either the presence OR the absence of the "person."  Perhaps! Who knows? As Sri Nisragadatta Maharaj pointed out (paraphrasing Him,) hearing about the possibility off freedom from suffering ... a "thing" that one might label "awakening, liberation or enlightenment", may make a suffering "individual" perk up his ears, and begin the investigation into what is real ... and what is unreal. The concept certainly got my attention in 1974. when the suffering was very intense and I felt I HAD to get to the root cause of it. And then I was led, first to books by Ramana Maharshi and others, then finally to John Wheeler and "Sailor" Bob Adamson, after thirty years of seeking and not finding.

So: In a story, which many tell and many more believe, awakening is the sudden seeing that all "I think I know" is untrue, and "liberation" is the dropping away of anyone who gives a hoot about what is true and what is false and is a "final freedom" from the belief in a person who was seeking. BUT these are only stories. As I see it, when a seeker hears a concept like this he or she grabs it and sets it up as a goal to attain (someday!) That's what happened to "me." BUT: There is no goal, no someday, no seeker and no liberation or awakening except in the story, the "tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing." BUT that pointer (and it's only a pointer) may not be useful to the seeker who is convinced of his or her separate existence. In my view, any concept that is taken on as some sort of "holy grail" will ultimately need to be seen to be unattainable through the challenging of the assumption that there is a "me" who can "attain" some object called awakening or liberation.

What the words try (unsuccessfully, ultimately!) to point a seeker to is the non-conceptual stateless state, that which never changes and is free and clear of self-identification, that which registers language and interpretations of all these inherently meaningless vibrations of energy appearing and dissolving in naked empty awareness which alone (all one) is Real as That which Never Changes. That is of course NO Thing. Yet that No Thing is alive as the appearance and loving to be as everything. To paraphrase Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, this "Emptiness is Full." This "Silence Sings." 

So: That sentence can be misleading (as all concepts can!) because there SEEMS to be a distinction between "awakening" and "liberation." That distinction is unreal, or to put that another way, all distinctions are linguistic and ultimately false, or ONLY "notional." In the appearance, "Heathrow" is distinct from "Gatwick." They are different in the appearance, for sure. But both are "Airports." Or "Airportness". Like that, both words, "awakening" and liberation," are pointing to the One-Essence, Naked Awareness, as our True Nature. One can say "Awakening To The Dream," or "Self-liberation Through Seeing With Naked Awareness. Both are pointing to "Airportness." Both are pointing BEYOND the word.

So in a final stab at this, let's say that NEITHER "liberation" or "awakening" have any substance in fact. The FACT is, you might point out to the seeker, You Are the One that IS. Or, Isness Is. That Isness that IS stands outside of creation, outside of language, outside of story, outside of all conceptual experiences which appear real only due to lack of investigation. The question, who am I, or what am I, and the willingness to forego any and all "answers" and keep looking until there is no one left to look is the time tested approach. Adi Shankara's Discriminate and Discard. The ancient pointer, "Neti Neti". Not this not that not any THING whatsoever. What never changes, the natural eternal state, is not an object that a subject can possess.  The Real is beyond both subject and object. As Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj says, "The I Am alone is certain. The I am this or that is not". And, "Give up all questions except one: Who Am I?"

I am reminded of the classic "Is there free will or is everything determined?" Two answers. 1. Yes. 2. No. The point is, of course, these philosophical constructs, conceptual edifices built on nothing, are neither true nor false. They are concepts. Is the image and appearance of a battleship made of clouds appearing in the sky real? It LOOKS real but close up is seen to be merely wisps of cloud. Like the mirage, which has no water. So the question a seeker might be led finally to ask is, What is real? What never changes? So when these questions arise one might well ask, who is asking the question? Who am I? What am I? And seeing through awareness itself that no answer will ever satisfy. Only seeing with naked being that all concepts are as dreams and no story is the actual Reality of timeless Absolute Freedom can satisfy the yearning for Home. "The menu ain't the meal."

In my direct experience, not theory, when all is finally clear, it is clear that there is no word that can capture the wordless Being-Awareness that we are. And that we never needed to awaken or get liberated. We already always are that; the seeking merely seemed to obfuscate that being-awareness that we truly are.

Freedom's just another word for no one left to choose. :-)

Wow. So many words to talk about that which is clear and present and beyond words! Where's my coffee?



08 September


Q: I had a Oneness experience many years ago in Vietnam, (during probably my most boring period over there).  Had never heard of such a thing and just a couple weeks later I was sent to an LZ where I came across Alan Watts' "The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are.” Well this triggered another such experience except this time I tried to possess it, to keep it for myself.  And, like quicksilver through my fingers, it was gone.


This is a very familiar story. Many seekers have had such misleading occurrences happen and they are then really fooled into believing there are such “things” as “enlightenment” and “Liberation.”


When awareness of the nature of reality dawns in the mind of the seeker, that there is no such thing as permanent “enlightenment” and that any experience, of oneness or any other “state,” must necessarily pass away, the seeking begins to fade away. The realization begins to dawn that ONLY what NEVER CHANGES, never comes and goes, could be the Eternal State, the natural freedom of Being itself. The "experience of oneness" is ACTUALLY, TWO-NESS: There’s the experience and the one experiencing! So in actual fact it is a fake, a delusion of mind masking as “oneness.”


In Oneness there is NO experiencer and NOTHING experienced. There is only the experience-ING. Then when it is pointed out that any experience comes and goes in awareness and awareness itself is never changing, always clear, present and open, allowing whatever appears to come and go, then it’s coming up to “game over,” and being completely free of suffering.


Then the clarity of the simple seeing that what we are is Presence-Awareness and that the personal entity is actually nonexistent becomes the living experience-ING. This is an impersonal occurring and not anything attainable or hold-onto-able, of course: There are NO enlightened “people.” A “me” being “enlightened” is the ultimate oxymoron, because the “one who seeks enlightenment” is nothing more substantial than an idea of an "I" who can “get” something he or she is not. You already always were, will be, and are Awareness. Just that and nothing else.


At any rate my life since has in a particular sense. One of "suffering", looking for the door to that experience again (while I raised a family).   Along the way, I tried to vanquish my ego, which I perceived to be the primary obstacle to my quest, doubted my goodness (purity of heart), my discipline. Meditation seemed like taking a very roundabout road to get to where I already was. 


All suffering is for a personal “entity,” and there quite simply is NO such thing anywhere. Look for the separate person, do the investigation in the way the sages have always pointed out, and you find that the “me” is conspicuously ABSENT! This is very good news, because it ends the suffering once and for good. When the false is seen AS false, there is no longer any urge or motivation to “dissolve or destroy” it. How can you kill a ghost? Try to capture a phantom. It’s like trying to grasp a cloud. Impossible. But each must find this out for himself or herself.


The investigation is key… looking for mister or miz me and finding that there ain’t no such actual separate entity, not in you, nor in anyone else, puts paid to the seeking and the concomitant suffering. You simply wake up to the dream, and the realization arises that there never was a problem for the Real You, the Unborn Naked Awareness, and that all suffering was imagined owing to a mistake in identification … the idea that “I am a body, I am a mind, I am a person, a me. All that happened was an innocent error usually around the age of two, wherein a thought that bubbled into awareness from nowhere was believed to be a real thing that described an individual separated from the “world out there.” Clear up the mistake, root out the false cause, and the whole house of cards collapses, leaving what is always present, never changing, your True Natural State of Being-Awareness … just That and nothing else.


Correcting the error is simple; a little investigation is all it takes. Don’t let anyone tell you that suffering is “just part of what is.” That is a useless piece of nondual crap. Suffering can end, and has ended for countess seekers who take up this commitment to completion in earnest. “Sailor” Bob Adamson’s search ended in the presence of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj 30 years ago, and he has since pointed out what is real and shown the way to see the false and discard it for many, many fortunate “former seekers.” Now with the advent of the Internet the good news is spreading all over the world. And you are the beneficiary. Look: It's even happening in rural Oklahoma!


So please just take up these simple pointers: You know that you are aware, you are being. That being is inescapable. Then challenge the lies the mind tells you … don’t keep accepting the false assumption that you are a separate entity. Freedom is what you are and you can taste it. Make that your living reality. You have friends who have done the investigation and can help to shed light on the pathless path and that is most fortunate indeed. Use them!


Perhaps you can help me understand my enigma and help me take the next step toward "dis-llusion-ment"! 


These pointers can take the seeker beyond the need for "help." See how these work as you get into them with some earnestness. Do keep in touch; feel free write or call with any questions or doubts or “yeah-buts.” Let’s get this done once and for good. Thanks for writing, see you soon.


Follow-up: I recall looking at the mountains in the distance and suddenly becoming aware that they were ME...i was THEM, no separation!  The mud puddle i noticed was a 'perfect" expression of the natural world i was part of.  Even the army vehicles, concertina wire, i associated with "war", were simply, "man's folly" if i had reached for a definition at the time.  A guy i knew slightly, (I had only been in that locale a couple weeks) walked across the compound and i knew HE was ME too, i was him, in a “personal me” costume and my love for this stranger was quite boundless.  I didn't think of "God" or anything but a sense of total unity with everything.  I walked around by myself for a good while so i could avoid words or thoughts that i sensed would inevitably give boundary and an end to this feeling i was encompassed by.   I may mis-identify what occurred at the time, but it seemed distinctly "not" a part of my a matter of fact, i realized "this" was actually what existed when my mind ceased it's eternal internal & infernal monologue.


This is more (probably needless) info ,in case i didn't express myself well in my initial e-mail to you. 


Well wow, that is amazing. And, that too was an appearance in Timeless being. Key word. WAS. What never changes? That's what we are pointing out. I had nearly exactly the same thing happen for several weeks in 2002. When it faded I was REAL interested in getting that back, and that ultimately brought great suffering. Nothing that comes and goes can be The Eternal Timeless Witnessing Presence...


Not to denigrate that seeing, either "yours" or "mine," which clearly was (is) a natural being-seeing of Unicity... yet still that is a “spiritual experience” and NOT the Ultimate, the Eternal  Reality ... and, it's just that any attachment to that as something to strive to "attain again" will no doubt be a cul-de-sac that can keep the mind spinning in dualism.


In what we are pointing to there is no yesterday, no tomorrow, no today. Spacelike, beginningless and endless. That is the Real "Natural State."


In any event your expression here is beautifully put and has the unmistakable aroma of authenticity.


Feel free to stay in touch as Spirit moves. See you soon.



06 September
"At present your being is mixed up with experiencing. All you need is to unravel being from the tangle of experiences. Once you have known pure being, without being this or that, you will discern it among experiences and you will no longer be misled by names and forms. Self-limitation is the very essence of personality." 
-Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

MK Wrote, in response to this quote:


Thanks again for your ability to unerringly discern what seems to be going on here. That is it, being IS mixed up with experiencing!  Perhaps the pointing and the knowing of this will lead to being pure being.


It is not that being will ever be "led to." That "pure being" IS your own Awareness of Presence and That can't be escaped!!!!!


Try to NOT BE. That is patently IMPOSSIBLE!


Whether the mind calls it being or pure being, it's ever and only always BEING. There ain't no such thing as Not Being. BEING IS. 24/7!


Being is That Undeniable Presence that IS, and the ordinary awareness that YOU EXIST is all there is to this. This is Freedom Itself and YOU are THAT. The Natural State.


You cannot say that you are not Being. You must BE to say ANYTHING.


Try to get away from being. You are awareness ... you KNOW that YOU ARE, BEING, and that is absolutely and totally inescapable.

The thought "maybe this will lead to Being is arising in that very BEING.


I would suggest we talk one to one, phone is fine. Let's END the confusion and END the search for what You already Always Really ARE: Naked Awareness, the Silent Witness of all the claims of the ego to this one you call “me” being a self-centered "person" who believes in their own lack and limitation! It's all the lies of the ignorant mind. YOU are not ignorant; the MIND IS ignorance! And YOU are NOT that MIND.


The ego might find this pointing to be confronting. If so LOOK: Who is confronted? Only an ego can feel threatened or believe that something is wrong or something is missing. LOOK: Until you get present to that YOU are the Empty Meaningless Not-Knowing Space-Like Awareness you will go round and round with all these bloody concepts and never stop seeking.


Tat Tvam Asi.


That Thou Art.


That I AM that Krishna Jesus Buddha Nisargadatta Wheeler Greven Ramana YOU are is The One I AM.


Stop pretending to be what you are NOT. Stop refusing stubbornly to be what you ARE.




There is Freedom, Love, Peace and Completion.


But not for "you." Because "you" do not exist as a separate 'person' anywhere ... it's all false beliefs and those beliefs are all that make for suffering and confusion about this spiritual crap. Give up all your "spiritual knowing." BE what you are, which is easy as pie because you already are Being!


That is the bottom line.


Until you are free of the drug [of self-identification] , all your  religions and sciences, prayers and yogas are of no use to you, for, based on a mistake, they strengthen it.   


      - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj



In the sage words of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi: "The thought 'Who am I?' will destroy all other thoughts, and like the stick used for stirring the burning pyre, it will itself in the end get destroyed. Then, there will arise Self-Realization."


There is a lovely paradox in all this: While there is in Truth no such thing as a separate “I’ and you already ARE what you seek, as long as there is the false BELIEF in a “me, myself, I” then this investigation is clearly called for.


Keep going. Stay in touch, and don’t refuse to BE what you are: Presence-Awareness, Just That.


Only Love, Always, from The One I Am that You are





05 September

I think all of these "Doership vs. Non-Doership & Free Will vs. Not Free Will" controversies can lead to stagnation...


Is there free will or is everything determined?




Hey, WAIT! Is there free will or is everything determined?




“I think … “ Look and see: WHO is saying “I think?” Find that one if you can. You will not, because all that is happening is thoughts; there is NO thinker. But that is where the investigation comes into play: You must discover this for yourself. It is NOT a matter of belief or acceptance, NOT a nice philosophy, NOT a system or religion! It is SELF-Discovery and this can only happen for the so-called individual when there is earnestness and direct examination within oneself to find out what is real, and what is false.


Either way is a story only! Neither is valid nor invalid. What sees the story arising and disappearing? What sees the seeing? This space-like Awareness, Naked Being. That thou art. When the stories are seen AS stories and not taken on board as "my" life, "my" emotion, "my" doing or not doing, then the illusion of doership or control is seen to be an illusion.


This is the movement of Consciousness, from the unreal to the Real, so to say. But all that is is more STORY! Ha!! The only question that matters is, are you suffering? If so, see if you can find the “one who suffers.” That is an idea of a “me” -- the root cause in suffering is simply the belief in a controller, an entity that is believed to be able to “make its life work out the way it wants,” it’s the core belief in the idea of a separate "me" ... get down and sever that sucker at the taproot. Then (really, NOW) there is what you are … empty and meaningless like the sky … and the story goes on or not, like the weather, and no matter, who cares!!??


From the absolute view - I know (..not from my own experience until now-I admit!) you’re right - but as long as one feels in separation (as a person) it is better to assume "temporarily";-] to have "free will" and DO with every ounce of effort the inquiry!


Sure. Why NOT!?





4 September
A comment on the ending suffering video: “Wake up call" sounds great! I also use suffering as a "bell" - to look and see, what is is here - what never changes - where is my (better "the") focus - what is clear shining - what is here, where I locate the "me" - not "WHO am I" but "WHAT am I" - because the "WHO" implies that there is someBODY, a person, but yet it is obvious that there is no entity, but some... - can’t find words but it is aware presence - conscious Beingness.

What am I? Where am I? From whence did I come? Who am I? Whatever format you like! All these "formats" led back to ... no thing. I AM. What IS That I Am? No Thing. Now: Can something come from no thing? "One" who is still seeking might ponder that ....


The next question may be obvious … or not! “Who or WHAT “uses suffering as a “bell…” ?? NOT “having a go at you.” Just another cut at the false identity that “thinks it’s doing inquiry!”





2 September


Q: Nisargadatta said, “The perceived cannot be the perceiver. Whatever you see, hear or think of, remember - you are not what happens, you are he to whom it happens.” Krishnamurti frequently said the opposite- that "the observer is the observed."  I take it to mean that there is no separation between oneself and what is observed.   Is their an actual distinction between the seeming contradiction?


Here’s what comes up about that: What Nisargadatta was pointing to is the (ultimately false) idea that what is perceived is merely an object arising to a subject and the perceiver cannot be that which is perceived, but to me that’s a (necessary) baby step. That pointer is to begin to demolish the idea that what one is, is a perceived body or mind ... an OBJECT. Later he goes on to point out that all separation is only an idea (a fasle belief!) held in the mind. And that what is ACTUAL is that there is NO separation in reality. But Nisargadatta met seekers at their own level, so to say.


However: What good is understanding all these arcane concepts unless the suffering has been broken through and at least abated if not entirely ENDED? That, to my sensibilities, is the point of all this … ending suffering, ending the search for this false “enlightenment” or “realization. This seeking for oneness or wholeness IS the suffering. And my commitment is to share what worked here to end that suffering search, but right now. Right NOW.


So: Are you suffering? If not then what is your interest in these concepts and pointers? I am not “having a go at you.” It’s just that the round and round of conceptual conversation is NOT EVER going to break the bondage of the false until there’s a heartfelt resonance and looking at this for oneself. All the pointers are crap until they are taken AS simply pointers -- rather than beliefs or “truths.”


So what’s missing for you? Are YOU suffering in any way, shape or form? If so let’s get deep into THAT. Fair enough?


From here what is seen is that what is actually happening is the observe-ING. The conceptual mental constructs of an observe-ER and an "object observe-ED is the "overlay" of thoughts that arise IN Naked Awareness. It's patently FALSE. This Pure Naked Awareness is appearing AS Aliveness, Livingness, Consciousness, whatever label you like ... but Awareness Itself is Empty yet Full, Nothing yet Everything, Not One Not Two. Utterly paradoxical!


I'd say what Krishnamurti was pointing to has also been said as, "Awareness and the content of Awareness are NOT TWO."  But right now, who cares? Who is wondering, comparing, analyzing, setting one  teacher’s conceptual tools up against another teacher’s conceptual tools? WHO? As some say, give up all questions except one:” Who (or What) am I?”


Oops … More is coming up here to say about the unsayable :-) … how strange! LOL


Awareness arises AS Manifestation -- Awareness is Naked and Unadorned and yet, It appears as all things ... so manifestation (the "observed") is NOT apart from the "observer." So you are spot on in the clear pointer, as you wrote, there is no separation between oneself and what is observed. But this is NOT "The Truth! It IS --  as you (hopefully) realize -- ONLY a "pointer" to That Inexpressible NON-Conceptual Self-Knowing Awareness-Presence or "Is-Ness." No words will ever be "right" or correct" or "true" ... Presence-Awareness is all, and That is what is being pointed out: Simply This as-it-is. In short, THIS IS IT. Full Stop.


LOL...TOO many words -- for Just This Presence!


UH OH ... HERE COMES MORE! The Truth IS totally paradoxical and impossible to grasp or express: The mind will try to figure it out but in the end it must give up as what is pointed out is Transcendence, beyond all beyond nothing beyond even the beyond … and That is NOT a state or experience that is "ATTAINED" BY A "SEEKER-MIND."

As a friend, David Carse, puts it, "Does Exist. Can NOT be "expressed." Yet expression HAPPENS, quite naturally ... through various organisms appearing in this manifest-dream n... like weather in the empty sky .... but there is no "person" expressing.

Seems clear "here" that this is known where "you" are :-)) but if there IS any suffering then let's have a look! All suffering is imagination on ly and imagination no longer grips the seeker when the investigation is done.

The essence of this might be said as “NOT KNOWING. Unknowing Naked Awareness IS. Presencing always wherever your bodymind is. All else is a story… appearing in You-As-Presence. Weather in an empty sky is not apart from the sky yet never touched the sky. YOU as True-Nature are akin to that Empty Sky.

Thanks for a really GREAT question, AND an awesome Pointer, Mack! Indeed: There's NO ACTUAL No separation! "Separateness, "Two-Nesss," IS ONLY a concept or false belief. And a belief only stands due to lack of investigation. Who or what is the "one who believes, or not!!??"



31 August

Q: Thanks so much for that (phone) talk. It really makes a difference. I'm so grateful that you took  some time for me. The mind does relax a lot when it has been confronted with living clarity and truth.


It’s a pleasure. Now, just stay with this Naked Presence, your own Awareness that YOU ARE, your undeniable inescapable Exitsence ... Is-Ness.


Don't buy the mind's story that you are anything other than That ... Pure, Unfettered, Naked, Ordinary Awareness.


Full Stop!





30 August


Q: Thank you very very much for all the pointers being offered from there (here) to here! Yes, I am with you on this.  It has been seen for a while, but the doubts (thoughts) have been quite torrential and seemingly seem to obscure the simplicity of being (true and free).  Needless to say, intense identification happens (with the story) and again being appears seemingly "lost".   In other words cant say all is beauty and peace.  Moments of peace happen and is known.  Identification happens and is known.  Thats the way it is and has been. Thanks again, and please keep the pointers coming.  Truly appreciate how you seem to unerringly pick up the best of the best.


A: Being-Awareness IS That which knows the various movements of mind ... that is, simply put, what You really are. Take your stand as That ... Naked Presence-Awareness. All is well in That ... the Unborn "Buddha-Mind." That which knows that it can or can't say 'all is beauty and peace' IS the Self-Knowing Awareness. That Thou Art. Can you know that there is peace OR turmoil without Awareness? Your being is inescapable! You must first BE to "know" or "experience" anything.


YOU ... the True Self ... ARE Impersonal Self-Knowing Awareness, just that. Don't get caught by a mind story that claims to be other than That. The appearance "seems" real but only seems so, it is not, in the actuality of right now. What is wrong with right now unless "you" arise as a thought story and think or believe any ideas of lack or limitation, that arise in YOU ... space-like Awareness???


Existence Is. Awareness IS. All that is appearing is a story that this peace comes and goes. Drop that story like a hot potato!


What NEVER comes and goes? You as Your Self. Being, just that. Full Stop.



29 August 2007
Q: I'm wondering if you would share your "awakening" experience with me and also what you experience now? I guess I'm asking for a before and after picture in a way.
Sure. I was sitting in meditation. Then there was no one sitting, no meditation, absolutely no thing whatsoever, and no one to know that there was no thing whatsoever. Yet the Isness of Light was WHAT IS … Awareness with no separation of Being and Awareness, no separation of Awareness and an aware “observer witness,” NOTHING was outside of THAT … ONE ... and when awareness returned to Being “aware of itself” this was seen as absolute freedom, absolute bliss, absolute love.
BUT: The story of a “me” having “an experience” can distract from the essential pointers, so just  drop all that and look. The story of what happens to some “other person” is irrelevant to your OWN insight, which arises when you are looking where the pointers are pointing … in and as Naked Awareness.
This seeing can only be described in “negative” terms: Not this, not that, not anything. In the most profound and unimaginable way IT WAS SEEN BY NO ONE THAT NOTHING IS HAPPENING, NOTHING HAS ACTUALLY EVER HAPPENED. There is absolute knowing (not by a “knower! Or a “witness!”) that there is NO creation, NO dissolution, NO path, NO goal, NO seeker, NO world, NO individual, NO doer; there is, in the Eternal Actuality, NOTHING WHATSOEVER. All that appears is temporary (temporality being a false belief that is like the glue that connects appearances in seeming cause and effect.)
In other words, it happens only NOW. Before there is time (a concept) there is YOU (Timeless Being.)
But don’t for God’s sake believe a word of this! Words are drivel. Look where the words point, to your own knowing existence: The realization here IS the realization there:  YOU ARE. That is all that is pointed to, your aliveness, knowingness, wakefulness, beingness.
Words! THIS is beyond language, beyond syntax, beyond eloquence and elegance of phrasing. In THIS there is NO yesterday, NO tomorrow, NO today. Even “NOW” is a concept and NOT the actual. Even “HERE” is only a concept and NOT the actual!
There is no permanence or significance to ANY happening, even a seemingly profound “spiritual” one. Awareness, your True Nature, is never ever affected or touched in any way by ANY happening. The true test, the truest question I can suggest, is the realize, right now, is to ask yourself, "what never changes?" and to understand that no experience of any seeming importance or “great magnitude” is what is being pointed to … and that anything that comes and goes simply cannot be the Eternal Being that You are.
Before and after? For “me?” The assumption is that there is a “person” called “Charlie” who stands apart from all that is. CHALLENGE THESE ASSUMPTIONS. There is a false premise here so the true response cannot fit because the question itself comes out of an inaccurate assumption!
There is the mythical idea of “self improvement” and “benefit to the person.” It cannot be overstated that this Awareness that is pointed to offers NO benefit! It … Awareness, Being, God, whatever label you like, IS … IT is simply what IS. Yet it does appear that suffering ends as this non-separation-awareness is seen to be what is actually ever fresh and always so.
Part of what happened (but ONLY as a "story!") is that the Charlie character seemingly became more compassionate, kinder, more empathic, more about serving others than grabbing for the fast buck. But the understanding is, that is just what happened in this dream-story! The "event" would appear to have "caused" these changes. But that is NOT the case in Reality. The story of cause and effect is just that ... a story! It's a MYTH. And a myth is good for a smile. That’s all.
Anything, EVERY THING, that comes and goes is an APPEARANCE in this Presence That Is. IT Is. All else is the Dream World of the seeker. “You and me” are appearing holographic characters made of Being … the Light. It’s all illusory, all smoke and mirrors,
So this totally false notion of some “change” or “improvement” before and after “awakening” is just more story and patently unreal.
As The Buddha said, “Life is suffering. Nirvana is peace. And these are NOT TWO.” All that happens, simply happens. Suffering happens. Perhaps inquiry happens. Then perhaps suffering ends. All that simply .. happens. There is NO doer, no author, no cause or these effects. It is all HAPPENING!
There is no person who is enlightened. There is no “personal awakening.” There is no such “object” as self-realization. There is ONLY Being-Awareness, APPEARING AS nothing AND everything, and the apparent life moves between nothing and everything, between wisdom and love. The Ocean, always only water, appears as waves and droplets, but is always only water. This always only Being-Awareness-Presence appears as knowledge and ignorance, as love and fear, as hatred and friendliness. All that is, IS That. Yes, even these “persons!” As “he” and/or “she” are. That thou art: Always Only That.
The danger in focussing on an experience of an "event of awakening" is it sets up the false idea that some experience like this MUST happen "for there to be enlightenment." It's already happened!  You are already the naked nonconceptual “ I AM”, already “enlightened.” There is only a false idea that there is something missing, something wrong; something more or better or different than what is that could or should be attained. Attained by whom?

The emperor has no clothes.
Also, you ask, what’s different now, “after the event?” In TRUTH, Nothing. What I Am is never-changing, always-so. The same is true about "you." What is it about “you and me” that never changes?
Keep looking for what never changes and drop all your expectations and desires for a “someday event.’ There is no someday. All there is, is what is. IS. The simple wakefulness that is reading this IS all that is being pointed to. The I AM "in you" IS That. You are what you seek. That is all there is to this. Be what you are … Prsence-Awareness, empty and clear. Just That and nothing else.

THAT is Love.

28 August
Followup from E.P. ... you have been a great help for me...thank you really!!

You are very welcome, E.P. Your own openenss is a great gift ... you might call that gift "Grace." Stay in touch as your Self moves that to arise. Love to you. -charlie




28 August

EP writes, I was wondering....the beauty of Truth is that ANYBODY, in any external condition (miserable, sick, wealthy etc.) has the same opportunity to recognize himself as peace, since it's present in any living being. It's just a matter of recognition.


In a way, yes. However, the story of “persons” in various “conditions” is ONLY a story. There are no persons in Naked Awareness as-It-is.
This sets me free from HAVING to struggle in order to maintain these external condition up.


You are getting to the heart of this now. There is NO suffering or struggle in what you TRULY  are… Aware Presence, or Presence-Awareness. Livingness goes on effortlessly in this Space-Like Unbounded Presence, your Impersonal True-Nature.


But when you assert “this sets ME free” there is still a little mental confusion arising. WHO is this “me” that has “been set free?”


This Naked Freedom is NOT personal. That does not “set any ‘me’ free.” The “me’ is ONLY a false idea of a “real separate person” who “was bound and is now free.” There IS no such thing, as the self-investigation reveals. (As you know the “investigation” is carried out through questioning every thought and feeling… “Who thinks? Who feels?" And so on: Ultimately, “Who am I?”  .... Accepting NO answer.)


So using language (inherently limited) as best we can to point, let us drop “I am free” in favor of “there is Freedom.” That gets closer to the Reality of This, but of course these words are still ONLY a concept, a pointer. Don’t start worshipping pointers; they are NOT the “truth.”


Don’t believe a word of any of this!


In any event, You (the Real You, the "Naked I", which the mind translates, using language, to “I Am,”) are already always freedom itself, and were never bound; the cage of thoughts was never actually real. Freedom is an impersonal recognition of that and NOT a “personal attainment.” When some person announces, “I am free,” I cringe, because its clear in the space of freedom itself that there is no such thing as a “free person!” That’s the final trap; it does seem that many go through this particular stage (including this writer, “to whom” it did seem to happen, in this dream.)


Remember: “Find what is it that never sleeps and never wakes, and whose pale reflection is our sense of ‘I’." (Sri Nisargadatta).


Just see this from nowhere -- right now: Knowing - that IMPERSONAL knowing-ness - that what You are, the Real Infinite I-Ness, IS that Naked Awareness in which "you" appear ... is a blow to the false from “The Naked I” … freedom-presence itself. But THAT I (“I - I” distinct from “I am me”) is NON-conceptual. If there is still a subtle as yet un-fully-examined belief in two-ness (as in “I know who I am”) that can (and nearly always will) claim the knowing as “my” knowing, and that is the subtle resistance of the ego-idea to its own demise. To paraphrase the poet “Ram Tzu,” you seek personal ascendance where there is (in Reality) only Impersonal Transcendence. 


So: Don't let the ego CLAIM that as "ITS" attainment, my friend. THIS ... Seeing with Naked Awareness ... is, as we always point out over and over, NOT "personal." Just see that claiming mechanism operating through Naked Awareness, and this …  Seeing …  is enough to toast the false and then (now) only the Real is left, so to speak. But THAT, Real Awareness, was ACTUALLY never missing. What a joke – and the joke’s on “me.”


All right? So, in summary, THIS SEEING is the clear Presence of Awareness ... and the ABSENCE of the person who "is aware." Just a little caution here to not let the ego claim any big enlightenment; that can bring suffering again in a flash. Stay vigilant. And remember, the idea of a person, even a person called "anybody," is false. There is NO person anywhere, not in you nor anywhere else. The person is a dream, a phantom. Seeing with Naked Awareness IS the RE-Cognition. THAT Essence is RE Cognized, but only now. Right now you are That. Period, Full Stop. You are seeing this. All conditions evaporate in That Seeing and there is nothing left to resist, attain, avoid or seek. That Naked Awareness IS the Home you never left.


I mean, knowing who I am, means I have all I need for the moment. In any condition!!! That's a beautiful realization!


Now you know. So stay put, and don't let the mind-ego story convince you that its lies are true ever again.


27 August

A Friend writes: (Remember the song?)



Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
Let's break out the booze and have a ball
If that's all there is


That really sad song by Peggy Lee could be America's anthem.   We can almost hear that refrain humming ever so faintly in the background as we try to fill the bottomless void that we refer to as "me." 


Ahhhh. What if THIS is as good as it gets?!? LOL.


Reminds me of an old New Yorker cartoon by Gahan Wilson: Two monks sitting in Zazen meditation. One old, wizened, stunningly existentially resigned -- like Sartre when he wrote "No Exit" or "The Nausea." One young monk, a questioning look. The caption is, "Nothing happens next. This is it."


This existential despair in that Peggy Lee song bespeaks the "half baked" approach to Nonduality, where emptiness is taken on board as "my" emptiness. Despair inevitably ensues! So long as there is a person, a false entity, at play, then that entity when faced with its own inauthenticity, will nearly always rail in defense, moaning about the "emptiness and meaningless" of "my" life and life itself. This apparent emptiness of "me" is a disaster of epic proportions to the ego ... being confronted by it's own unreality, it struggles to maintain "order" and "volition." Hello … been there done that got the bloody "Prozac" T-shirt. There were years ... decades! ... of deep depression when this idea of "me being nothing" was believed. 


That pointer that “this is it” and "life is empty and meaningless" ... only a conceptual POINTER and not "the truth" ... was taken on board as a description of "my life." That is adding meaning where there is none: That is often the ego-mind mechanism's last line of defense as its citadel of concepts is being stormed by Naked Truth! Hey: It is empty and meaningless that its empty and meaningless, to paraphrase Zen.


There is truly no way out of that ... because the one who wants out is a phantom!! That "one" ... the "person..." is merely an idea appearing in mind and believed in as a real separate entity. When this is challenged (IF it is challenged, big IF there) then it may be seen through as the emperor who has no clothes. What it seems to take in some instances, many instances, is the questioning and challenging of ALL believed-in identification with anything at all. The Self is NON-Conceptual Aliveness-Wakefulness, Immediate Naked Awareness Presencing and appearing AS all that seemingly IS in this Dream-Play of Consciousness!


This can happen as the unfolding of a natural loving self-examination, an innate curiosity to find out, “what makes 'me' suffer this way?” But there is no “one size fits all." In true nondual spirituality the path is made by the Inner Guru, which can be conceived by the mind as a Naked Presence or Unadorned Awareness. As Nisargadatta pointed out any “outer guru” or teaching is merely a reflection of that One-Without-a-Second, Presence-Awareness ItSelf, which is the True Guru. That Self-Aware Essence takes the seeker through the false and when that seeming process is complete, there is the Eternal Reality, as It always was, shining in plain sight as that Naked Awareness … just That and nothing else.


But THIS “Nothing” is not the void or “dark night” of the existentialists’ resignation and despair! That Awakeness, Awareness, is a thriving, energetic, motionlessness-moving-aliveness that powers all that appears in this dream of separate beings and ultimately shows that separateness itself to be absolutely insubstantial. This nothing IS Everything. Nothing/Everything ... This Is "Advaita”" NOT TWO. Or "Dzogchen:" The Great Perfection ...NON-Conceptual Naked Presence. To paraphrase Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj: When it is seen there is nothing, that is wisdom. When it is seen there is everything, that is love. And Life moves between these (apparent) two.


In short, THIS Emptiness is FULL with the aliveness of Unconditioned Accepting of all that appears … THAT ... THIS! ... is a loving embracing Nothing that appears AS everything. Again: NOT TWO..


This is impossible for mind to grasp, as mind IS the idea of “I” as apart from “other-than-I” and therefore merely another of the endless array of insubstantial "objects-in-a-mirror" that arise in Wakeful Awareness. That Awareness IS what was sought, and along the way if there is despair, than that is what appears as a seeming obscuration to the infinite Isness of your own Being. But these are merely as clouds and storms in the Empty Sky. Appearances, imagination, scenes showing up in the mirror, insubstantial, temporal. No problem at all with any of that unless “you” are there to "think about it.”


My friend goes on to say, “We are entertaining ourselves to death and missing it all. What we are missing when Zen, with its gift for understatement, tell us, "just this," is this very alive now when all the concern for "me" mysteriously falls away and we struck by the very wonder of it all.” 


That is a very lovely way to express The Wonder of Naked Presence arising as all that IS in the appearing-world.  Then finally as the search is ended and it is clear that there is no separate "me" or “we” and only This Wonder, Oneness' game of hide-and-seek has ended and here is Life, being lived full on, with endless passion and peace. Allee Allee In Free!


Thanks for this! It serves as a beautiful reminder of the Reality of Self and the unreality of any separate “me” or “we.” Well done, my friend. Keep 'em coming!





27 August

M.H. Writes, The suggestion you made on our phone call to go look for the "I" triggered a lot of questioning and looking at assumptions I had previously taken for granted. Clearly the "I" was nowhere to be found.


So far so good! And if that "I" was nowhere to be found, could it have ever existed as an objective reality? No. It was only a false assumption. A belief the mind held in an entity, despite there being NO evidence of its asserted independent existence.


This coincided with a couple of days where there appeared to be a perception of reality that I had not encountered before. There seemed to be just awareness and everything was part of that, including the person I had assumed myself to be. It was a very peaceful state which lasted a couple of days.


Now a little bit of confusion creeps into this clear seeing: Ordinary Naked Awareness is NOT a special “state” or “experience” that gets made “permanent.” That’s the “holy grail” delusion of the seeker-mind that wants eternal stasis, a place of all peace no pain. That is NEVER going to happen… what is being pointed to is the Awareness, stillness, silence, devoid of anything, timeless and spaceless yet ever-present as immediate wakefulness! THAT is what YOU are in Reality. THAT is NON conceptual. NOT an experience, NOT an object. NOT a perception!! Perception is of a false perceiver. That triad of perceiver/object of perception/perceiving is FALSE. It's imagination only. 


In the perceive-ING, ordinary see-ING with Naked Awareness, there is NO subject/object split; that subject/object dichotomy is the false belief in a separate self-center, a locus of attention of you like. The point is that it is all FALSE. All experiences are imaginary and conceptual appearances like dreams in sleep, that come to pass, not to stay.


Naturally when it faded (or I came back), I wanted to maintain that.


That story is ONLY a story and plainly false: IT (Awareness) does not fade. YOU do not come back. You as a separate “me” that “comes back” do not exist! All that is a bunch of thoughts, based on a belief in two-ness, separateness, me and other-than-me.


I realized however that this was the same old seeking and that anything that was an experience was not it.


Good. Now don’t forget that! All that happened is a thought appeared. Then the thought got fixated on as “I.” That “I” is ONLY a thought and is NOT what you are, the Ordinary Aware Presence of being in which that thought arrives and leaves like a cloud in the clear sky. As Nisargadatta put it, "What was born must die. Only the unborn is deathless. Find what is it that never sleeps and never wakes, and whose pale reflection is our sense of  "I."


In recent days there appears to be just seeing, hearing, feeling etc. It seems it is all happening in what I am.


Right On, That is what is pointed out here.


When struggle, thought or potential conflict situations arise, there seems to be a relaxing back into the seeing, hearing, feeling etc. However I am not doing this. It simply happens.


Your Seeing and Understanding of this is perfect, as evidenced by that sentence. That expression is is BANG ON. Full stop right here. Naturally, THAT TOO is merely an appearance in what you are. Awareness remains pristine, clear and untouched by all these movements of mind.


All you might be dealing with here is a bit of residual conceptual misunderstanding about what is being pointed to. Naked Awareness IS the seeing, and That is never “off.” The idea that there is an “I” “not doing it” is simply another movement of thought-energy arising in the Aware Presence that is the True Reality. That is NON conceptual, NON eperiencable, NOT knowable, not attainable, not separated in any way …. That IS, Simply, Naked Presence, Aware and Self-Knowing. Now you KNOW. These are labels that point to the unnameabe. And, of course, the label is NOT what is being pointed to!


To underscore the actuality: Seeing with Naked Awareness is already always happening here and now. Ordinary Awareness IS. You are That. Just That. Full Stop! You are seeing This clearly now. That is all there is to this! Simplicity itself. Ordinary Wakeful Awareness, Naked Presence – these are pointing to what you ARE. You are NOT an experience or a concept. This is Not-Knowing Beingness Itself. One-Without-A-Second.


Ordinary Wakeful Awareness, Naked Presence – these are pointing to what you ARE. You are NOT an experience or a concept. This is Not-Knowing Beingness Itself. One-Without-A-Second.

After so much seeking I tend to be a little skeptical about these experiences. 


WHO is skeptical??


However there does appear to be something different about the simple awareness of seeing, hearing, feeling, touching etc. It does not appear to be something outside of me that I am seeking, but rather something which includes me and everything else.


Though there is a validity as a pointing to the real in what you are sharing, the idea that there is a ‘me and an outside of me,” are merely thoughts, movements of Presence … form and formless are Not Two. Drop all that now; just allow (in a manner of speaking) the natural statelessness of Self Liberation Through Seeing With Naked Awareness to arise naturally as the clouds of thought-forms come and go. Only THAT … the Awareness that NEVER changes, NEVER comes or goes anywhere, is The Reality of Naked Presence. Your true nature, Being, Full On, Just That. Full Stop..

Anyway, we shall see how this unfolds. Thanks again for your help Charlie, and If you have any additional pointers I would certainly be very interested in reading them.


Chew on these a bit and let’s stay in touch. Thanks for a good, clear question. Now drop the questions and the questioner and just BE what you are. Naked Aliveness, Throbbing Loving Spacelike Presence-Awareness. Just That. Nothing Else.




27 August

B: wrote, As much as possible, I am resting with my attention on Awareness and allowing everything to be as it is, naturally.


This does sound good! However, right here now there is one point of confusion in what you share: The attention does not go onto or leave Awareness. Attention is a facet of the mind -- an idea of a person with attention to place or remove somewhere --and that mind is ONLY an idea (or an object if you like) that arises IN Awareness.


Awareness is always Here ... always Immediate ... Always On, always Presencing Now ... never absent! Try to escape awareness! Can't be done. It's invincible and undeniable. THAT is of the nature of Silence, Clarity, Freedom, Aliveness, "Cognizing Emptiness" (as some say to point to That) ... and what we call "attention" is a thing, that comes and goes. As you are seeing. Attention is an aspect of the (false) self-center, which again is but an appearance in That which is Real ... Presence, Being, Awareness.... all these are merely labels for the Absolute Silent Stillness which allows all that appears to show up. Like images in a mirror, which cannot exist apart from the mirror and yet never touch the stainless clarity of the mirror. In the metaphor Naked Presence Awareness is the mirror and the appearing phenomenal multitudinous universes are the reflections appearing. Thou Art The Mirror. All that appears is a reflection OF that stainless naked mirror, in the metaphor.


So: Attention is an object that appears and disappears in That...  That is always simply here ... just seeing that Awareness is That which IS (Noumenon) ... the know-ing Presence ... that registers that the "attention" and all the rest of what appears to be is moving or still... all of that seeming manifestation is called Phenomenality, that which appears to the mind to be real but on investigation is seen to be a phantom, an illusion.


All there is, is Perfect Stillness, seeming to move only through false beliefs. Simple to see through when examined through the simple naked presence of your own natural formless timeless stateless Beingness ... clear and empty, suffused with energy-aliveness-intelligence.


Clearly Naked Awareness is No Thing. Now: Can a thing come from No Thing? Look at that one through naked awareness.


Chew on all this a bit and let me know what you see, OK?


25 August

Q: I've seen Tony Parsons saying that from the free flowing child's wonder world, us humans get into, by 2 years of age, a stage of looking for pleasure and avoiding pain.... I mean, what's wrong with that?? As you said to me once, if I have pain, I take painkillers!! Just natural...did he meant something different?


That, you’ll have to ask Tony about.
I'm getting quite worried, 'cause I'm likely to look for pleasure quite often!!!! What's wrong with that?


What’s right or wrong with anything? Nothing until YOU show up and think about it. That “you” is what needs to be investigated: Is it real? Does it actually exist as a separate entity at all!?


What Tony is pointing to is the arrival of the idea of a separate "me" that happens in virtually every organism around the age of two or three. Note we are saying the IDEA of separation, the NOTION that "there is me here and other-than-me there." That's the break of Being into two (seemingly only, of course! All this is just a story ... but it can be a useful pointer!)


Then the "separate one" tries to heal the separate feeling-sense by seeking pleasure. Avoiding pain is a form of seeking pleasure. All desire is for peace, happiness, love, as that was (and IS) what that child IS and the apparent LOSS of that Oneness-Lovingness IS the suffering.


The problem with focusing on pointers is that these are all CONCEPTS and NOT "truths." Tony makes that very clear if you speak directly with him (as I have on numerous occasions.) There is NO True Pointer and NO True Statement. The closest you will ever come to a true utterance is, "I Don't Know."


I have previously urged you to dwell in "I Don't Know" and simply allow all questions, pointers, ideas, beliefs, notions, feelings, sensations, and emotions, all of it, to be QUESTIONED. Not knowing, we can ask, WHO wants to know? WHO asks these questions?


Peace, TRUE peace, is yours for the asking. But That is NOT available to the mind that wants to know and incessantly and stubbornly refuses to ask these simple questions. 


REFUSE to accept any answer. There is NO answer that makes a difference. ONLY the questions have power, the power to free the mind of the belief in separateness, in a "me" that owns pleasure or pain.


There is no problem, no pain, no pleasure, nothing wrong, nothing missing, in Naked Presence-Awareness. Read the "Self Liberation" page on the website a couple hundred times and then see what is seen naturally as the mind dissolves in Awareness-Oneness.


The way you are looking and the questions you ask will never lead you Home to Being. These concepts are mental constructs and the solution to and the end of suffering is simply NOT going to be found where you are looking.


Chew on this for awhile and keep at the QUESTIONS -- WHO AM I and WHAT IN ME NEVER CHANGES -- until the questioner and the questions die and all that is left is No Thing ... 


PS: You quote me as follows:  "As you said to me once, if I have pain, I take painkillers!!" When there is pain, painkillers may be taken. But the point here is, it's not "my" pain. The idea that it is "my" pain or "my" pleasure IS the suffering. Where is this "me" you say, "owns" the pain? It's a phantom! Get to the source of THAT belief, the belief in a "me" that has taken the pain on board and "owns" that. Meanwhile if there is pain, then take an aspirin. If there is emotional pain, look into professional assistance. Nonduality is not a cure for what ails the organism. It’s freedom from the belief that there is a person identified by its nametag and birthdate.





24 August


EP writes, Just being what this organism is up to be…  Hurt feelings, joyfulness, a mix of emotions, ups and downs, but....WHO SAID IT SHOULDN'T BE?? AS IT IS IS AS IT IS! No egoic involvement, or maybe yes sometimes, even that is out of my control....:)

What's left? 


Not Nothing. Not Everything.

Not emptiness not Fullness.

Neither nonexistent nor eternal

Not subject nor object

Neither Immaculate Nor Vulgar


There It Is NOT. There It IS!


Not One. Not Two.

Neither absent nor present,

Not absence not presence

Not ignorance not wisdom

Neither here nor there,

No mind no being.


Naked Awareness. Just This. Nothing Else.



21 August

D.O. Asks, I believe there is a "me" so why not work from there and keep expanding boundaries until the mind gives it up? Otherwise, it's looking at concepts rather than what I'm actually experiencing.

The suggestion is NOT to work "from a belief in 'me' but to examine that belief. Find out what makes a belief ...  and a believer ... appear to be real?


"There is a me." IS THAT TRUE? Who says? The mind. Thought reinforces itself and keeps the bondage in place. It's a vicious circle! There is at best a lack of real freedom and at worst, sometimes really awful suffering. I speak here from hard  experience, NOT theory.


That belief in such a "thing" as "me" only stands due to lack of investigation. Plus: What is a belief? The acceptance of a concept despite the lack of evidence. Where IS this "me" unless there is a concept, a thought?


I see what you're saying here.........just about the exact opposite of what I've been doing!


Yes. So …. Keep looking!




23 August


Q: Can the sage feel deep depression? I can see there's no me, but feelings arise...


First off, are you assuming there is such a “thing” as a “sage?”


Let’s look: What is a sage?


A four-letter word. That word is a movement of sound in the space of Aware Presence … that which you know to be always here before, during and after thoughts, words, feelings, all that “arises” as you put it.


Depression is, bluntly, FALSE. All suffering is conceptual and therefore impermanent. Nothing that comes and goes can fit the simple test for Eternal Reality: That which is the Unchanging Knowing Presence, the open emptiness that all that arises, arises within. Overlooking this ever-present awareness of being, simply ordinary empty awareness that is PRIOR to all thoughts and stories, IS the ignorance of the dividing mind-stuff.


What some call “the sage” is nothing whatsoever that can be known or experienced. The word, like all words, is pointing to this Awareness that knows no division within Itself. That is all.


Allow that forgetting the Presence to subside, as it does between, before and after every thought and feeling, no matter how “fierce” or “benign.”


The pointer is, what you are is that Aware Presence of Being Itself; everything that arises and subsides appears IN that … like the thunderclouds or tornados or wisps of cumulus appear and disappear along with apparent (conceptual) “time” in that vast, unbounded space of the sky itself.


Let go of trying to understand, know that concepts are not real and only that Unchanging Beingness is true and real … and let this Awareness show you it’s Loving Accepting Presence.





   N E W Jump on the "Absolute Freedom" Blog - HERE

JN writes, I would like to ask you about Nisargadatta’s saying, “There is no birth, there is no death, there is no person, its all a concept its all an illusion.” When I look for the I, I find nothing, no movement and mostly darkness, not scary, it’s fine, but as soon as I open my eyes its like the I reappears. 


As you said, that “I” re-appears. Appearances, when not taken to be “real,” pose no issue. There is no problem anywhere anywhen unless a thought or story of “me” or “I” is believed … the I thought simply POINTS to That Awareness, Being, just Presence, which is never actually missing and allows for all that arises to appear and subside as the passing show. If there is suffering, however, that indicates there is still a subtle, residual belief in a separate person; someone apart from all that is appearing and someone who can attain some realization or freedom. There is not: That one you are calling the “I that reappears,” that is taken as a real separate entity, is also an illusion; it’s the phantom of the soap opera.


You confirm, “When I look for the I, I find nothing.” You are seeing the illusion as illusion, as appearance. That’s IT. There is no need to take on board the idea that the I is anything other than an appearing and disappearing thought, a movement of Energy-Intelligence, seemingly a “thing,” appearing as separate and independent … but actually only a figment of imagination and nothing substantial. Without the Awareness Presencing can any thought arise? What never changes? Have your Being as That (the closest to “Truth” is the knowingness-livingness of that non-conceptual Being-Aliveness itself, that which is pointed to by the thought of an “I” … the thought-concept is NOT that which is pointed to...)


So essentially I would say simply stop believing that there is anything wrong with an appearing I thought. Drop the belief that anything that appears ought to be different. What’s wrong with any appearance? Only the mind deals in right and wrong, better and worse, good and bad. The mind, the “personal self," IS the judging ideation of something being wrong or missing. Just keep on seeing he false as false. Staying with the Presence of Awareness, all else drops off naturally and Now, as ever, Here, You Are. That which You ARE is unborn, unthought, unconceived, unknown, yet It Assuredly IS. You are what is sought.


So there is still an I there.


Where? Earlier you stated that you had seen that when you look for a separate I you find nothing. The grasping mind wants to have it both ways. Just let that notion drop off now. Either it’s seen as absent and therefore insubstantial, an illusion, or it’s not.


That absence ... the undeniable unknowable nothing … is simply appearing as all that seems to be … and That NO Thing / Every Thing … IS what you are. That is the Pre-Conceptual I AM that is actually UNBORN, therefore never dies. What never changes? Only That can be the natural Eternal Stateless State … Being, just That. What this appearance actually is, is That No Thing appearing as all these somethings … every thing. Can something arise from nothing?


There it is in a single riddle: Can something come from nothing? Chew on that one.


The personality comes back and says I am here. 


Who believes what these appearing and disappearing thoughts say? That statement is totally false; it’s all story. Get down under the story … who is saying this and who is believing this? It’s a “tale told by an idiot signifying nothing.” This believer is false. It, and its beliefs, comes and goes. What is REAL? Only that which never comes and goes. Just BE THAT.


And Nisargadatta says quite clearly that "Death" means that the "I am" has disappeared, it has gone. No such luck here. 


That “I” that’s being still considered to be “you” dies every night in sleep. So you’re lucky every night!


Looking, it is seen: What’s being pointed to is That which never changes; That which is the experience-ing noumenon, the spaceless timeless isness that is the foundation and backdrop, the silent awareness that is prior to and contains all these apparent “states” of life and death, like wakefulness and sleep.




Right now, where you are, look and see … is there any “person” apart from a thought story? Drop that story and just be what you are … Presence-Awareness, ever fresh and always “on,” Self-knowing and Self-illuminating. Your True Nature.


ONLY That IS, in Truth. (The truth is NOT in words; IT is The Silence that appears as words. So do NOT believe a word of this!) All that appears is the mind’s imagination, and a belief in that only stands in the absence of a firm investigation into what is actually happening here. What is happening? A story, pictures, words, sounds, filled with sound and fury.


Your expectations of some attainment of “death of the I am” is the mind only and not the Real. Find the Real to be what you are and let all the questions dissolve in the Self-Knowing Awareness of your own Eternal Being.






    16 August 2007





M.H. Asks, I have been reading whatever I could get my hands on re non-duality over the past 3 years.  My first introduction to non-duality was through reading Tony Parsons and ‘Sailor’ Bob Adamson.  I have also been lucky enough to go to some talks and a residential with Tony.


You are hanging out with the BIG dogs!

In recent weeks there appears to have been a shift where there seems to be a recognition of the oneness in everything. So if I look at a tree, it is seen as oneness treeing, or a person as oneness personing, pain as oneness paining etc. As you know this is the type of language Tony uses. There does appear to be great relief in this, in that the search is not as intense as it has been for as long as I can remember.


And that is a happening in what you are … non-conceptual, cognizing emptiness. That is beyond experience or story. Experiences, when taken to be the seeker’s holy grail, can be confusing: This sure FEELS like liberation. But in this so-called Final Understanding or Liberation there is no separation, and no entity to “know” that Oneness is treeing or personing etc. Those ways of pointing to what IS are ONLY pointers and not to be taken on board as some “reality” or “attainment” of, or for, “one,” or (even) “One-ness!” This whole subject-object illusion can get very subtle and sophist aced but WHO is experiencing or knowing or seeing? There is still a false idea of separateness in this whole wondrous experience and story.

However something still puzzles me.


Puzzles WHOM? Who is this “me” that is puzzled?


When I read Sailor Bob, he talks about, the sense of I am, and the importance of staying with that.


The “I Am” Bob is (I assert) referring to is NOT the conceptual thought form … the thought “I Am” is NOT the “I Am-Ness” or a “personal entity.” That’s a thought and as Bob notes over and over, the thought is NOT the actual. The thought “I Am” is NOT the Pure empty I Am, any more than he word coffee is the actual liquid stuff.


In Reality, Presence-Awareness, there is no triad of “knower, object known, process of knowing.” That is a false belief pinned to an idea of a separate “me” entity. This Awareness-Presence is Impersonal Being Itself.


This silent spacious know-ING I Am Ness IS. It is the very Existence of Aliveness Itself. Non-dual and non conceptual, undeniable and unknowable. Incomprehensible to the split-mind ideation of “me/other-than-me.” That ideation arises in This Being that is always so, always only reality, always ever present and always new, fresh, alive and full on at all apparent times. Timeless Spaceless Isness … the word is NOT the actual, look back from behind where the words point and it is seen … by no one.


THIS … Non-conceived I AM … is the silent know-ing of self-shining Empty Beingness. This emptiness is all there is. “Emptiness is Form. Form is Emptiness.” NOT TWO.


When I try to sense that I amness, it is felt as something very vibrant, spacious and alive. However it does feel as if there is an " I" doing it.


Okay. Find this “felt I.” Investigate. What is it? Where is it? Is it actually real or merely a movement of thought-sense-feeling ENERGY? Aliveness patterns as thought, sentience, sensation, subtle feeling-knowing. What is the fuel that powers all that? When you are asleep at night something beats the heart, breathes the lungs, grows some cells and disintegrates other cells. All this happens without “you.” What power is That which wakes up and knows - and then says  - I AM?


It seems to go, I, I Am, I Am Me, I Am a Body, a mind, a separate entity ... apart from a world “out there,” I am and the world is, they are two. All that is false.


The Real is that Power that fuels the ignorance. Full Stop.


Uncover THAT through rigorous investigation. Now look: Of course it is essentially 'true' that there is no one to do or not do that. BUT don't take that Transcendent Truth to be something you have attained or that you own. The paradox here is, so long as there is the belief in a separate one who is a 'do-er,' that can, and usually must, be investigated and found to be false. Starting from the fact that Being IS what never changes, and that this unchanging essence IS what is real, and that 'you' are already and always only THAT, then if the belief in a 'me' persists put it into the fire of the question: WHO or WHAT IS THIS I or ME? Where is it? Is it always present or does it come and go in silence? ASK. Seek the source of this Power and find Your Self … unknowing alive awareness beingness. NOT TWO.


Don’t believe any of this. These words are pointers ONLY. NONE of this is “TRUE.”


The sense of I amness comes and goes very quickly and there is a sense that I am trying to grasp it.


So stop doing that! CAN YOU? Try! Then it may be seen that all that happens, happens ... without “your” will or volition. And all that happens appears to happen on the silent screen of self-knowing self-shining spacelike Awareness-Presence.


So there is a me trying to allow this sense of I amness to come to the surface and live from that.


Is there? Challenge that assumption. “Me” is a concept. What you are has never been a concept. What NEVER comes and goes, even in deep sleep? Have your stand there (here.) Then drop that as well … if you can. See that all this happens in that very ever-present cinema-screen-like Awareness-Spaciousness that is NEVER turned on or off, even in deep sleep!


It feels contrived and a little unnatural.




There is more a sense of a oneness and " Not two", in the recognition (if that is what it is) of Tony's description of oneness and beingness.

Again, for WHOM?

I am just wondering if this is something you came up against?




I know you speak very highly of both Sailor Bob and Tony and would be very interested to get your take on this?  I appreciate your time and all the help you have given me in my search. Thanks.


There is NO difference between “Sailor” Bob, Tony, and YOU in Reality ... NONE. All differences are only a thought-feeling-sensing-perceiving story ... the "tale told by an idiot, filled with sound and fury, signifying ... NOTHING, in Reality. Drop all these separations and false distinctions. Investigate who believes he or she is apart from a Bob or a Tony? All these corpses are animated by One Essence. Find that Essence, your very Self, and all these false ideas and queries fall off naturally and al that is left is what you already are right now – Presence-Awareness, just That!


There is nothing this bodymind would rather be engaged in than this powerful looking and sharing. (Yes, there are still preferences, but not attachment to them.) Thank YOU for your questions and your openness. I really am profoundly grateful for the clear seeing and the end of suffering that has arisen here and sharing pointers to that with “apparent others” is a great gift in “this boy’s life.”


Keep that investigation going! Asking WHO is asking these questions? Who is experiencing Oneness, or not? WHO or WHAT is puzzled, confused or doubts its existence as Presence-Awareness? To whom is all this happening? Can I find any “person” in this organism? Apart from thought, where am I? Am I a thought? A feeling? What is it that NEVER changes, and on the blank screen of which all that is appears and disappears “moment by moment” in apparent “time?”


That Thou Art.


The bottom line is this:


The sense of I Am is an appearance, an aspect of Consciousness. As long as there is a sense of separation, which is merely a (false) belief that this sense of being an individual is what you are, it works (for some, if it happens) to seek the source of that beingness.


The experience of Oneness is part of the dream. Ask yourself this: What is it here, in (so to speak) THIS organism labeled x, which never changes? What never moves yet is the essence of all movement?


Ask You.


In the sage words of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi:


"The thought 'Who am I?' will destroy all other thoughts, and like the stick used for stirring the burning pyre, it will itself in the end get destroyed. Then, there will arise Self-Realization."


There is a lovely paradox in all this: While there is in Truth no such thing as a separate “I’ and you already ARE what you seek, as long as there is the false BELIEF in an individual  “me, myself, and I” then this investigation is clearly called for.


Keep going. Stay in touch, and don’t refuse to BE what you are: Presence-Awareness, Just That.


10 August 2007





Q: have been mulling something over since our meeting last Sunday. I'm wondering about something. Three times during the meeting, I experienced what you call a "mind-stump."


That is what I refer to as a “Full Stop:” When there is a pause of thought-feeling stories, and the mind is in abeyance, there is Naked Awareness. Just That. That is what you actually always are....


In this pause you don’t fall apart. So it is seen that Presence-Awareness, the non-conceptual beingness labeled by the mind as “I am,” IS the ever-fresh ever-present Reality beyond the mind.  (This is seen, but not by the person, because the “person” is naught but a thought, and in this full stop there is no person.)


This Self Shining Presence is like the empty screen on which the movie appears. The thing that makes this illusory dream appearance so believable as “our reality” is that the ”screen” is actually not flat; it is multi-dimensional. So it’s more like the metaphor of the hologram. And Awareness-Presence is like the Laser light. That light of Awareness-Presence is like the hologram’s laser light without which the hologram has no independent reality or actual substance. The hologram can't appear without or apart from the laser light. Like that, Presence Awareness is the Light which IS the actual essence and substance of all that is, and the appearance ("life")  is both apart from that (seemingly) and an aspect of that (actually.) These are NOT TWO.


You will never grasp and own this with the mind! Don't try to analyze the pointers; LOOK where they are pointing.


This appearance has NO actual independent existence apart from Presence Awareness. And what you call “I” or "x"” is ALSO an appearance and has no finite actual existence apart from that Presence Awareness…. When this is seen, and when the false belief in a separate “me” entity is finally seen as false (like a ‘flat earth’) then it’s game over. From then on there is unshakeable peace and natural acceptance of what is, when there is the seeing that wht you are IS the silent screen on which life happens. That Awareness Presence Silence is FULL with Loving Being This … appearing and disappearing in a phantasmagoric display. What a show!


Q: Was this something that you intentionally did with me or was it just a result of our conversation? I've been discussing this with some friends to enlighten them and began to wonder if you knew this was needed for me or what.


There are some false assumptions at play here. First off there is the assumption that there is a separate entity called Charlie who has an agenda or intention. This is NOT the case here. What is said is said with no purpose, intention or goal. All that bubbles out of the mouth here is pointers to That Indescribable Isness. You are like so many looking at the pointer and trying to figure out if there is some purpose, intention, or desied outcome on my part, and there is not. Dear One: There is NO “enlightened teacher” trying to “enlighten” anyone. The second assumption is that there is an entity called (x) who can “get” this. There is NOT. There are no actual separate individuals, not here, not there, not anywhere. All there is is what’s happening, including words and music!


In the conversation pointers are shared. Then insights happen. But these are NOT connected; there is no actual cause and effect relationship at work anywhere. That idea is only a story (the tale told by an idiot!) It is Heart To Heart, not "person to person!"


Q: I do know this much........I learned from the mind-stumps ...


Let’s have a go at UN learning now. Fair enough? What is at work here is a mind trying to grasp, to learn, to collect more data, to add to its store of (false) knowledge. Try on that al knowledge is actually ignorance. I invite you to join me in Unknowing. Not Knowing, there is Peace. Not knowing, there is Silence. Not knowing, there is Love. Unconditional, unfettered, unencumbered Love, with no attachment or version to ANYTHING.


Let’s talk soon. Meanwhile, I'd suggest that you have a good read and re-read of the pointers in the “Nowsletter” and on the website.


Have a great Now!


(8 August 2007)





R. asks, "i" feel that almost every time the thought of "i" or "me" slides by the mind its often exposed by awareness. and lately, in the persistence of this sort of "watching" ( it seems like "i'm" persisting, but i know its not so) …


All that you are describing the passing show. A particularly “spiritual” movie, it seems! All this is happening in what you are ... ordinary blank slate awareness-presence. This that you are is untouched by the fantasy-show passing along imaginary time. There is nothing wrong or right with any of this. It simply IS … like clouds, some wispy, some dark and stormy, in the empty sky. This Aware Presence that you are is not a watcher or a witness, nor an experience of void or emptiness. It (YOU) IS. That is all. IT IS. And that is two words too many.


Space-like Awareness is NOT an object “known” by the false subject (mind.)


When you say “I know it is not so,” there is the ego-mind CLAIMING the Understanding for itself; it is subtle, it claims its own absence! That is something that seems to occur often as the Absolute Nondual Understanding takes hold. This Nondual Seeing or Understanding is like a “Good” Cancer that eats away at all the false egoic beliefs in volition and free will. Then it tries to keep a sense of control by claiming it “gets it.” That could be called “spiritual ego.” It happened here, along the way. So all this is simply a happening, and what you are stands in the clear, unseen and unknowable in the way the imaginary ego-mind takes concepts on board, so it knows, comprehends, grasps. It’s ALL imagination!


You will never get this in the mind. The mind is only a thought (the “I” thought) and as such, mind is an object that appears and goes away. Can a thought see or do anything?


What is that which Never Changes? The “I” comes and goes, as you report in this email. Look right now: what Never Changes? In waking, dreaming, deep sleep? That Thou Art.


There are experiences in the mind and body of a kind of automatic nature.. almost as if mind, body, world, universe, even awakeness itself, is sort of self contained. like no ones running the show. of course i've read this many times, but never experienced it first hand!


Treat this experience as just another “spiritual experience.” A momentary happening. Then the mind wants to turn that into a “truth” that it “knows.” That is all that is happening. My good friend John  Greven described a similar happening (in his very good book “Oneness”),  and shares how it was finally seen that this seeing, while it may be “the way it is,” it is still appearing and disappearing in the timeless spaceless Being, that Eternal, Natural Absolute Freedom. Anything that comes and goes cannot be the Eternal State. Eternity is not “a real long time.


What is this knowing presence of awareness, or awareness of presence, BEFORE the mind? That which is never “off,” never missing, ever-fresh, ever-present? See that all the stories and experiences are in a dead imaginary past and all fears of “what about me, what is happening to me” are dead imaginary future. !” Presence is never more or less present. Awareness is never more or less aware!


Who is it that believes there is a solid separate ‘me” that can be threatened?? Who is it that is convinced that there is such a “thing” as “time?” This endless beginningless Now Awareness is absolute and untouched by all that arises in it. Who thinks? Who types and reads and feels? WHO?


Also i know that experience can only ever be experience and that’s where it ends, but when this is revealed, it feels like "me" but not "me" because this (we'll say big me nobody) is looking at this automatic existence and even the very awakeness itself!


There is no “big me.” That is the false claiming mechanism of the imaginary ego wanting to maintain its identity. All just another appearance in what You are – Presence Awareness, emptiness. But look for this “me” … ‘big me” or “little me” … and you will not find anything … this is the investigation needed: Seek the source of the “I Am” idea, find out if there really IS any such entity as a separate “me” (even the really huge “me” that is spacelike and all encompassing.” What is being pointed to is NOT an object that mind can grasp and own. “I am Nothing, or I am God” seems in some cases to be a last stand of the false idea of separation. That is an idea of an personal entity claiming to be an impersonal being. Who is this one? What is the source of all this? Is there a source? Is separation real? For whom?


The question “Who Am I” can unravel all this IF you steadfastly refuse ANY answer. Just ask the question: Who Am I? Who Am I? Here’s what the great Sage Sri Ramana Maharshi said on this “method” of investigation into the false:


"The thought 'Who am I?' will destroy all other thoughts, and like the stick used for stirring the burning pyre, it will itself in the end get destroyed. Then, there will arise Self-Realization."


There is a lovely paradox in all this: While there is in Truth no such thing as a separate “I’ and you already ARE what you seek, as long as there is the false BELIEF in a “me, myself, I” then this investigation is clearly called for.


i know none of this can be understood by the mind, because "it" (awareness) sees the mind, body, world, senses.


Who is claiming to “know” this?!?


Awareness does not see! There is seeing happening in Awareness. The false ego-mind in its ignorance claims Awareness as a thing that sees! Awareness is NOT a perceiving object. Awareness is nothing! No Thing. NOT an object. Awareness IS all that is. IT is all there is. Awareness, Consciousness is all there is. All there is is Awareness, Consciousness. Being-Awareness-Loving to be. That is what you really are. Not Two. Not Two. Not Two.


but there is a definite change in the way existence is experienced! or so it seems…


Okay, WHO “knows” this? Who experiences this … or not? What is that on which change happens?? (Like the movie appears on the blank screen.) Investigate these claims of the false ego-mind: Who Am I? ASK ASK ASK. Who Am I? Accept No answer!!


Who Am I? Not That. Who Am I? Not That. Ask until the questioner dissolves and there will be what was never missing and is there (here) right now: Self-shining Presence, the Light of UN-Knowing Awareness. Just That and nothing else!


i've also watched your video about anxiety. this explained a lot. ive experienced anxiety much throughout this awakening. mostly due to the mind sporadically realizing that it’s not in control of anything!! even movement of limbs! It’s damn hard to "let" anxiety or downright panic happen. even though it just does. is this crazy?? it feels, at times,  like mind is dying or something, and its fighting with fear and panic. especially at wal- mart! (no joke).


Right. And all that is also an appearance in the endless open sky of Empty Being. What is crazy is accepting the false (the idea of being a separate entity) as real. This is simply a crazy mistake that started around the age of two or three when the belief formed that there is “me” and “other than me.” Fear is the idea that there is an entity to be threatened by scary “others” (people at Wal-Mart? I don’t find any such ‘others’ in the Wal-Mart here!)


Investigate the false and it will be seen (by no one) that all there is, is Awareness-Presence, appearing as all this play of consciousness. You are not a concept or object that can be hurt...  or touched in any way. Get down to this investigation straight away. Are you the body? Are you the thinker? Who says so? Who? Stop accepting hearsay. Find your own Truth right here right now. And do stay in touch. Let’s get this ended for you right now.



anyway, i guess my question is: is this normal or am i crazy?






thank you!! after reading this about 20 times, writing, asking more questions, seems un- needed so to speak. the question "who am i" ... answer " i am me?" question: " who is me?" " i dont know!" "who doesnt know??? whos asking " who doesnt know?!!" and on and on. the question " who am i" even seems ridiculous " to whom does it seem..?" ha!!




Now,keep looking until there is no one left to look or ASK "WHO am I?" !! Then the I is simply another thought with no belief that the thought is what you are.


Well done!

(9 August 2007)





E.P. Asks, Does a realized sage feel anxiety? I keep on worrying about being anxious sometimes, but i really think that it's an emotion like any other.


Anything, any emotion, any feeling, any story, can arise in any human organism. Including the organism some call “the sage” through which complete “realization” has happened. There may be anxiety, for example about unpaid bills, or some issue of health. However (and this is a HUGE "however,") for the "sage" there is NO egoic overlay, no additional commentary, that the situation about which there is anxiety "should NOT be happening." That goes of course for the anxiety itself as well ... the anxiety is also seen to be just a happening and there is no sense that IT should not be happening either. All that arises is accepted as simply what is, what is arising and passing, but this acceptance is NOT an act of will on the part of a "person." This is acceptance of all that is, as it is, but there is no "acceptor."


Now taking a deeper look, let's find out, what IS anxiety? The word, the concept, is labeling some experience, usually unwanted. There may be a rise in body temperature, a quickening pulse rate, a feeling of tension in the chest, hollow feelings in stomach and so on. These all get lumped together and labeled "anxiety. Then comes the egoic claim, "I am anxious," and that mechanism that claims any happening as "happening to me" is the core and root cause of suffering.


So you see, there CAN be anxiety. But for no one. Only when there is BELIEF in a separate person the ego mind calls "me" (identity of organism with name Eduardo as a separate "me") is there suffering. Pain and suffering are absolutely distinct. There can be pain. But once the false belief in a separate entity has been seen through and is known to be only a thought construct appearing in the Silence that you are, there is NO problem, with anxiety or anything else.


It is only an as yet insufficiently examined acceptance of the false “personal entity” as an assumed fact that there can be suffering. Get to the source of this belief in separation and the whole structure simply falls apart, leaving what was always and only what You are, Self-shining Silence-Awareness. Where is there a person? Apart from a thought is there any such thing? And can a thought do or experience anything? Where is this person? Looking, deeply and earnestly, see if you con locate any such entity! You will never find a person in the organism. All you find is thoughts and feelings, a "story of me," arising and dissolving in Awareness, your own silent Being.


What NEVER changes? Know right now that THAT unchanging Presence IS what you are. That Aware Presence that is always right there (here) wherever you are, whatever is happening, the silent immovable background of the entirety of your experience, IS what you are.


6 August 2007 


Empty Sandals

Q: Do you ever feel like you are just Dead. Night and day seem to blend together, motivation and the get up and go, due to panick, fear etc... is gone. Its nice but at times I feel like I may be walking as the old saying goes on the earth but not of it. Have you experienced this?

A: Sounds arising from Empty Sandals ...

Nothing is ever excluded from Oneness. 

All there is is, all there is!

Since you exist, you and the dreams and questions and experiences and thoughts and perceptions and emotions or states of mind all must be That.


Not a single thing is excluded in the grand appearance. 

Love ya, 






Q: I understand it all very well intellectually--that there's no separate entity, no 'thinker' behind thoughts or 'doer' behind actions, and all that exists is THIS Presence-Awareness—there is still the experience here of a separate personal "I", or a "me".  So the only thing that seems appropriate is to let life flow spontaneously as it always has and just wait things out...but, of course, even then if there's no such thing as a future 'time', then "waiting for enlightenment to happen" becomes just another concept in the present moment appearing on the Screen of Awareness.

...that's sort of where 'I' am at.  Any comments???


A: Here's a quote from John Wheeler ... "He who waits, waits forever."


What does that point to?


The notion that the "I" will disappear is one of what might be called the seeker's myths of self realization. The I is no problem. The sense of being a  "me" is no problem. The only niggling remnant here was the idea that the I thought needed to be somehow annihilated ... but by whom? It's a fiction trying to dispel a ghost.


For me the final clarity on all this came through simply seeing that the I is only an ephemeral appearance that comes and goes. There's no issue with that: The issue seems to be in the taking that thought on board as our identity rather than simply knowing once and for all that This Presence, the Awareness that is the formless timeless backdrop, is the only true Reality.


What NEVER changes? Only That can be the Real.


So the IDEA of a separate person can come and go (and will!) so long as the Aliveness of Presence is appearing as the organism ... and the clarity of this seeing is that there's no false notion that anything in this appearance should be different ... including the idea of personhood!


The I thought is kind of like the idea that the earth is flat. Just an idea ... a movement of energy arising as thought. Once seen to be only a belief in a flat earth, and not the reality, that idea was no longer taken on as the reality of ocean and earth. The usual pointer is, if someone in Bombay said hello to Nisargadatta, he would say hello back. The organism functions as it always has, only the identification as that I-person is seen ... KNOWN .. to be false and is no longer believed in.


This knowing is direct, immediate and incontrovertible … yet devoid of a knower and an object known. What’s real is the know-ING.


Here's a question: What can you locate anywhere anywhen that is NOT an object appearing to and within the Awareness that you are?


That which never changes is ordinary awareness. This ordinary Awareness - your undeniable inexhaustible ever-present being-knowing-lovingtobe ... IS the emptiness of cognizing presence and the fullness of all there is. Everything/Nothing.


So I would suggest to drop the search for someday, drop the label "intellectual" and leave it at "The Understanding" ... which is the pure aware knowing that yes, "i am existence itself." That one only POINTS to the Truth ... simply don't mistake the sign for the actual... you know this. The search is over when you stop attaching to objects and know thyself as the Subject in which (and as which) the objective "world" appears...


Take up your existence-presence-affinity as an identity in and as this Unbounded Awareness Itself and refuse any objective thingness-identification whatsoever. Sat-Chit-Ananda. Just this and no thing else!


It's all good.


If you have a copy of "I Am That" you might like to re-read chapter 44.


"...the world of Absolute Reality, onto which your mind has projected a world of relative reality is independent of yourself, for the very simple reason that it is yourself."


Look where THAT one points, without trying to comprehend it or fit it into the framework of concepts and the false reference point that springs from the pure unsullied 'I Am' Consciousness! You are quite right in the seeing that all ideas of goals like "enlightenment" or "Liberation" are conceptual creations of the mind's endless capacity for constructing idea and relating them to other ideas, all ultimately 'belonging' to a "me" and all appearing as puffs of clouds in the Ordinary Everyday Ever-Fresh Awareness that you actually are, to be a bit redundant!


Please do feel free to write again. Let me know how all this vibrates and resonates in the I Am "over there ..."

July 4th, 2007





Anything can appear ... and does ... in and on what we are - pure naked presence



Q: Howdy - hope all is well. Hey I got something to ponder.  What is your take on spirits and orbs? I went to Gettysburg last night and a friend of mine is a ghost tour guide. I saw come real interesting photos of spirits captured on film.

My thoughts are that spirits are just another version of oneness expressing in its many ways. But why do some appear and others don’t, are they trapped, why do these energies get caught in this repetition. I think I know why but would like to hear your opinion too.

Peace and love ...pretending to  be Michael



A: Anything is possible in a dream. Waking dream or sleeping dream, it's all an appearance to what is Real.


What never changes? That alone is Real. And That cannot be conceived, perceived, or "known" by the thought-feeling-story we call "mind." There are no “trapped entities"; that is a story that is believed by a false "persona" to avoid the confrontation that THIS IS IT and there ain’t no afterlife!


All that appears are objects to that Pure One Subject ... and paradoxically ARE that pure One Subject in It's aspect of objects manifesting. All is made of what never changes and only appears to change, like the light forming pictures on a television screen.


In other words it's all One ... and all why questions will only lead to more thought story - the never ending mindplay arising in This One.


This is it. As it is and as it ain't.



Question, from P.B.: So what was it that convinced you beyond the shadow of a doubt that consciousness was running the whole show and that there were no separate individual i's running around? 


The question contains a false premise. The false assumption is that there is in your words, a “you.”  That "got convinced."


Investigation happened. Inquiry into the false sometimes (no promises!) reveals it as false … what thinks? What wants to know? And this so happened to show that the “me” that wanted to “be convinced” had no existence in reality. It was merely a thought, only taken on board as a separate “entity” called “me” due to ignorance … ignoring the fact that there is NO evidence whatsoever for the existence of any separate entities anywhere, not here, not anywhere else!


It APPEARS that LOTS of “individuals” are running around. Just seeing the dream as a dream can happen. The dream of "an individual" appears separate and real. That’s the magic show! I watched Magician David Copperfield disappear a train locomotive! It’s absolutely convincing.


Who is it you believe is here that is convinced? There ain’t no such and the idea that there is a person there asking a person here is the cause of all problems. It can be seen through, but NOT by YOU!  This seeing is the unquestionable absence of that which asks the question.


This Seeing is NOT a matter of conviction. It’s the absence of belief in either a person or conviction.


The investigation itself is simply a movement of Energy – patterning as all there is; all that is happening, is One-Energy manifesting as This. As-It-Is.


To tell a story, this investigation was apparently prompted in meetings with John Wheeler and ‘Sailor’ Bob, and others ... notably Tony Parsons, Annette Nibley and John Greven. But as we’ve discussed, as that Hindu “crow and coconut” metaphor points to; all notions of cause and effect are a story the mind tells itself to explain Life away. The mind is terrified by the idea that it has ZERO power to cause and control life. See that this mental questioning ...  and all the usual seeker-guru posturing ... is simply an escape mechanism. It’s a clever strategy to avoid confronting the absence of the so-called person who has any free will or independent ability to choose or decide, that avoids inquiry like the plague, out of fear for its (illusory) survival.


And, by the way, one subtle way "it" strategizes is to pretend "it"  “now knows who it is!” That's a wild wooly madness indeed.


In Actuality there is what is, exactly only happening as it is. Period. Full stop! No doer, only Life ... Life-ING. You are that experiencing, that Energetic Silence that keeps the stars apparently apart...


Totality is Not Two. It is. This is IT. There are no hidden meanings or attainments or realizations to be had. No one to be convinced! Full stop.


Have a beer!


Q: Mainly what was it that detached you from your identification with the I thought as a thing and revealed your true being?


The question, like the first one, has a false premise. The false assumption is that there is in your words, a “you” (called “charlie”) that got detached from a false identity. Look at this! A false entity! Who or what “gets detached from” something that has no real existence?" This is chasing a phantom with a phantom.  Waking up out of that happens, or it doesn’t. There can be investigation. There can be seeing the false as false. But there is NO "cause and effect" apart from a story (a tale told by an idiot signifying nothing.)


Q: I have a "friend" in Georgia who says there is no cause and effect and that that is the answer, that there is no cause and effect. What say you?


Who cares? Who asks? Who says? Who is speaking and who is listening? I suggest that rather than look at what others claim as understanding, you find your own pathless way Home. Investigation seems to be key for most seekers. ESPECIALLY those who claim they are no longer seekers, yet keep asking questions like this! J Or offering conceptual "answers" that are, plainly, nonsense. NO answer is "IT!"


Look: In this final seeing there are NO ANSWERS! Answers are crap. Drop all answers!. Try on simply NOT KNOWING. When it dawned that all my knowledge was actually ignorance, Really! … the end game began here.


Be in unknowing awareness. Just be. Just be.


What never changes? Concepts change. Feelings change. Experiences change. Knowledge changes. Answers change. Beliefs come and go. What never comes and goes? What is always so, what does not sleep, does not wake, does not know, and yet IS?


Rather than compare pointers and get all wrapped up in this or that concept, seeking the “true concept,” just recognize that all this is absolutely futile. The truth when spoken immediately turns to crap. Deal words, all lies! There is NO “Truth.” There is only What IS.


There is no attainment, no realization, no enlightenment, no personal state of endless peace, nothing like that exists. What you are is beyond all this. Inconceivable, un-experienced and un-experienceable, nothing that can be known, said, conceived period full stop! 


Q: And how long is a moment?


Okay, where does a "moment" start? Here? Now? When does "now" begin? When is it not now? Where is it not here? All this is merely the story of a "me" that "wants to know...” Who or what IS that "me?" Can you find one anywhere anywhen?


What is always Present PRIOR to "Now?"  Where is Awareness BEFORE there is "HERE?"


Without a thought, do you still exist?

What is THAT??

What Never Changes?

What IS? Is there is Aliveness- Energy-Appearing-As This, "momenting" in (apparent time")??








Q: In your book ["From I Am to I Am, With Love"] you state;"Know that you are presence awareness. Know that you are not a separate "person", also "Do you doubt that you exist? And...that you are aware? No one can deny the fact of his or her own existence." Who is this "you" that you constantly refer to?


The "you" you believe yourself to be. The "you" that asks this question.

Who is to say that the you that is referred to in my previous e-mail (see above and immediately below) is not the same you that you yourself refer to in your book?


You do. Or not. As a false entity claiming to be you.

As to your question "who is it you believe is here that got convinced?" Absolutely nobody, the question was purely self to self, I asked myself and believed that a straightforward answer would be the reply.


The reply as it always does bubbled up from nowhere and was in response to the energy that propelled the question … the sense of a false entity asking. Then "You" did not like the reply. That IS the false "you," judging and evaluating. Who says what is “straightforward?” Only a judging mind-ego. The false “you” that asks and likes or doesn’t like what is offered out of nowhere to no one, heart to heart, from I am to I am.


If all my questions are coming from the false assumption that there is a me and nothing can be seen through by "me" then to whom are you addressing the statements in your book?


Asked and answered above. That stubbornness will make you suffer eventually, if it is not presently! I have some direct experience of that! It’s not funny, and not pleasant. To say it straight, as a friend in England notes, “I hope you die soon.” (The FALSE “you.” What you are cannot die, That was never born!)

I never claimed enlightenment, so why is it that my questions are seen any different than those questions posed by those around me?


Who said your questions are seen as different? I wrote,  ... ESPECIALLY those who claim they are no longer seekers, yet keep asking questions like this! J Or offering conceptual "answers" that are, plainly, nonsense. NO answer is "IT!" This is as much a reference to that “friend” who made a claim the he or she had “the answer” as to the false “you” who has quoted Ramana Maharshi to me and seemed to be making a claim to the “final understanding.”  But look, WHO CARES? Only an ego, only a false self center, would give a shit what was said in an e-mail? WHO or WHAT took that personally!!?? Find OUT!


Why are my questions seen as coming from some one who "claims they are no longer seeking and yet keep asking questions like this" as if my so  called enquiry is not as genuine and authentic as the inquiry you  yourself claimed to have done. If you see me as mis-representing  myself I would ask you who it is that sees this?


Here you go again. Can you drop this and just BE what you are? No. Because you have NO control over this posturing and constantly trying to show that “you know.” Been there, suffered in that. There is compassion here. but no tolerance for bullshit.


Are you suffering? Get down and dirty with this. Rather than make all these accusations and couch all your “know-it-all-ness” in “questions,” dig down and find out who the hell you are that wants to know and wants to be wise and clever!

If you see me as someone who "claims they are no longer a seeker" I never purported such, otherwise why do you think I attend satsangs?


Who cares? All this is NOT going to allow the natural freedom to be seen. WHO is this who “attends satsangs?” And may I remind you that you did indicate once that you were not a seeker, just liked being with “like minded people.” That was a dead giveaway, whether “you” know it or not!


Just for clarity here, “I” do not see “you” as anything at all. It’s all a show arising in Presence Awareness … appearing as all this dance … a dance of Intelligence, Energy, seemingly real, while what You are hides in plain sight from “you.”

From my "understanding" there is "I" as a concept of a separate entity, which is how most people see themselves, isolated, cut off from that which is, that everything is separate, most people never even conceive of a universal I that is not a thought. Most people believe that what I points to is a body, even Ramana has said that this is the mis-identification, I associated with a body/mind,a thing instead of I seen as subject.

Drop it all! This intellectual understanding is the booby prize. It’s another load of crap. Quit spouting all that and LOOK for the one who “knows” all that garbage. Who and where are these most-people? It’s all a story! YOU are not a story, nor a character, nor do you know what is real, and you never will know the Oneness this way. You can’t get Here from there!

My questions are genuine, and I guess the answers that are expected go beyond the intellect, as I stated before when I went to my first satsang I knew that what was being said was true but did not know how  I knew.


Again there is the judging mind and its expectations. Your expectations will never ever be fulfilled. Not here, not anywhere! WHO says there is any saying that is TRUE! There is NO such thing as a “said truth!” In ignorance we accept concepts as true and fail to notice the backdrop of pure nondual Silence that these concepts arise within. And as to all knowing, ALL your “knowing” is actually ignorance. The so-called “truth” is found only when there is absolute NOT knowing. You have only gone from conceptual chains of iron to chains of gold.

Now I can say this,that perhaps you have not yet found an “outer teacher” who points out the Reality in a way that resonates for you. There are many fine teachers on my links page. For your personality, I suspect that Annette Nibley might be helpful to you. Go explore, until the suffering is ended.

As for myself I refuse to "parrot" intellectual knowledge, as it has been said "you know it like spit in the mouth" that's when it's genuine.


This is funny! After parroting Ramana Maharshi you make this claim!


All this is is yet another concept! Are you FREE? Or are you suffering? Get real, get with the direct and uncompromising pointing, get down off your high horse! It’s YOUR suffering. I could care less whether you are a parrot or not or what judgments the mind you believe is you makes. Get OFF it!

All answers are conceptual, it's the space they come from which defines them.

More bullshit. Ultimately, there ain’t no defining and ain’t no space and ain’t no “comes from." All there is is this Energy-Aliveness, appearing. You are simply stuck in identification with the mind. Wake up out of this intellectual story and see what is real, the NONCONCEPTUAL overlooked spaceless timeless Isness of Aliveness.


And yes there is still a seeming appearance of a separate entity here, as is stated there is nothing that cause's the effect of the  disappearance of the belief in a separate entity, or as Ramana states  it, it is like a burnt rope, it still has the appearance of a rope  but no longer has the power to bind.


That sounds very wise but you cannot have it both ways. If there is truly seeing that the I is an appearance only and that it’s like a burned rope, then WHY do you fight and argue and ask ask ask all these questions?


Throw away all your books and wise sayings and get down and get real. Go find a teacher you can work with who will n ot buy your bullshit and who you can respect. Your disrespect for the space here is palpable and unwelcome; it benefits no one to argue and fight for concepts and beliefs!


I stand by this from my website:


    Perhaps the habit is to identify your self as the thought "I" - as in I Am. Notice right now if the Presence behind the I thought has been overlooked. Break into the habit, being aware of That Presence as your True Identity. This takes no time nor practice. It's just a natural seeing ... right here, right now. And that's the end of seeking; the Natural, Eternal State has been found to be never missing.


And this from The Great Way:


     Don't waste time in doubts and arguments that have nothing to do with this. One thing, all things, move among and intermingle without distinction. To live in this realization is to be without anxiety about non-perfection. To live in this faith is the road to non-duality, because the non-dual is one with the trusting mind.

Words!The Way is beyond language,
for in it there is no yesterday
no tomorrow
no today.


(If it is heard heart to heart then all is said and done. if not? That's okay too.)


Have a beer. See a film. Have some fun!


Over and out.


Love  allways,



15 August 2007


Follow-up: From E. P. (First post 7 August 2007) ...  Q: I was wondering.....why spiritual traditions give some much emphasis on quietening the thoughts and emotions, IF WE ARE NOT THE THOUGHTS NOR THE EMOTIONS. I've been realizing it just doesn't need to be quiet. It's irrelevant!


Have "you" slipped back into believing you are a person who wants answers and asks why why why??


Who's asking the question? Is there is a dreamed character, "E.P.," who asks another dreamed character about the dream, all the while believing the dream to be the real?


All this arises in What Never Changes. What is it that NEVER CHANGES? Ask YOU. Who are you? ASK! Who AM I? WHO wants to know? WHO!!??


Thoughts and emotions are simply movements of energy, Awareness Presence arising as what appears and disappears.


All this arises in What Never Changes. What is it that NEVER CHANGES?


All those ignorant teachings fall short. A quiet mind is still a mind .. an idea of a person, a “me” … and what you are is OUTSIDE the so-called mind and all its machinations!


What Never Changes!!??

Presence, Being, the pure Space-Like I AM-ness .. can and does appear as ALL that is. No separation exists anywhere and even the thought of separation, of two-ness, IS what IDS and NOT actually apart from That. Being is al there is. Nothing appearing as everything. Full Stop.


Forget spiritual traditions. They are dead words appearing to a dream character who still wants to know "why." WHO is asking the questions? WHO want s to know? WHO!?


Drop it and BE.


Q: Yes, and you know what? I don't care anymore if questions arise. That's all mind stuff and it doesn't define anything. As I told you, I've been for so long trying to be still, quiet-mind, no worry, no anger, being in good health, as the 'gurus' advised me to, but it's all irrelevant.


So, no more anxieties, no more suffering?

Good on ya.

Right ON, E.P.!

Being ... Only That. Enjoy the Now...


E.P: As a matter of fact, poor health could be still fixed. To live from our noumenon essence doesn't imply having do let go of the phenomenon. Like, I've been for a while having trouble to sleep, and the organism feels horrible during the day...maybe it's a matter on strengthening the sleeping pills.
It's amazing how our society and yoga invests so much in the perfection of the personality, maybe because they still take peace as an attained perfection of the organism. Peace lies in the noumenon. Awareness recognizing itself.

Exactly. Well said. Welcome HOME ...


13 August 2007



Saturday, August 18, 2007: Update on the open letter

There it is ... the false idea of a "me" ... "poor me" or "happy me" or "sad me" or "suffering me" or "free as a bird me" ... they're all still a false identity appearing real and true only because of insufficient investigation. There MUST be the looking -- staring it down so to say ... look at that suffering, pain, sadness, depression and yes! Look at happiness, gladness, bliss, joy ... look at it from nowhere (now here) and get down under that idea (feeling) to Nothing But Your Self ... Naked Presence. Look from That at what appears to be real and the false breaks down ... it crumbles in the Light of Self-Aware Presence. Leaving what never changed and what is ever-fresh and ever-shining as the Light which illuminates all the mind-feeling play.

- Charlie Hayes


Consider this from Sri Nisargadatta:

"The mind produces thoughts ceaselessly, even when you do not look at them. When you know what is going on in your mind, you call it consciousness. This is your waking state - your consciousness shifts from sensation to sensation, from perception to perception, from idea to idea, in endless succession. Then comes awareness, the direct insight into the whole of consciousness, the totality of the mind. The mind is like a river, flowing ceaselessly in the bed of the body; you identify yourself for a moment with some particular ripple and call it "my thought". All you are conscious of is your mind; awareness is the cognizance of consciousness as a whole."

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj



A comment on The Open Letter:
That my consciousness, that is relative, is contained within and awareness which is absolute, seems very clear, simple and completely unremarkable.  How does this happen?  I was thinking of those pictures in which the figure is hidden within the ground and as one stares at it, the figure emerges as the ground recedes.  I think for myself, it takes just looking at the figure-whatever story line my mind spins- until the figure just recedes into the ground.  Someone once noted that there are no discontinuities in awareness- no break from when we fall asleep and when we wake up.  It may be a false memory but I seem to recall- as a very young child having the feeling that "me" arose out of this awareness.  
18 August 2007

An Open Letter to Readers Here:


It's clear as a bell that what I am and what YOU are, in the Absolute sense, is non-conceptual presence-awareness. But there is still this business of LIFE being fired point blank every moment!


In my actual direct living-experiencing, there is (sometimes) a gap between what is and what the ego asserts “should be.” It’s a no kidding GAP and the gap IS the suffering. It occurs to me that this suffering, the gap, IS the ego. Yet this “gap,” the “ego,” and the concomitant suffering, as well as the circumstances that “create” the gap, the suffering, and the person suffering, are all aspects of the One Totality… including this typing and whatever response it evokes. Yet it seems to be indicated to ask ME, what is the cause of all this? Is there one? And the inquiry into the “cause” of all of this, all that IS, is also a function of Totality and no personal author exists, it all IS. It’s happening! Now: I find no “cause. No “authoring entity,” not even a really huge one called God. Have I got it right thus far?


I realize also that all this is a story. But most seekers I have met are not able to get that. At least not fully, especially early on. The suffering is too real and the story is not seen as a story. That also still happens to “me.” So: They are not able to see with the clarity some express, that all this is only illusion and unreal.


Like Ramana’s “final truth” ... There is no creation, no dissolution, no path, no goal etc. Or the Zen master who said "From the beginning not a thing is."  Which also is most often not helpful and even Ramana often prescribed inquiry and acknowledged that there is suffering.


More to the point, the Buddha, who pointed out, “Life is suffering. Enlightenment is Peace. AND THESE ARE NOT TWO!”  That is, akin to Zen, an embracing of the WHOLE of what IS, including all that appears! ... and does not dismiss the body, mind, story as unreal. Mountain s ARE mountains and rivers ARE rivers. I believe it is a subtle trap to deny ANY aspect of the whole and that that can trip up the sincere committed seeker again and again as this aloof detachment is murdered by shit happening!


When a friend was here (the fellow who helped me move and came along for the ride) we spent some time with John Greven. I mentioned to JG that I had been pointing out to my friend that even my temper tantrums, my occasional bouts of suffering and the egoic wanting things to be different were ALL a part of this Absolute Beingness, arising as ALL that is. JG essentially agreed, and that confirmed and underscored for me that NOTHING is excluded ... nothing!! (I have NO doubts about the fact that John Greven is complete ... and his Presence resonates deeply here no matter whether there are words or not.)


Readers, what do you say about that Teaching of The Buddha? And I hope you don’t dismiss it as just the story, the “sleight-of-hand” of the mind, from a place of detached and cold indifference!


I am NOT “having a go" at other teachers here (I realize here it could seem that way.) I genuinely want to be real and get down with all this so I can point out what is real and not real in a way that meets seekers where they are and not from some lofty plane of “higher consciousness” or detachment. That’s why I am still looking at the two different ways the Hsin Hsin Ming is translated: I am swinging back to a preference for the later translation, “The great way is not difficult for those not ATTACHED to preferences.”



Love to All, All Ways,


17 August 2007




Comment, from John Greven:


The gap is the ego? Hum...
Ego=Web of ideas and thoughts which seem to form a real "me".
Gap=One of those thoughts.
Without the "gap" what would be? A modification to the web?
The end of suffering - is also a modification to the web. Suffering ONLY is in the appearance.

What you are and have always been has never and will never suffer. So, if a toothache is suffering - an enlightened person (whatever that is imagined to be) will suffer - in appearance - not in reality - same for all.

If the web of thoughts gets wrapped up in the toothache - suffering seems more.

17 August 2007





        Q and A and pointers are updated frequently; check back for new posts.

Pointers from the Empty Sandals

     “The knower comes and goes with the known, and is transient; but That which knows that it does not know, which is free of memory and anticipation, is timeless.” -Nisargadatta Maharaj, ‘I Am That,’ p. 395




     For this expression, called charlie (the host of this site), the idea of a prayer to God, "let thy will be done," is utterly redundant. Because the Expression and Understanding here it is that all there IS is "God's will." How can an all-knowing, all powerful, all encompassing Source or God ever be thwarted? Only an idea of a personal self ... an "ego." ... could ever consider itself separate from God, or Source. (What is this "ego" anyhow? Click Here for a double-take on that!)


     One God. No Other. This manifest universe, as it is, is the Play of That Source. All else is intellectual nonsense.


     The One God alone IS, and since you exist, you MUST be That One as well. Give up all ideas of seperation and all suffering ends in a single Transcendent Moment called NOW.


     Let's enjoy this Divine Play of God, right Now.


     That is all there is.


     That, Thou Art.

     Update July 25

     The mind is not your enemy.


     A clear mind allows for clear seeing that the pure awareness that shines prior to and through the mind is always and ever fresh and real, where the so-called 'mind' is but a movement of a vast creative intelligence appearing and dissolving within this presence, this unbounded awareness, that You are.


     Finding a teaching, a friend, a 'path' that encourages the seeing into the transparency of mind, and points out the fact of your own self-shining Being-Awareness-Acceptance of all that is, can be of great value for the end of your sense of a pained, unhappy 'personal self,' for whom 'something's wrong, something’s missing."


     There is nothing missing in the Infinite Is that You are. The mind is a tool of awareness and when clear, is the empty window through which your true nature is obvious and eternal.


     In the words of Sri Nisargadatta: "All the paths take you to the purification of the mind. The impure mind is opaque to the truth; the pure mind is transparent. Truth can be seen through it easily and clearly. (“I Am That,” p. 367)


     Some teachers/teachings decry the idea of Self-Inquiry or Meditation as impediments to this seeing-knowing Presence. How can anything impede or obscure awareness? Perhaps it is more useful to listen to your own heart-essence and allow whatever path or practice you are led to to do the work of Oneness … revealing the self-shining nature of Reality, right ‘on schedule.’


   Updated Wed. 7-18


     "Sharing" . . .


     Sometimes ... There is depression and despair here.


     At one time (so to speak!)  the understanding was, "I am depressed. Sad. Alone." But this is patently false ... it is now seen that to adopt the stance that despair or anger or even happiness is "mine" is to be steeped in ignorance. In other words, that is an IGNORING of the actual stateless state of all things, which is that, it is happening... and the idea or belief that it "happens to me" is a dreamed idea of a "person" which has no actual existence apart from a thought-feeling story (the "tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing.")


     In the unborn no-mind, all is as it is ... and all is perfectly unformed and free.


     What IS the eternal state? There ain't one! This Presence is NOT a state that can be owned or attained by a "person."


     That said: ANY suffering is a call for investigation: What suffers? The concept of a separate self who wants what is to be somehow better, different or more than just what is as it is. Looking into the space, allowing the suffering to BE as it is and simply looking with innocent curiosity ... investigate, see, transcend ... if you care to be FREE.....


     Then .. perhaps ... no one sees, that the "person" is a dream. Full Stop.


      B U T ... no promises.